Climategate and the Hamster Effect

Or, since they are not actually hamsters despite the close resemblance and enjoy greater latitude for improvisation, they adopt a go-for-broke strategy, intensifying the climate warming scenario in the assumption that amplifying a lie renders it credible. Thus, to give one example, the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation’s science program Quirks & Quarks warns of rising temperatures, massive flooding, abandoned islands, and hundreds of thousands of refugees if we refuse to support the UN Climate Conference in Copenhagen. The hundreds of millions of fiscal refugees, burdened not with rising temperatures but rising taxes, who would suffer from this species of make-believe are obviously a non-factor.

With a few welcome exceptions, for which we must be grateful, the newspapers and journals are no better. Article after article attempts to downplay the significance of the ophidian facts, emails, memoranda, codes, notes, obiter dicta, graphs, and figures which show that the climate warming doctrine -- especially with respect to the human contribution known as anthropogenic global warming -- is, at best, merely a hypothesis, and, at worst, an out-and-out fraud. Journalists and science commentators are scuttling madly from one side to the other of the theoretical cage they have built for themselves, saying on the one hand, yes, the stream of emerging details may appear to damage the warming thesis, but on the other hand, no, they are only a minor glitch in the great system of discovery and (presumably authentic) revelation. One should not, we are given to understand, pay too much attention to an ostensible cluster of offhand remarks by a clubby group of playful or impolitic scientists.

Nevertheless, as the fellow travelers, bloviating pundits, and collar-tightened scientists must intuitively realize, the game is up, for thousands of pages of incriminating data cannot be pretended away. And I suspect there is more to come. The viper of bitter truth slides remorselessly forward and will not be deterred by their evasive zigzags and the pitiable squeaks that are meant to pass for sober evaluation and discreet analysis. Ultimately, these are gestures of burrowing reinterpretation on the part of the impotently ensnared, which will not impress the advancing snake. They are in for a mega-bite.

Unless, of course, a miracle should occur, the cage door open, and an indulgent hand reach inside to rescue the hamsters from their plight, ensuring that the snake starves to death while the hamsters frolic in relief and gratitude. This, too, could happen. As we know all too well, there is more than one indulgent hand ready to perform an act of tender, self-interested, and hamster-friendly mercy.