The PJ Tatler

Lethal Cupcakes

So, I’m glad our education system has worked out its numerous problems in order to combat the “insensitivity” of having toy soldiers on cupcakes.  According to Gregory Gwyn-Williams, Jr. at CNS News, a third-grader in Michigan had his cupcakes removed because they had American soldiers on it.

The mother of the student, Casey Fountain told Fox News that the principal of the Schall Elementary School in the town of Caro, Michigan, called the cupcakes “insensitive” in light of the recent shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT.

Mr. Fountain says his wife delivered the cupcakes to the front office in the morning:

“About 15 minutes later the school called my wife and told her the couldn’t serve the cupcakes because the soldiers had guns,” Fountain told Fox News.

According to the report, Principal Susan Wright released a statement defending the decision:

“These are toys that were commonplace in the past,” she wrote. “However, some parents prohibit all guns as toys. In light of that difference, the school offered to replace the soldiers with another item and the soldiers were returned home with the student.”

“Living in a democratic society entails respect for opposing opinions,” she stated. “In the climate of recent events in schools we walk a delicate balance in teaching non-violence in our buildings and trying to ensure a safe, peaceful atmosphere.”

First, these aren’t toys “commonplace in the past.” Second, does Ms. Wright think that the soldiers will come alive, like in Toy Story, and hurt kids?  They’re toy soldiers! These incidents only highlight the foolishness of political correctness.  Williams added:

Unfortunately, this isn’t the first incident like this to be reported.

Just this week, a seven-year old elementary student was suspended for shaping a Pop-Tart into a gun.  In early February, a second-grader was suspended for playing “Rescue the World” and throwing a fake grenade at “evil forces.”  In January, a first-grader was suspended for making a gun gesture with his hand.

When did we become so soft? When did eating a Pop-Tart become an offense worthy of a school suspension?  So far, the vast majority of these incidents have happened to boys because this is what we do at this age.  As a boy, I remember vividly playing war, shooting toy guns, throwing clumps of dirt as grenades, and duct-taping sticks at the end of our fake rifles as bayonets.  Today, I would’ve been suspended, and had numerous “child psychologists” dissect me like a frog.

School shootings happen, and will continue to happen.  There are appropriate measures we can employ, such as hiring more armed guards and allowing teachers to carry firearms in schools, to prevent more Sandy Hooks. This nonsensical episode over toy soldiers on birthday cupcakes to prevent people’s feelings being hurt isn’t one of them.  Folks that thin-skinned shouldn’t be classified as human.

Lastly, the father of the third-grader was “disgusted” since the school “lump[ed] true American heroes with psychopathic killers.”