ACORN Stings: The Untold Story

The Sting: O'Keefe and Giles dressed up as the Joker and Catwoman and inquired at an ACORN office about help purchasing a base of operations from which they could plot to kill Batman.

The Result: The staffer was very happy to help stop a vigilante from beating up criminals, since most of their federal funds are designated for criminals.

The Sting: O'Keefe and Giles dressed up as Cobra Commander and the Baroness and pretended to want help with their paramilitary organization intent on conquering the world.

The Result: They were turned away after being told that ACORN was not currently helping violent radicals intent on overthrowing the government and to try again when a Republican is president.

The Sting: O'Keefe and Giles dressed up as Darth Vader and an Imperial Guard and approached an ACORN office for help hunting down Jedi and promoting the authority of the Empire throughout the galaxy.

The Result: At first, the ACORN staffer was unsure about supporting an evil galactic empire but changed her mind when she was assured the empire would support universal health care. She then shared a story of how she once killed a Jedi.

NOTE: Police looked into the claim and found that the staffer had never in fact killed a Jedi. The staffer later said she was intimidated by O'Keefe's supposed control of the Dark Side of the Force and thus made up the story.

The Sting: O'Keefe and Giles dressed up as space aliens and asked ACORN for help getting the public's obedience in exchange for advanced alien technology. They sheepishly admitted that the book they brought with them, To Serve Man, is actually a cookbook and that they ultimately planned to use humanity as a food source.

The Result: The staffer told them that ACORN is very experienced at getting people to accept something that seems beneficial but is ultimately harmful to the nation in the long run, pointing to their success in registering people to vote for Obama.

President Obama was asked whether he was concerned that, through ACORN, federal funds could go towards the enslavement and consumption of humanity, but he said that was "not the biggest issue facing the country." Certainly not when there are still tonsil-craving doctors out there.