C'mon Guys! Please Don't Show Us Your 'Heavage'

If you don't think that the culture is descending into blithering nonsense, follow male fashion. Actually, if you're following male fashion, you're living evidence that the culture has become degraded.

Last year, it was pointy-toed shoes where men willfully walked around looking like Santa's little helpers. This year, it's "heavage." What is heavage you ask? Heavage is man cleavage where just a little moob (man boob) and maybe a whole lot of hair is showing.

According to the Wall Street Journal fashion types, this means a return to ... manliness:

Man cleavage -- plunging necklines slit open to reveal chest hair, pectoral muscles, maybe more -- is back.

Until recently, male décolletage was an androgynous fashion affectation limited mainly to sporadic appearances on European runways. But the look, including deep V-necks and scoop-neck tops, hit the U.S. in full force at New York's September Fashion Week, turning up at shows by Duckie Brown, Michael Bastian and Yigal Azrouël.

If the fall runway shows were any indication, men's necklines are taking a plunge. WSJ's Ray Smith lets you know how far to go, and weighs in on the issue of chest hair.

This time around, the styles were more blatantly sexual and the models had more studly swagger. New York designer Mr. Bastian said his show's vibe was inspired in part by "Latin guys" he noticed wearing their shirts unbuttoned, as well as the unabashed machismo of Latin American men in general. "We wanted to go back to a more natural body, a more '70s body with the models, getting away from the super skinny," says Mr. Bastian.

I have some news for Mr. Bastian: The '70s were hideous. There were man perms. Remember the powder blue tux with ruffles? How about the wide lapels and the fat ties that fought them? This was the decade of Elvis Presley's lamb-chop sideburns. And even now, "pornstaches" (as in mustaches gracing '70s-era porn stars) are scorned.

The '70s was not a macho era; it was the drug-addled after affects of the hippie movement. It was not a good time stylewise or otherwise. It's interesting how male fashion is going the way of Jimmy Carter just as the country seems doomed to a Carteresque presidency.