All I Want for Christmas Is to Make Obama's Enemies List

I was too young and too obscure to make Richard Nixon's enemies list back in the day. Not yet out of my teens, my attendance at subversive rallies against the Vietnam War and my contributions to a wildly anti-Nixon publication at my high school we bravely called The Truth just weren't enough to bring me to the attention of Charles Colson. Thus, I never had a chance to get my name listed along with other great Americans like Ted Kennedy, Paul Newman, and Joe Namath.

I was a good little radical back then, mouthing all the idiocy we heard our elders spouting about evil corporations, evil conservatives, and the evil, evil military. Alas, the world passed me by and the one great opportunity of a lifetime to be recognized as an enemy of the state was lost.

Until now.

Having since grown up, gotten a job, and been disabused of the idea that there is, in fact, such a thing as a free lunch -- along with other magical ideas liberals hold -- you can imagine my delight when I heard that President Obama is going to be starting an enemies list of his own.

This time, I am absolutely determined to make the grade. Nothing will stand in my way. Come hell or high water, I am going to get my name on that list if I have to camp out in front of the office of Linda Douglass, communications director for the White House Office of Health Reform, until she slaps my moniker on that list just to get rid of me.

Douglass, who used to spout liberal agitprop for ABC News, now does something very similar for President Obama. Concerned that opponents of health care were disseminating information about the bill that fell outside the official White House-approved talking points, she made a nice little home video priming her charges for the work ahead. Then she had one of her flunkies ask the millions of Obamabots who still think their Dear Leader can do no wrong to report fellow citizens to the White House who weren't making approved statements about the president's plan:

Hi. I’m Linda Douglass. I’m the communications director for the White House Office of Health Reform, and one of my jobs is to keep track of all the disinformation that’s out there about health-insurance reform. And there are a lot of very deceiving headlines out there right now, such as this one -- take a look at this one. This one says, "Uncovered Video: Obama Explains How His Health Care Plan Will Eliminate Private Insurance."

Well, nothing can be farther from the truth. You know the people who always try to scare people whenever you try to bring them health-insurance reform are at it again. And they’re taking sentences and phrases out of context, and they’re cobbling them together to leave a very false impression. The truth is that the president has been talking to the American people a lot about health-insurance reform and what is at stake for them.

This was followed up with a note posted on the White House website from director of new media Macon Phillips:

On Monday, White House director of new media Macon Phillips posted a note on the White House web site complaining of "disinformation about health insurance reform." "These rumors often travel just below the surface via chain emails or through casual conversation," Phillips wrote. "Since we can't keep track of all of them here at the White House, we're asking for your help. If you get an email or see something on the web about health insurance reform that seems fishy, send it to [email protected]"

Whoa. "Casual conversation?" That covers a lot of ground, doesn't it? Of course, writing a blog and having articles published here on the Pajamas Media website already gives me an advantage over other opponents of health care reform. My problem will be finding a way to drop anti-health care reform bombs during the right kind of casual conversation so that I am reported to the White House with agreeable alacrity.

I suppose I could report myself, but where's the fun in that? Nope, I must seek out the most rabid Obama supporter I know and, during the course of a typical casual conversation, let loose with some doozies about how senior citizens are going to be marched off to euthanasia facilities under ObamaCare. Or how born babies will have to undergo a Spartan ritual examination to determine their fitness to survive under our nationalized health care system. Are they worthy of being included in our ObamaCare utopia? If not, it's over the cliff with them.