Klavan On The Culture

Gears of War 3

Gears of War: Where Even The Girls are Men!

This is one of my favorite series of video games. More than anything, it was the amazingly intuitive controls that made the first one such a leap forward. Once you mastered the buttons, you could run, duck, cover, fire and reload seamlessly, creating what video game reviewers are always calling an “immersive experience.” No doubt.

As for the story…  well, as I began this final piece of the trilogy, I played the video that reminded you of what happened in the first two games. To paraphrase only slightly, the narrator essentially said, “The aliens invaded and we killed them; then they invaded again and we killed some more of them. Now they’re back!” Fair enough. Let’s do it.

While I had a great time playing this, I’d probably rank it the least of the three, the first being the best. The makers, I thought, were resting on their laurels. The first one had those great new controls. The second one had some creative new combat situations. This one was essentially a reiteration of the others—still great fun, but nothing new.

Still, there were all the usual GOW pleasures. Ugly monsters that blow up good when you kill them, beautiful scenery, and relationships so macho that even the girls had deeper voices than I do.

Sorry to see this story end, but hoping Santa brings the new Batman and Uncharted games for Christmas. Love Santa.