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Conservatives Are Boobs When it Comes to Pop Culture

Look, no one loves a good nude scene more than I do, but the truth is: forcing young professional women to expose themselves in order to get acting jobs is degrading and unnecessary. Weak, sinful hypocrite that I am, I'll watch those scenes again and again, but even I understand: there's not one nude scene in motion pictures that is dramatically essential. Not one. They are all there for reasons of prurience and exploitation, every one of them. They take abusive advantage of actresses' desperate need for work, love, and attention in order to give drooling, demented old curmudgeons like me a cheap thrill. And once a girl does one, it's online forever. Believe me — I know where to find them! And the actress's parents, sweethearts, husband, and children know where to find them too.

The only reason the left complained about MacFarlane's song was the same reason they complain about any piece of public discourse: it exposed the truth about their lousy, hyper-sexualized values and practices. Look at the faces of Naomi Watts and Charlize Theron when MacFarlane sang about them:

Now look at the face of Jennifer Lawrence when MacFarlane's song mentioned that she had never exposed herself in a movie:

Which of these ladies looks proud and which look ashamed? [I should add, in answer to the comments below, that this was, of course, filmed earlier as part of the Captain Kirk routine, but the idea of the song is that the women who exposed themselves are ashamed by MacFarlane's tactlessness. That's what the left is so upset about -- the joke is true.]

Criticize the song??? The right should've posted the bloody song on every website we have! We should have said: Hey, ladies, if it makes you feel bad when someone publicly talks about what you publicly do — guess what? Don't do it! Do something else instead! Maybe treat your bodies with dignity and respect — the way you'll want your daughters to treat their bodies. The way men ought to treat them.

MacFarlane's humor did one of the very things that good humor is supposed to do. It told the truth about an accepted practice that is morally absurd. As right wingers dedicated to moral truth, we should have used the moment to pleasantly and sweetly drive the point home.

But when it comes to pop culture, we're just too damned stupid.