Buzz Ballad: "Optimal"

"It's not optimal," said Obama

"It's not optimal at all---

We'd prefer they'd sacked the consulate

But that nobody would fall;

It was all planned, don't you see,

They'd take a hostage or two

And then I'd release the Blind Sheik

So that I could impress you;

Yes, I'd release the Blind Sheik

To ransom the Ambassador,

And then you'd be impressed by me

Even if you weren't before.

We were running munitions

From that house in Benghazi

So that Syrian insurgents

Could be armed more easily.

It was just like "Fast & Furious"

With a Middle Eastern twist

We wanted to build the Arab Spring

And help those who'd resist.

Yes, everything was marvelous

It all was most discreet

'Til those damn fools killed Stevens

And dragged him through the street

Now I must answer questions

About my armaments plan

And all I can do is stand here

And look like a girly man.

That's why I tried to lay the blame

Upon a video;

Taking responsibility

Is something I don't know.

So I will smile and try to find

Someone to take the fall;

Oh, no, it is not optimal

Not optimal at all."