The PJ Tatler

Breaking: Woodward Was a Nixon Stooge, Broke Into Watergate Himself

It happened faster than McDonald’s changes its menu from breakfast to lunch, capturing the unsuspecting customer off guard: the media-class has euthanized Bob Woodward like a rabid pitbull. He is now old and senile. Not a very good reporter anyway. Never was. He made up that conversation with Bill Casey in his book about the CIA. His books were written by ghostwriters, in fact. He’s on the Breitbart payroll. He’s not even real: the name Bob Woodward is a pseudonym, an alternate identity that Henry Kissinger set up in the late 60s. Bob Woodward engineered the secret bombing of Cambodia. In fact, we’ve just learned that Woodward was the one who broke into DNC headquarters, then covered it up by making himself lead reporter on the case to alter all the evidence. Carl Bernstein is actually Marty Peretz in a wig. It was part of the lead up to the October surprise to get Reagan elected by funneling money to the Iranians in exchange for hostages.

By the way, the media are cackling like well fed hens that the emails between Woodward and Gene Sperling are not threatening. But no one seems to be focusing on Sperling’s opening line: “I apologize for raising my voice in our conversation today.” Why was Sperling yelling at Woodward? What else was said? How professional is it for White House officials to be badgering reporters or yelling at them in any way, especially Bob Woodward? Even if it wasn’t a true threat, who does Sperling think he is? And if he has the temerity to yell at Bob Woodward, who else has he intimidated into silence? We already have the sense that the White House has done this before. Even Lanny Davis is upset. When you start a sentence with “Even Lanny Davis…” you know something’s up, and it isn’t his former boss’s you-know-what.