Attn. Ron Paul: Forget Gold - It's the Apple Standard

Ron Paul has been warning us of the vagaries of the Fed and urging us to go back to the gold standard.

Feh. How old fashioned! What's gold anyway? Just some shiny stuff some people use to cap bad teeth. It can't even whistle "Dixie," let alone play the Beatles Songbook, The Godfather, make a Skype call and monitor your blood pressure all at the same time. That takes something of real value - like the iPhone.

And, boy, is it valuable. Apple just announced its profits went up a staggering 118% this quarter. Stock is over 450 at this moment, trading at record highs. The company has more money than the US Mint or any other mint. They're making products everyone in the world wants and they haven't even started producing a TV yet - although that is apparently about to happen. Look out everybody else. Why didn't they just give General Motors to Apple instead of wasting taxpayer dollars on that absurd bailout? They would have been producing the best cars in the world by now, instead of the hapless Volt.

So, Ron Paul, how about it? Why not base our currency on the real standard - Apple? Good-bye Alexander Hamilton. Hello, Steve Jobs.