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Bin Laden: Never a Master of Marketing

When he wasn’t coming up with clever new names for his merry band of murderers, Osama apparently spent a fair bit of time watching cable news shows. (Let’s not be too judgmental here, folks. Admit it… you do too.) And while some are disputing whether the comments originated from bin Laden himself or Adam Gadahn, the al-Qaeda leadership was apparently not much enamored of Fox News, but thought MSNBC was pretty good. (At least until they fired Olbermann.)

In that regard, Osama falls in line nicely with a majority of the Neilsen families in the United States, but it still presents something of a puzzle. Why would a Fox-hating fan of MSNBC be determined to kill Obama? It simply doesn’t make sense. Then again, most geniuses are fickle and have eclectic tastes I suppose.

Bin Laden was also very much in tune with American politics, which should come as no surprise. But while he was busily plotting to knock off not only Barack Obama, but General David Petraeus as well, guess who didn’t make the hit list? Joe Biden.

No, Osama wanted Joking Joe left safe and sound right where he is, and the reason will seem completely obvious in retrospect. With Obama out of the way, Biden would take charge and, as the now dead jihadist put it, he is “totally unprepared for that post, which will lead the US into a crisis.”

I bet Biden is just fuming over that one, and probably regretting the fact that he advised Obama not to go ahead with the mission. Just goes to show you, there’s no accounting for taste. But in any event, you can download and read the full text of all the documents here. Draw your own conclusions, but one thing seems clear. Osama bin Laden had a story arc which went from his being one of the richest and most powerful sheiks in the Arab world to one of the most feared terrorist leaders on the planet, but he ended his days much more like a nerd holed up in his mom’s basement playing World of Warcraft all night. A marketing genius he wasn’t.