5 Fill-in-the-Blank Forms Obama Could Use Repeatedly

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3. “The _______ jihad terror group is on the ropes.”

Obama has been saying since 2012 that al-Qaeda is on the ropes. But even though since then they have taken control of much of Libya and opened a new offensive on the Indian subcontinent, they are essentially passé – the old man’s jihad. The new and hip (can we still say “hip”?) jihadis are those of the Islamic State. Obama declared back in September that they had “already failed,” and this form will make future declarations of victory that much easier. New jihad groups are sure to arise and may even seize expanses of territory – why should Obama lose valuable time on the links to construct new statements about how they have been defeated, when each of these situations is so much like the last? This new template will take care of that.