The PJ Tatler

Hellfire Missiles (Not) Coming Soon to a Café Near You

It took weeks and a political “root canal,” but Eric Holder has at long last admitted that the President doesn’t have the legal authority to launch a Hellfire missile into Starbucks if one of the baristas has a funny beard and a map.

What a relief.

The question we should be asking however is: Why are we even talking about this in the first place? How did we sink so low as a purportedly free people, that it was ever an issue that the President might have some kind of secret Assassination Power emanating from the Constitution’s various penumbras?

It’d be like watching SportsCenter on ESPN to catch the latest hockey scores, when suddenly Lindsay Czarniak and John Anderson break out with a multimedia presentation on the history of interpretive dance, and how it paralleled the growth of modern jazz.

Why are they talking about this???

So kudos to Rand Paul (with assists from Ted Cruz, Mike Lee, and Rob Wyden) for taking the issue off the table. Before the table gets blowed up good.

And a big, loud, wet raspberry to John McCain and Lindsey Graham, for being the two biggest jerks in the Department of Not Getting It.

Anyone back there in South Carolina have any idea who to primary against Graham in 2014? McCain I believe will retire at the end of his term, but Graham needs to get primaried, good and hard. C’mon, Tea Party — show us what you’ve got.