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Progracists

May 8th, 2013 - 12:51 pm

What are “progracists”?

Progracists are people who continually classify individuals by “race” and yet can’t see how that is racist.

Progracists hate Martin Luther King Jr.’s dream of an America in which people “will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character,” because progressive policies are based on race consciousness, ethnic division, and identity politics.

Progracists keep minorities addicted to government benefits and entitlements specifically to make sure they remain poor and economically enslaved, and therefore a reliable voting bloc.

Progracists always seek to restrict everyone‘s freedoms because they think that’s the only way to stop minorities from misbehaving — at least the only way to control minorities without looking like you’re targeting them specifically.

Progracists call Americans “cowards” for not discussing race enough; but when we do discuss it, they call us racists.

Progracists still promote “affirmative action” policies even half a century after racial discrimination was outlawed in schools because progressives racistly think minorities will never be smart enough to get into college on their own merits.

Progracists routinely spew blatant racist slurs at any blacks who have conservative opinions, openly calling them “house niggers,” “Uncle Toms,” and so on, and yet somehow continue to imagine that they themselves would never be perceived as racist for doing so.

Progracists think black mothers are too ignorant to know how to feed their own children, so progracists pass nanny-state laws dictating what is allowable to eat.

Progracists want to ban standardized tests because progracists think black people are too stupid to pass them.

Progracists don’t want you to remember that the Progressive Movement originally promoted eugenics as a way to weed out “undesirables” from society, including and especially minorities and the mentally handicapped.

Progracists never condemn blatant racism exhibited by fellow progracists.

Progracists intentionally gutted the American education system because they believed that only by dumbing down school could they eliminate the racial “achievement gap.”

Progracists implement blatantly unfair “set-aside” policies which guarantee lucrative government contracts to otherwise under-qualified minority-owned businesses — only to then award those contracts to sham companies with token minority figureheads, further enriching the white progressives who actually own the companies.

Progracists governing white-dominated universities and corporations often foreground minorities in their promotional materials, allegedly to encourage “diversity” and tempt more minorities to apply, but in reality to disguise just how all-white their organizations really are.

Progracists gasp in horror at Rudyard Kipling’s notion of “The White Man’s Burden,” completely oblivious to the fact that every modern liberal do-gooder cause is a direct descendant of Kipling’s call to action.

Progracists deem “Islamophobic” anyone who tries to rescue Muslim women from an oppressive culture, because progracists simply don’t care about Muslim women.

Progracists facilitate and justify inner-city violence and unrest, hoping to use minority criminals as unwitting shock troops to destabilize society and thereby pave the way for a progressive totalitarian state — but in the process make life miserable for all the law-abiding minorities in ravaged neighborhoods.

Progracists don’t want you to know that the progressive hero Margaret Sanger sought to legalize abortion specifically to reduce the population of minorities in America, as part of a eugenics program to protect the racial purity of whites.

The “soft racism” of progressives’ lowered expectations for minorities ends up being more pernicious and corrosive than their formerly upfront racism because back then they were at least honest about it.

Progressive hero and Democratic president Lyndon Baines Johnson once explained his rationale for addicting African-Americans to welfare and government handouts by saying “I’ll have those niggers voting Democratic for the next 200 years.”

Democrat Woodrow Wilson was the first progressive president — and he also introduced racial segregation and Jim Crow laws to Washington DC, claiming segregation was beneficial to blacks because otherwise they would be out-competed by superior whites; he even used the White House to promote the film Birth of a Nation and especially its glorification of the Ku Klux Klan; despite all this (or perhaps because of it), Wilson remains an iconic hero to modern progracists.

After progressive Delaware Senator Joe Biden described Barack Obama as the “first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean,” Obama actually invited Biden to be his Vice President.

Shortly before he made the seamless transition from Klan leader to progressive politician, Democratic Senator Robert Byrd said, “Rather I should die a thousand times, and see Old Glory trampled in the dirt never to rise again, than to see this beloved land of ours become degraded by race mongrels, a throwback to the blackest specimen from the wilds.”

Progracist journalist Mike Wallace once said on camera that blacks and Hispanics were too busy eating “watermelons and tacos” to read the fine print on their insurance policies.

In an attempt to decrease the number of minority babies being born, progracists go to extreme lengths to make contraception available to girls at younger and younger ages, since black and Hispanic girls are getting pregnant at a much higher rate than girls of other races, threatening the progracists’ white majority.

Progracists promote open borders and mass immigration not for any humanitarian concerns about poor people in foreign countries but only because they see new immigrants as a huge voting bloc to keep progressives in power.

Progressives never criticize black entertainers for constantly using the “n-word” because progracists hold blacks to a lower social standard than everyone else.

Progracists want you to forget that some historians have defined the Ku Klux Klan as “the terrorist wing of the Democratic Party.”

Progracists think minorities in urban areas are too irresponsible to stop littering, so progressive-dominated local governments want to ban plastic bags for everyone even though most people don’t litter.

A growing number of African-Americans believe that progracists want to make abortion freely available to poor minorities specifically to commit slow-motion genocide of the black community.

Progracists always accuse everyone else of racism to deflect attention from their own racist policies and beliefs.

Barack Obama is an addict. And his drug of choice is the money showered on him by Bay Area billionaires.

The lure of endless cash and boundless adoration is just too much to resist, and so for the umpteenth time since 2008 he once again scheduled a fundraising trip through San Francisco, this time on April 3 to benefit Nancy Pelosi and her quest to reclaim the Speakership of the House: since Obama himself no longer needs campaign donations, all the money gathered on this trip would go to Democratic congressional candidates.

As soon as Obama’s Bay Area fundraisers were announced, activist groups began to schedule protests. But in the post-2012 era, none of these groups were conservative; instead, the protesters were all challenging Obama from the left, in an attempt to sway his policies ever more leftward.

The largest of the protests was announced by CREDO Action (along with the Sierra Club, Friends of the Earth, and others) to oppose the Keystone XL pipeline, a long-planned project to pipe heavy crude oil from Canada’s immense “tar sands” oil fields to refineries in the United States. Building the Keystone pipeline extension would go a long way toward making North America energy-independent and not as reliant on Middle East oil; but detractors (such as CREDO) oppose anything that benefits the oil economy, since usage of petroleum-based energy sources adds greenhouse gases to the atmosphere.

This protest’s sponsor particularly aroused my interest because my very own parents are CREDO Mobile customers, and send ungodly sums of money to CREDO every month to pay for their scandalously overpriced cell phone service.

What is CREDO, you may ask? Well, in blunt terms, CREDO is a political activist group/phone company/SuperPAC/credit card brand/lobbyist/protest movement/for-profit enterprise which derives its income from reselling other companies’ phone and credit services to lazy and gullible progressives who are tired of thinking for themselves (such as my parents). The scheme works like this: CREDO buys Sprint/Nextel cell phone minutes in massive blocks, rebrands the Sprint service as “CREDO” service, then jacks up the price, and then resells it to willing suckers at sky-high charges.

Why in the world would any customer participate in this scam? Because CREDO uses all of its profits to aggressively promote left-wing causes. So, signing up for CREDO “phone service” is actually just an automatic way to essentially donate your money on a monthly basis to a progressive activist group. But CREDO is itself not a nonprofit (although it donates some small percentage of its income to left-wing nonprofit groups); instead, CREDO uses whatever money remains after paying its management and employees handsome salaries to directly engage in political activism of various sorts, almost all of it at the extreme left edge of “progressive.”


For people like my parents who are too old to keep track of the latest progressive fads and manias, but still want to feel relevant, CREDO provides a simple effortless mechanism to drain your bank account and give it to younger activists who presumably know what’s hip, politics-wise. And if you’re lucky enough to live in the Protest Regions, you can actually go hold up signs and chant at CREDO-approved events (as in the photo above featuring typical CREDO customers at Wednesday’s protest).

Anyway, just out of curiosity to see how my family fortune was being spent, I decided to check out how CREDO Action (CREDO’s street protest arm) operates.


Obama’s fundraising swing through San Francisco on April 3 would bring him to two separate events: One at his favorite SF hangout, the Getty mansion on Billionaires’ Row at 2870 Broadway in Pacific Heights, and immediately prior to that “a $5,000-per-person cocktail reception at the home of Kat Taylor and Tom Steyer,” who just happens to also be a billionaire and big-league Democratic donor. Now, the address of the Steyer/Taylor home was never given in any of the press releases about the events, so the media (along with me and obviously several other people) spent about 15 seconds on Google to uncover Steyer and Taylor’s address at 3030 Pacific Avenue, which, visible as the grey-and-white house at lower left in the photo above, turns out to be just a few yards from the Getty mansion (yellow-and-white, upper right).

It was therefore entirely logical to assume that Obama and the wealthy donors would start at one home and then likely walk the few yards downhill to the other one. Turns out, however, that we all got it wrong.


I knew from long experience tracking Obama through his many visits to the San Francisco cash machine that the streets around any location he’s scheduled to visit are blocked off. So I expected the 3000 block of Pacific to be closed to traffic; and yet when I showed up, the street was not only open, but there were media vans parked directly in front of the Steyer/Taylor home, and a small band of early protesters just steps away, unmonitored on the corner. I knew immediately that things were not going as expected.


I loitered around the media vans and chatted up some of the technicians, who willingly dished all the gossip. They said that all afternoon there had been caterers going in and out of the house at 3030 Pacific, and gardeners sprucing up the front, and this lured even more media to the block. But suddenly, about an hour before I showed up, the preparations had abruptly stopped, and word came in that the entire operation had been a ruse to trick media to set up camp in front of the wrong location. Turns out that Tom Steyer and Kat Taylor own another house a couple miles away in the Seacliff neighborhood which was the actual secret location of the cocktail reception. Sneaky! Even though the misdirection entailed twice the logistics, necessitating the securing of two separate neighborhoods instead of one, apparently Obama’s security team routinely engages in such convoluted deceptions to throw everyone off-base.


Yet the nearby streets leading to Billionaires’ Row on the 2900 block of Broadway were indeed blocked off, meaning the Getty event was still a go, so even though we protesters and media were disappointed that we couldn’t get a closeup view of the cocktail reception, at this late stage everyone decided we might as well hang around here and continue with the protest as planned for the main Getty fundraiser later in the evening.


Out of habit, I looped back around to a secret vantage point I had discovered during one of Obama’s earlier visits, and sure enough I was able to get a clear view of what I call the Presidential Tent being set up in front of the Getty mansion. This is the protocol for every Obama visit anywhere: His limousine will arrive at its destination, and enter into this special tent; the curtains will then be drawn, and he will exit the vehicle unseen, and travel along an enclosed tent walkway directly into whichever building he’s entering. Not for one second will he be exposed to the outside world.


By the time I got back to the protest zone at Pacific and Baker, the main political contingents had already arrived. The guy with the black hat and glasses was the Team Leader (or Alinsky-in-Chief, as I called him) of the Credo Action anti-Keystone crowd.


Over the next hour the crowd swelled from less than a hundred to nearly a thousand, as various mini-marches and regional groups arrived from every direction.


Eventually we took over the entire intersection next to Tom Steyer’s empty house. Whoopee!

Here’s where things get confusing. Try to wrap your brain around this:

Tom Steyer is a billionaire — but he’s a left-wing billionaire who just happens to be the primary deep-pockets funder behind the anti-Keystone XL movement. He is hosting Obama for a multi-million-dollar fundraiser, and has Obama’s ear. Furthermore, Obama himself at least mouths the verbiage of the anti-oil agenda, endlessly talking about “sustainable energy” and breaking our addiction to oil. The wealthy Democratic donors coo and purr and go along with whatever Steyer and Obama say. So it would seem that everybody inside the fundraiser is already opposed to the Keystone XL pipeline. But out on the streets are a thousand protesters demanding that…the president oppose the pipeline??!?!? But wait, that doesn’t make sense when we think of the traditional definition of a protest. In this instance, everybody on all sides of the “dispute” are already in complete agreement.

So what’s going on here? I discovered the surprising answer a short time later. Keep reading to learn the solution to The Mystery of Why Obama-Loving Progressives Are Pretending to Protest Against Him.


Across the street was a much smaller but relentlessly dedicated squadron of anti-drone activists from World Can’t Wait, an offshoot of the Revolutionary Communist Party who are far and away the most aggressive and persistent professional protest group in the Bay Area. They can almost always be easily identified by signs and outfits in their signature color of orange, derived from the color of the prison uniforms at Guantanamo Bay.

Unlike just about every other group here, they are unapologetically anti-Obama, merely because he now represents America and they are against anything American. They oppose all American presidents, on principle.

Interestingly, in the listing they posted for this protest (http://www.indybay.org/newsitems/2013/03/22/18734078.php), World Can’t Wait used a photo from and linked to my zombietime report about Obama’s first visit to Billionaires’ Row in 2008. Is that weird or what?


In addition to the anti-Keystone pipeline protest and the separate anti-drone protest, there was actually a third distinct protest officially scheduled that day: anti-Obamacare. This is the protest I had decided ahead of time to join up with, although if I had known how small this particular group was going to be (there were only about 25 of us as far as I could tell), I might have chosen differently. All the protests quickly merged anyway, luckily.

Of course, I was protesting Obamacare for being a backdoor to socialism, whereas they were protesting Obamacare for not nearly being socialist enough, but at least we agreed that it was one big mess, and were allies of a sort — the enemy of my enemy is my friend, as it were.


These kind of public street protests have been common since the 1960s, and in all that time no one seems to have grasped their fundamental flaw: that protests almost always backfire because the organizers usually can’t control the messaging. So, for example, if some random guy shows up and displays an upside-down American flag, then it will look to passersby and media consumers as if your whole protest is anti-American. And frankly, if you allow such messaging at your protest, then you deserve whatever associations come with it, since by allowing it to stand then you apparently must be OK with it.

Imagine a counter-example: What would happen if a guy showed up at this protest wearing a KKK hood and carrying a big sign that said “Segregation Forever!”? Obviously he’d be kicked out of the protest, if not by the organizers then by the participants. So the corollary to this scenario is that any message you allow to stand in your protest will be perceived by observers to have your stamp of approval. Thus, if some freelance protester shows up unbidden with an anti-American message, yet the fellow protesters and organizers do nothing to quash the message, then they rightfully own the message as well, and whatever approval or condemnation from observers that comes with that ownership.


If someone at a Tea Party rally had held up a sign featuring the words “Obama” and “tar baby,” we’d see headlines screaming “Racist Tea Party Uses Racist Slur Against Obama!!!!!” But when such signs appear at left-wing rallies: Silence.

Of course, you, I, and the woman who made this sign know that the term “tar baby” is a merely metaphor for an intractable problem that only gets worse the more you fiddle with it, and is based on a character in the Uncle Remus stories — an actual doll made of sticky tar created to ensnare Br’er Rabbit. This literary reference was well-known and universally accepted as non-offensive until fairly recently. But (especially since 2008) race-baiters who know absolutely nothing of the term’s literary origins have decided that the term “tar baby” sounds racist, therefore it must be a racial insult, even though few if any actual racists ever used the term until the overly sensitive PC Squad declared it verboten — which predictably became a self-fulfilling prophecy as racists then adopted “tar baby” as an epithet just to piss off their opponents.

The woman with the sign, old enough to only know of “tar baby”‘s metaphorical meaning and therefore unaware of the cultural war over its purported racial overtones, just stood there obliviously.

What made it all especially funny was that the protest — as are all environmental protests — was whiter than an overexposed photo of a jar of mayonnaise in a snowstorm, yet the rally’s single solitary African-American participant stood directly behind her, glaring at the camera.


Credo Action’s protest style is entirely media-centric: Unlike perhaps more naive activist groups, Credo understands that the protest itself is meaningless — all that matters is the media coverage of the protest. The organizers made this perfectly clear in their online strategizing and on-site shouted instructions: pose for the cameras, try to make the crowd look as big as possible, occupy strategic intersections, and so on. But throughout all this the protesters were of course supposed to pretend that they were there to “send a message to Obama and his donors.” Unfortunately, they didn’t think it through very well, and I’m not sure any media consumers were fooled. For example, in this photo, the Presidential Tent is visible in the background in front of the Getty mansion. Now, if you really wanted to send a message directly to Obama and the wealthy attendees, you’d turn your banner around and have it face toward the tent so they could see it. But no — that’s not the goal. The goal is to be perceived by the media as trying to send a message to Obama; and to that end, you face the banner outwards so the cameras can see what it says.


Another bonehead move is to pose for souvenir photos in front of the media trucks. Look! I’m on TV! Sorta.


Remember: Nobody says “global warming” anymore. To even mouth those words marks you as a reactionary fascist. “Global warming” was briefly replaced by “climate change,” but even that has by now been relegated to the Dustbin of Yesterday’s Political Terminology. No, my friends, to successfully self-identify as progressive these days, you must say “climate chaos.” Actually, that’s wrong too, because to say it properly you must either append an exclamation mark or make it all capitals: CLIMATE CHAOS. (!!!!!!!!) As you can see from the banner, CLIMATE CHAOS causes droughts and floods, hurricanes and fires, because everything is in CHAOS! And it’s all caused by oil and profit.


CLIMATE CHAOS, in the form of a stiff breeze, even wrought havoc during the protest itself, almost blowing over one of the CLIMATE CHAOS banners, proving conclusively that CLIMATE CHAOS exists.


What will come next after CLIMATE CHAOS? I predict the most fearsome man-made meteorological phenomenon of all: Climate Stasis.

Can the Earth survive Climate Stasis? Imagine the horror, if you dare, of complete atmospheric stagnation, of no seasons, nothing ever changing, no wind, sailboats stranded mid-ocean, pollution building up around cities as the air stops circulating, and every regions’s weather always remaining the same! The horror!


Does anyone fall for the ol’ charismatic megafauna gag any more? Especially since the predictions that global warming was driving the polar bear to extinction have all proven to be false as their population continues to grow year by year?

But facts mean nothing when confronted by the tragic indisputable reality that A POLAR BEAR IS CRYING!!!@!!

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1 Billion Rising San Francisco

February 15th, 2013 - 4:08 pm


February 14 used to be Valentine’s Day, but this year Eve Ensler hijacked the date to mark the climax of her worldwide anti-rape dance/protest known as 1 Billion Rising. I attended the San Francisco 1 Billion Rising rally, where “dancing is a revolution.”


When I first showed up at Civic Center Plaza, right in the middle of the protest someone was holding up a big sign with a Bible quote.

Oh wait, did I say Bible? My bad. I meant the Qu’ran. Silly me. Everyone knows that the Bible is anti-woman; thus it would be inappropriate to quote it at a feminist rally.


I thought perhaps her central location was a fluke, but I couldn’t have been wronger; the organizers then positioned Ms. Qu’ran and her sign directly behind the podium as the event’s keynote speaker and 1 Billion Rising top honcho Susan Celia Swan gave a speech (seen here with Supervisors David Chiu, Scott Wiener, and Jane Kim).


Then when San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee (with the grey hair and glasses) came to the podium, she was positioned directly behind him as well, in THE prime messaging spot.


Yes, that’s correct: This wasn’t just a protest in front of San Francisco City Hall, it ended up being essentially an official act of government, as Mayor Ed Lee declared his endorsement of the action…


…along with the entire Board of Supervisors, most of whom gave speeches as well. Which is not really surprising, since most of them are to the left of Lenin, but still.


To blend in with the crowd, I picked up one of the many unused signs scattered about for participants to use.


The 1 Billion Rising event organizers had a tent in which participants were handed blank signs that read “I am RISING because…” and you filled out the rest. People could then either carry their personalized messages with them, or display them in a sort of gallery in a nearby tent. The example sign at the sign-up table said “I’m PISSED at the Oppressions!”

But despite the organizers’ valiant attempt at “message control,” as soon as you let people say whatever they want, things very quickly go off the rails. A brief visit to the gallery tent revealed some odd beliefs, such as…


“I am RISING because PG&E SmartMeters can explode, burn my house shatter my shoulder but can’t shatter my SPIRIT!”


“I am RISING because We must fight not to grow anymore Rapist. Heal Them with the power of Love Love!”


“I am RISING because I am a mother and my dauqntes will not live in fear!”


“The Drama Has to Stop!” Indeed. Couldn’t agree more.


The organizers posted a sign of their own at the front on the tent, essentially summarizing the Enslerite ethos:
“VAGINA is not a dirty word. Being a woman is a wondeful, beautiful thing!”


But most messages at 1 Billion Rising protests inevitably end up being what I call TTTs: Trite Tautological Truisms. This “protest sign” is a prototypical example. “Violence Sucks.” Wow! Bold notion. In other news, the nation’s physicists held a rally today to insist that “Gravity Attracts.”

The main problem I have with 1 Billion Rising and V-Day and SlutWalk and all the rest is that they are purposeless — protests “against” a non-existent strawman. The only legitimate rationale behind having any kind of political protest is to support one side or the other in a contested ideological battle. But in this case, we’re protesting against rape, even though there is nobody in this country who supports rape.

Sure, there are rapists out there, but I kinda get the feeling none would go to a rally like this to have their minds changed, and they sure as hell don’t care what a bunch of protesters have to say on the topic (presuming on the off-chance that a rapist would ever hear of events like these, which is extremely doubtful). Rapists already know that rape is “wrong,” but somehow that knowledge never dissuaded them in the past. Furthermore, there already are laws against rape and sexual abuse — laws with amongst the most severe punishments in our legal system. So: everybody (except for psychopaths) already hates rape. Rape is already as illegal as it can be. Rape is universally loathed. What more do you want?


Another TTT: “Rape Is Unacceptale” (sic). Was this ever in dispute? Can you find anyone, anywhere — at least in the Western World — who disagrees? Then what’s the purpose of stating it? Maybe at the next protest I will hold up a sign with the controversial daring manifesto: “Ice Is Cold.”


Another shocking claim.


The purpose of all this, the organizers might contend, is simply to get people to “Think About It,” as this Riser suggests. Yeah, OK, so I’ve thought about it: Rape is bad. Yep. Baddy bad bad. Now what?

All of this would make sense if there was a concerted drive on the part of the protesters to increase law enforcement efforts against rape and rapists. Stricter laws, longer sentences, more police officers, and so forth. Even I might get behind that.

But no.

Instead, some of the protesters demanded the exact opposite:


Ignore Their Laws: Respect Each Other” was the largest message in the rally’s street-chalking area. Presumably written by an extremely naive anarchist-leaning Riser, the thrust seems to be: We hate society and reject its laws, so to be consistent we have to reject laws against rape too: but despite that, we should all behave nicely anyway, because it’s the right thing to do. The problem with this, and with the entire anarchist worldview, and with the futility of 1 Billion Rising in general, is that there are bad people who will do bad things regardless of how many encouragements and blandishments you give them. This has been true since the dawn of history. And that fact — that bad people always violate social norms and moral dictates — is why legal systems evolved in the first place. Rapists don’t listen to reason, they can’t be shamed into stopping, so the only way to deal with them is to make rape illegal, convict them of the crime, lock them in prison AND THROW AWAY THE KEY.

But anarchists don’t want to hear that. They think, falsely, because anarchists are stupid, that people only misbehave because they exist in a rigidly structured, rule-bound, hierarchical society, and that if we only lived in pure free anarchy, then there would be no anger, and thus no misbehavior and everything would be peachy keen. Of course, in reality, any society-wide social experiment along these lines would last about 48 hours before everyone demanded the return of law enforcement.


But not at 1 Billion Rising. Here, cops are the enemy (at least to some of the participants).


Later, I saw traces of chalk messaging battles, so at least there was some disagreement: First someone wrote “Fuck the Police,” then a dissenter came along and tried to alter the message by changing “Fuck” to “Sp♡ok.” Yet another person came along and re-added “Fuck” in red above the message, to once again reaffirm “Fuck the Police.” And to make matters even more odd, when I tried to take a picture of it, some of the very people who likely wrote the message tried to block me by standing on it.


You see buddy, you aren’t the problem. You’re not a rapist. Any sane non-rapist man is “creating a culture of consent.” Policemen create a culture of consent. Old-fashioned values create a culture of consent. “Patriarchy” is a leftist canard dredged up from history as an excuse to overthrow existing society. Come to think of it, you are a problem, but that’s a different discussion.

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On January 26, two diametrically opposed ideologies chose San Francisco as their battleground. To our left, the pro-choice army convened at the city’s Embarcadero to celebrate the 40th anniversary of Roe v. Wade (which formally legalized abortion throughout the United States); to our right, the pro-life army convened for its ninth annual Walk for Life (the largest anti-abortion event on the West Coast).

What happened when the two armies clashed?


Did the “misogynist Christo-Fascists” triumph?


Or did the “racist baby lynchers” prevail?

The answer can be found in that old ’60s slogan, “What if they gave a war and nobody came?” Because while huge numbers of people did indeed show up, the two camps studiously avoided each other. Well, that’s not entirely true: The main army of about 1,000 leftists put on a little show to amuse themselves and then basically fled the field of battle before the vastly more numerous pro-life crowd even started marching. Only a handful of leftists stayed around to confront their opponents, but they drowned in a sea of 50,000 pro-lifers. (Yes, it was that lopsided.)

Along the way, we were treated to scenes like this:

[Pro-choice woman haranguing pro-life marchers:]

Get your vaginal probe out of my vagina!
Get your crucifix out of my uterus!
Oh yeah, the truth hurts!
What are you teaching your little children? How to make women DIE???
Get your crucifix out of my uterus!
Get your crucifix out of my uterus!
Get your crucifix out of my uterus!
Get your vaginal probe out of my vagina!
Get your crucifix out of my vagina!
Get your vaginal probe out of my vagina!
That’s disgusting! What are you looking around for?
Vaginas!
Uteruses!
Get your crucifix out of my vagina!
Get your crucifix out of my vagina.
Get your crucifix out of my uterus!
Get your vaginal probe out of my vagina!
Get your vaginal probe out of my vagina!
Get the cross out of my…uterus.
Get your crucifix out of my uterus!
Oh, a t-shirt: We wouldn’t want you to learn anything!
Vaginal probes out of my vagina!
Get your crucifix out of my uterus!

But wait — we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Let’s go back to the beginning of the day and see what happened at each stop along the way.


I was lured to the Embarcadero by announcements from various feminist groups that there was to be a major rally on January 26 to celebrate the 40th anniversary of Roe v. Wade. Especially exciting was the planned “flash mob performance” to “end violence and sexual oppression.” But when I first got there it was nothing much more than a few hundred people standing around holding paper bags with seemingly off-topic messages like “33% of women in prison report childhood SEXUAL ABUSE.” What this had to do with abortion was anyone’s guess.


After a while, a parade of local politicians took to the stage to support abortion rights. Here we have Scott Wiener, a gay city supervisor who recently made international headlines (and infuriated some of his constituents) when he proposed the first-ever city-wide ban on nudity. Behind him we have none other than Sandra Fluke, the wealthy 31-year-old college student who has so much sex she can’t afford to pay for her own contraception. Or at least so she falsely claimed in an attempt to make a political point during congressional hearings. Even though nobody actually believed her ridiculous calculations, it instantly made her a hero to the left and a laughingstock to the right, and now she spends her days giving speeches at feminist events like this one. Does it really matter what she had to say here at RvW40? No, it didn’t. Her mere presence was the point, a statement in itself.


Some participants carried a banner saying “Good women have abortions,” which is either a very bold assertion, or some poorly mangled grammar, or a too-clever attempt to intentionally craft a message with several possible interpretations. I vote for option three. If an offended pro-lifer were to look at the banner and say, “Are you implying that the mere act of having an abortion makes someone a good person, and by extension that not having an abortion makes one a bad woman?”, then the liberal with the sign would reply, “No, you silly conservative, all we’re saying is that having an abortion doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a bad person; good people can have abortions and remain good people.” But as the conservative walks away, intellectually defeated, the liberal snickers, “Ha ha! Fooled you. We are indeed saying that abortions make you good. And we’re getting away with it, because our message is so ambivalently worded that we can always deny it to your face should you ever try to pin us down!”


I kept seeing the same message at various parts of the rally, this time at the NOW booth. I wasn’t sure if the same banner was being passed around, or if the organizers had several printed up.


As several people already noted on Twitter, Code Pink showed up at this event wearing the same giant vagina costumes that gained them so much notoriety at last year’s Democratic convention.


I was hoping to see them do the vagina dance, but (as we will soon see) when the pre-arranged flash-mob dance started, the costumed Code Pinkers alas didn’t participate and instead just stood in the audience.


A short time later I saw one of the abandoned vagina costumes lying on the ground, and I was sorely tempted to borrow it for a few minutes, put it on, and go become a vagina dancer myself. But, as usual, I chickened out. “Don’t be a pussy!” my conscience yelled at me, but the mixed message only made me more conflicted.


Various communist groups, like these humorless Bolsheviks, drifted through the crowd.


As usual, liberals freely allow extreme revolutionary communists to set up booths at their events, and no one complains and the media will not comment on this practice. Yet imagine if the reverse was true: that conservatives allowed, say, neo-Nazis to set up booths at their events. First of all, it would never happen, as the conservatives would ban them and/or boot them out instantly, for if they allowed the extremists to contaminate their events, the media would trumpet the presence of the neo-Nazis and tar the whole movement with them. But when (as it always does) the exact same thing happens on the liberal side — silence.

Note also in the photo above that amongst the communist books on sale at this pro-choice rally was Friedrich Engels’ The Origin of the Family, Private Property and the State, one of the fundamental building blocks of the left’s anti-family philosophy. In this seminal tome, Engels argues that the nuclear family is a modern invention designed to oppress women, and that group marriage or polyamory or free love are superior social structures, and that capitalism can only be destroyed by first destroying the traditional family. Just in case you thought this “pro-choice” thing was actually about “choice” or any other idiotic progressive euphemism. The left’s ultimate purpose for making abortion legal is to facilitate promiscuity so as to destroy sexual fidelity and along with it the sanctity of the nuclear family, paving the way for socialist revolution. Perhaps the average foot-soldier in the pro-choice camp isn’t aware of this, but the leaders at the highest echelons of the movement surely must be.


This sign is actually a fascinating logical paradox. The statement can only be true for one generation. If you start in the first generation with a fetus, and then it grows up into a “woman for choice,” then that woman gets pregnant, and being a woman for “choice,” she then chooses to abort the second-generation fetus, which does not grow up to be a woman for choice, because it does not grow up at all. Even if some women choose to not abort later-generation fetuses under this signs’s scenario, the population of each pro-choice generation will decrease in comparison to a separate pro-life group, in which all fetuses will come to term.

Some game theory problems can only be solved by setting some original parameters and then letting the simulation play itself out through many iterations. It’d like to see a computer scientist devise a schematized real-world “game” which incorporates the various parameters in the abortion debate and let it run for hundreds or thousands of generations to see how it ends up. Say, for example, you start with two equal sub-populations, one which is “pro-choice,” and one which is “pro-life.” The pro-choice units copulate more often, but also use birth control more often, and when they do get pregnant, they’re much more likely to abort the offspring. The pro-life units have less sex, but also use less birth control, and when they do get pregnant, they’re far less likely to terminate the offspring. Let the simulation run and see which side begins to dominate. But to make the simulation more realistic, you’d have to account for the fact that the pro-choice side controls education and the media, so that a certain percentage of young units on the pro-life side will be successfully indoctrinated and lured into the opposing camp. However if the pro-choice population begins to drop precipitously, then their grip on the indoctrination levers will start to loosen, meaning fewer converts. Simultaneously, the “biological clock” factor will play out in favor of the pro-life side, since as pro-choice units age their craving to have children will increase and may make them cross over into the pro-life camp. Anyway, one could fiddle with the parameters and see if an equilibrium can be reached, or if one side or the other will always come to dominate as the function collapses.

Alternately, one could make a brainless sign and leave it at that.


This was one of the most ill-conceived paper bags, with the vaguely menacing and arithmetically challenged message

Your DAUGHTER
Your SISTER
Your MOTHER
Your WIFE
one in three: RAPED OR BEATEN

Is that a threat? Or a math quiz?


Many people were wearing buttons that said “Dr. George Tiller: HERO.”
(For those unfamiliar with his name, Tiller was a Kansas doctor who specialized in performing late-term abortions, and who was eventually murdered by extremist madman Scott Roeder.)


It’s now de rigueur at events like these for over-the-hill former ’60s activists to dress up as “radical grannies”; even though such women almost certainly never spent their lives as old-fashioned housewives, they imagine that if they don the stereotypical costumes of mid-century mid-America (aprons, hats, etc.) this somehow magically accords them the respect and credence one might normally give to “respectable old ladies,” and that this respect will transfer effortlessly to the radical politics they espouse beneath the artificial costumery. Or, in other words, they hope that people like me will think, “Gee, if this respectable old-fashioned granny has far-left opinions, then such opinions must be mainstream and reasonable!” Nice plan, but sorry, didn’t work.

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Where was the October Surprise?

Almost everyone anticipated this year’s “October Surprise” — some last-minute, unexpected, shocking scandal to rock the presidential election and derail one of the candidates. But it never appeared. In an era of everything-but-the-kitchen-sink gutterball politics, this mysterious absence of any major scandal was itself noteworthy. How could nothing have happened?

Sure, there was Hurricane Sandy. But that doesn’t count. Sandy was a natural disaster that dominated the headlines for a few days, but it wasn’t a scandal. And yes, there was Benghazi. But that happened in early September, and it wasn’t so much a political scandal uncovered by partisan operatives as it was the umpteenth example of Obama’s incompetence. Whatever Benghazi blowback he’s gotten damaging his election chances are entirely his own responsibility for bungling an international crisis. So, no, neither one of those counted as an October Surprise.

Which left many people scratching their heads. Why wasn’t there one? For either candidate?

In Mitt Romney’s case, the answer is pretty obvious: He’s squeaky clean. His entire adult life has been like a boring treatise on Mormon moral rectitude. His political career has long been an open book — moderate, bipartisan, essentially uneventful. The Democrats have tried to squeeze some droplets of outrage over Romney’s tenure at Bain Capital, but those attacks came earlier in the summer and turned out to be extremely slim pickin’s. There are no skeletons in Romney’s closet, otherwise we would have heard about them.

But in Barack Obama’s case, the situation is reversed: Everything he’s ever done is scandalous. The reason there was no October Surprise for Obama is that we’re all scandaled out. Anyone’s who been paying attention since 2008 has literally been in paralytic shock every single day. We spent October 2012 exactly as we’ve spent every month of the last four years: Our jaws on the floor, aghast, stupefied, unable to breathe. Almost every single thing Obama has done since he’s been in the national spotlight could have been and should have been a career-ending October Surprise. But the mainstream media, as we all know, has devoted itself to protecting him.

Not a day has gone by since Obama took office when I didn’t learn of some fresh outrage and say Oh. My. God. But we’ve been traumatized so often that over time the scandals have all blurred together and fused into a single red-hot thought: Please let this nightmare end.

A complete recounting of Obama’s shoulda-been October Surprises would fill a book, an encyclopedia, an entire library. But I think this is a good time to initiate a crowd-sourced list of everything Obama has done since 2008 (and every fact about his earlier life that emerged since 2008) which you thought was scandalous, shocking or outrageous. Just for the record, let’s remind the world that every freakin’ day for the last four years has been an October Surprise.

I’ll get the ball rolling with a few scandalous deeds and facts which occur to me at the moment, but this list will primarily come from you, the readers. In the comments section below, mention anything and everything that you believe should have ruined Obama politically (if the media had been doing its job). From the big to the small, from the recent to the distant, dig deep in your memory and just let it all out, like political primal scream therapy.

I’ll continuously update the list as best as I can to include whatever gets mentioned by the commenters.

Ready? Let the collective scream begin!


 

The Complete List of Barack Obama’s Scandals, Misdeeds, Crimes and Blunders

 

• $6 trillion in new national debt under Obama…after he promised to decrease the deficit.

• Obamacare — A massive and incredibly convoluted bill which exponentially increases the federal government’s control over our personal lives…which neither Obama nor a single Democrat even read before passing, and which will likely bankrupt the nation.

• In both the 2008 and 2012 presidential elections, the Obama campaign purposely disabled the credit card verification system for its Web site donations, allowing anyone from any foreign country to donate with no limit and no proof of identity; in both elections it was demonstrated that people overseas and people with obviously false identities were able to donate to Obama campaign, in direct violation of several laws. To this day it is not known what percentage of Obama’s campaign funds are illegally obtained, since there is no documentation.

• Billions of taxpayer dollars gambled on “green” companies like Solyndra, NextEra, Ener1, Solar Trust and many others — all of which went bankrupt.

• An intentional refusal to enforce federal immigration laws.

• Unemployment at or above 8% for almost his entire term in office (which was actually closer to 15% actual unemployment).

• Operation Fast & Furious — a government-sponsored illegal gun-running scheme designed to purposely go awry so as to induce public outcry for gun control.

• Spent 20 years listening to a racist anti-American pastor (Rev. Jeremiah Wright), whom Obama described as a mentor. On March 18, 2008, Obama gave a speech in which he said “I could no more disown Jeremiah Wright than I could disown my own grandmother” and “[Wright's church, Trinity United] embodies the black community in its entirety.” Now Obama tries to pretend that Jeremiah Wright doesn’t exist, and that his extremist anti-white philosophy didn’t influence Obama’s worldview.

• Increased the percentage of Americans dependent on food stamps to unprecedented levels (now over 15% of the nation’s population).

• Militarily intervened in Libya in 2011 without the Congressional approval required by the War Powers Act — technically an impeachable offense.

• Before he entered politics, Obama worked as a lawyer suing banks in landmark cases, forcing them to give home loans to unqualified minority borrowers — a practice now understood as one of the primary initial causes of the eventual housing bubble and market collapse.

• Handed out over 1,200 waivers to politically connected donors exempting them from the onerous requirements of Obamacare.

• Greatly expanding the number of unaccountable “czars,” which essentially amounts to unilaterally adding new federal departments with no congressional oversight — leading to a true “bureaucracy” in the original sense (rule by unelected bureaucrats).

• Using taxpayer dollars to bail out the private pension funds of autoworkers’ unions at GM & Chrysler.

• Illegally ending the welfare-to-work requirements passed by Congress.

• Doling out $800 billion in stimulus cash for “shovel-ready” jobs that didn’t exist — the money just evaporated with no measurable economic benefit.

• Alienating and isolating Israel, our strongest ally in the Middle East.

• Apologizing to Islamists and terrorists for offending them.

• Under Obama’s watch, for the first time in history America’s credit rating was downgraded, due to his poor economic policies.

• Stopped American oil drilling in the Gulf of Mexico, allowing other nations with worse environmental records to drill instead — thereby managing to both weaken our economy and damage the environment simultaneously.

• Proposed in 2008 to intentionally bankrupt the coal industry — and now lies to voters and workers in coal-producing regions about his true intent.

• Pretends to be concerned about skyrocketing energy prices, when in fact he vowed to increase them on purpose (so as to make alternative energy schemes more competitive.)

• In a primary debate against Hillary Clinton in 2008, Obama said he would never force people to buy health insurance, since those without it couldn’t afford to buy it. Less than two years later, he rammed through Obamacare, which does indeed force people to buy health insurance.

• During the 2008 campaign, Obama repeatedly promised that if he was elected “No family making less than $250,000 will see any form of tax increase.” This promise was broken over and over again once he was elected.

• In 2008 Obama vowed if elected to increase security along the U.S.-Mexican border — and then in 2010 stopped construction of a “virtual fence” on the border and re-routed money earmarked for border security to other projects.

• Cash for Clunkers, which doled out taxpayer money to anyone who wanted to replace their old cars, but which mostly only ended up subsidizing the puchase of foreign-made cars by people who could have afforded them on their own anyway; meanwhile, the traded-in cars were all destroyed, creating a shortage and thereby increasing the cost of used cars, hurting the pocketbooks of poor people.

• Violated the U.S. Constitution by authorizing assassinations and drone strikes to kill American citizens abroad — without due process.

• Was caught on a “hot mike” promising the President of Russia that he would cave in to their demands for a weaker missile shield — after he was re-elected and no longer had to keep up the pretense that he sought to defend America.

• Appointed Van Jones, a former avowed communist who supported a “9/11 Truth” petition, to be “Green Jobs Czar.”

• Appointed Anita Dunn, who said Chairman Mao was her “favorite philosopher,” to be White House Communications Director.

• Appointed John Holdren, who perviously entertained the notion of forced mass sterilzation to stop overpopulation, to be Science Czar.

• Appointed Steven Chu, who openly advocated an artificial increase in gasoline prices to $10/gallon (and similar increases in other energy prices) to be Secretary of Energy.

• Appointed Kevin Jennings, who led a group that promoted X-rated “sex-positive” textbooks for 13-year-olds, instructed teenagers at a conference how to perform “fisting” (anal penetration by fists), who refused to report instances of statutory rape, and who expressed admiration for a member of NAMBLA, to be America’s “Safe School’s Czar.”

• When states voted to enforce the federal immigration laws which the federal government refused to enforced, Obama sued to stop them.

• Blocked continued construction of the Keystone Pipeline, thereby intentionally reducing energy resources for the US and forcing Canada to sell more of its oil to China.

• Repeatedly changed his position on gay marriage over the years, depending on what was politically expedient at the moment and which intended audience he was addressing.

• Before he was president, Obama staunchly opposed raising the national debt limit — but once elected, he insisted that it be raised.

• When giving a 2009 speech in France that he must have assumed Americans would never hear, he described the United States as “arrogant” and “dismissive” (while also criticizing Europe elsewhere in the speech).

• When states tried to stop election fraud with voter ID laws, Obama sued to prevent them from doing so.

• Instructed Attorney General Eric Holder to stonewall any investigation into the voter intimidation case against the New Black Panthers.

• Promised in 2008 that once elected he would officially recognize the Armenian Genocide; but to this date he has still failed to do so, caving in to threats and pressure from Turkey.

• Vowed to end the influence of lobbyists in Washington, but under Obama’s watch their influence has only increased.

• When he was first running for President, Obama promised, “I will not sign any non-emergency bill without giving the American public an opportunity to review and comment on the White House website for five days.” Needless to say, he has broken that promise with almost every bill he has signed since.

• Aided and abetted the “Arab Spring” which deposed existing secular governments across North Africa, leading to a regional power vacuum which was filled by Al Qaeda, the Muslim Brotherhood, and other hardline Islamists.

• Refused to provide assistance or support the the earlier secular Iranian democracy uprising, allowing them to be crushed by the Islamic fundamentalist Iranian regime.

• In his first months in office, Obama bowed to the king of Saudi Arabia, the president of China, the Emperor of Japan, and President of Mexico, among others.

• Ordered NASA to make one of its top priorities not space exploration or scientific research but “Muslim outreach.”

• Used Obamacare as a pretext to greatly increase the size and power of the IRS (which was given 16,000 new agents and additional mandates to penalize taxpayers for noncompliance).

• Used the IRS to harass conservative businesses.

• In the GM bailout, he illegally shortchanged investors who according to bankruptcy laws were first in line to be recompensed; instead, he gave their share to the unions.

• Shut down oil drilling in the US, but then turned around and lent $2 billion to Brazil to support their government-controlled oil-drilling effort — and then promised the US would become one of Brazil’s biggest oil customers.

• Sued Boeing in an effort to control where businesses could locate, kowtow to the unions, and block the creation of 1,000 jobs in South Carolina, a right-to-work (i.e. no forced unionization) state.

• Adopted a longstanding Socialist political slogan, “Forward!”, as his 2012 campaign motto.

• Sent insulting form letters to the familes of dead SEALs.

• Neither disavowed nor distanced himself from anti-Romney campaign ads which threatened or implied violence against Republicans.

• Shortly after the recent eruption of anti-American violence in North Africa, Obama went to Las Vegas to do his debate preparation in a hotel…with a romanticized North Africa theme.

• Said in an interview that the Muslim call to prayer was “one of the prettiest sounds on earth at sunset.”

• Union boss and far-left activist Andy Stern has visitied Obama in the White House at least 53 times, at last count — greater access than any other private citizen.

• Hosted at the White House many Islamist members of groups associated with Hamas, the Muslim Brotherhood, etc.

• Sponsored performances by and attended fundraisers with radical rappers like Michael Franti and Common, both of whose lyrics have in some cases been anti-police, anti-white, and anti-America.

• Hired Timothy Geithner, who is documented as cheating on his own personal taxes, to be Secretary of the Treasury.

• Told Joe “the Plumber” Wurzelbacher that it was good to “spread the wealth around.”

• Told small business owners nationwide in a 2012 speech that “you didn’t build that” — implying that they should not claim credit for their own success, since taxpayers (i.e. themselves and other business owners) had funded the national infrastructure.

• Insulted the British people by rudely returning to them a bust of Churchill which previously had been a ceremonial gift on display at the White House; when later confronted on this inexplicable action, he lied about it.

• Canceled plans to complete a missile defense shield in Poland, a move which was highly praised by Russia — the very nation whose missile threat would have been neutralized if the shield had been completed.

• By loudly publicizing (for personal political gain) the identity of exact SEAL teams who had killed Osama bin Laden, Obama made them a target for reprisals by Islamists; a short time later 22 SEALS were shot down and killed in Afghanistan, their worst loss of life ever.

• Established an extra-Constitutional top secret “kill list” of people (including Americans) Obama claims the right to kill on sight, and then bragged about it publicly.

• Set up a special email account, “Flag@Whitehouse.gov,” to which Americans were supposed to inform the government of anyone they heard spreading “disinformation” about Obama’s health care overhaul. (This was the first of three different “spy on your friends and neighbors” programs.)

• “Attack Watch” was Obama’s second Big Brother attempt, a Web site on which you would report “attacks” on Obama’s proposals and ideology; it was quickly shut down due to outrage and mockery.

• Finally, Obama set up the “Truth Team” program which encouraged citizens to report to the government any friends or relatives they hear repeating “lies” about Obama. The Truth Team site still exists.

• Twisted the arms of defense contractors to not issue layoff notices in early November, so as to avoid causing bad news for Obama right before the election — even though federal law (the “WARN Act”) requires such notices.

• After the attacks on American interests in North Africa on September 11, 2012, Obama gave a speech to the U.N. and declared “The future must not belong to those who slander The Prophet of Islam” — transferring the blame from the attackers onto the makers of a film trailer that supposedly “offended” the Islamists.

• Repeatedly snubbed and got into public tiffs with Benjamin Netanyahu, who as the leader of Israel is supposed to be Obama’s closest colleague in international affairs.

• On May 19, 2011, Obama told Israel they must return to the 1967 borders as a pre-condition for continuing talks with the Palestinians — even though the status of the borders was the main issue the talks were supposed to address.

• Encouraged politically biased hiring practices in the Justice Department.

• Soon after taking office, Obama rescinded the “Mexico City Policy,” which previously had banned NGOs which are supported by American taxpayer funds from using those funds to perform abortions in foreign countries.

• Attempted to force returning veterans to pay huge increases for their health coverage…as a way to generate more funding for his Obamacare provisions.

• In June of 2011, he anointed his own underage daughters as “senior staff members” so that their vacation to Africa would be paid for with taxpayer money.

• Interviews with high school classmates revealed that Obama was a heavy and frequent user of marijuana in his teenage years (not to mention his self-admitted cocaine use in college).

• Played over 100 rounds of golf during his first three years in office, meaning that he was on the links close to 10% of the days he has been president.

• Voted to allow post-birth abortions (i.e. facilitating the deaths of babies who survive late-term abortions) not just once but three times in a row as an Illinois state senator.

• The pastor whom Obama selected to give the national benediction at his 2009 inauguration recently declared that “all white people are going to Hell.”

• Sided with Hugo Chavez and the Castro regime regarding the Honduran Constitutional Crisis of 2009, the first time ever that the U.S. formed a political alliance with socialist governments in Latin America.

• Obama Administration OKed the nomination of Chas Freeman to chair the National Intelligence Council (which coordinates intelligence reports from all government agencies), despite the fact that he was openly hostile to Israel and strongly favored Arabist goals. (He later withdrew under pressure.)

• Chinese pianist Lang Lang played an offensively anti-American song at a 2011 White House dinner where Obama hosted Chinese president Hu Jintao, to the delight and amazement of the communist Chinese visitors, while Obama just sat there and smiled (the song’s Chinese lyrics describe Americans as “warmongering jackals”).

• There was a great deal of (still unverified) suspicion that the company LightSquared received favorable treatment from the Obama administration for approval of its broadband technology which interfered with the GPS system; an Air Force general claimed he was pressured by the Obama administration to downplay his criticism of LightSquared’s technology in sworn testimony.

• Obama’s Department of Energy awarded $529 million to Fisker Automotive to build their Karma hybrid electric cars — even though they are manufactured in Finland, cost over $100,000 each, and tend to explode.

• When Inspector General Gerald Walpin discovered during a 2009 investigation that one of Obama’s political allies (the mayor of Sacramento) was misusing government funds for personal gain, Obama unceremoniously fired Walpin — even though rooting out fraud was the job description of the Inspector General.

• More than once Obama made so-called “recess appointments” when the Senate was not actually in recess, which directly violates Constitutional rules about how appointments must be made; in each case it was his way of getting his political allies into certain key positions without them being vetted or approved by the Senate, as required.

• After Nidal Malik Hasan massacred 13 people at Fort Hood while shouting “Allahu Akbar” so as to become a martyr for Islam, the Obama administration refused to classify his action as “terrorism” and instead deemed it merely “workplace violence.”

• Despite the fact that the Falkland Islands have been part of Great Britain since 1833 and that Great Britain is supposed to be our strongest ally, Obama essentially sided with Argentina in its new claim on the Falklands, not only by adopting the Argentine position that their status is open to negotiation, but even by (attempting to) refer to the islands by their Spanish name (Malvinas).

• Convened the National Commission on Fiscal Responsibility and Reform (a.k.a. the Simpson-Bowles commission) in order to address a major economic crisis…and then summarily dismissed and ignored their recommendations.

• Criticized the Supreme Court’s legal reasoning (about the Citizen’s United decision) during a State of the Union address, which many considered a dangerous precedent as it appeared to place political pressure on the court, violating the Constitution’s separation of powers; but his bullying seems to have later paid off, when the Supreme Court apparently altered its Obamacare decision so as to not ruffle any political feathers.

• On April 27, 2009, Obama’s staff (possibly at his direction) ordered Air Force One to make an unnecessary very low flight over part of Manhattan and the Statue of Liberty, which many residents mistakenly assumed must be a second 9/11 attack in progress; turned out that it was just a stunt to get a photo op of Obama’s plane next to the Statue of Liberty.

• Obama somehow managed to insert mentions of himself into the official biographies of earlier presidents on the White House Web site — even presidents from the 19th century. After public outcry, the narcissistic Obama mentions were quietly removed without comment.

• Intentionally misquotes the Declaration of Independence in speeches, often leaving out the words “by their Creator” in the famous passage “…are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights,” which Obama instead has recited as “…are endowed with certain unalienable rights.”

• In June of 2009, Obama’s Solicitor General (and now Supreme Court Justice) Elena Kagan filed a legal brief to prevent the families of 9/11 victims from appealing their lawsuits against the Saudi royal family for financing the 9/11 attacks.

• The 2009 National Christmas Tree in the White House was decorated with ornaments depicting Chairman Mao, a drag queen, and a picture of Mount Rushmore that included Obama’s own head next to George Washington’s.

• Compelled Catholic and other religious organizations to provide health plans with free contraception, even though such requirements violate their rights of religious freedom and conscience.

• It was revealed only after Obama became president that during the 1990s he was a leading member of the “New Party,” a socialist-aligned far-left radical group in Chicago.

• Lied about his close associations with former Weather Underground terrorist Bill Ayers; pretended the two barely knew each other, when multiple sources document they were friends and close colleagues for years.

• When Obama was inaugurated as President on January 20, 2009, he at first flubbed the oath of office, so he had to re-take it behind closed doors for his inauguration to be valid. He did so, but during this second, true inauguration in private, he purposely failed to place his hand on a Bible, as is traditional — the first president ever to not swear the oath of office on the Bible.

• Obama’s own author bio in his literary agent’s catalog and on their Web site stated for 17 consecutive years that he was born in Kenya; this claim remained intact despite other portions of the bio being altered and updated repeatedly. It was only in 2007 after he decided to run for the presidency that the “born in Kenya” claim was taken down. The original info must necessarily have come from Obama himself; some theorize he likely falsely claimed foreign birth in order to gain admission or scholarships in college, and never bothered to fix his lie.

• After winning the 2008 election but before being sworn in, Obama bombastically concocted the official-seeming “Office of the President-Elect” as if it was some kind of real government department; in fact, it was just a self-congratulatory title he made up to look important before he actually became president.

• Obama administration came up with the bizarre euphemism “man-caused disasters” to describe acts of terrorism — because he wants to downplay terrorism as a significant political issue.

• For three years in a row his official budget proposals to Congress received exactly zero votes — not even a single vote from Democrats.

• Relied on an Islamic fundamentalist militia group called “The Martyrs of the February the 17th Revolution Brigade” to provide security at the American mission in Benghazi — and they not only failed to prevent the attack but perhaps even joined in on it.

• During the debate over Obamacare in 2009, Obama bluntly stated that doctors like to perform amputations rather than practice preventive medicine for no other reason than that they make a greater profit from amputations. The American College of Surgeons demanded an apology, which never arrived.

• Since 2008 the Los Angeles Times has been in possession of a videotape showing Obama honoring and praising anti-Western anti-Israel academic Edward Said, but they have steadfastly refused to release it to this day, for no discernible reason other than their belief it would damage Obama’s reputation.

• When the Organization for Security and Co-operation in Europe recently held a conference on human rights, Obama sent an American representative — Salam al-Marayati, a Truther who blamed Israel for the 9/11 attacks and who also praises Hezbollah and Hamas. To the nations of Europe, al-Marayati spoke for all Americans on the topic of human rights.

• Obama’s Department of Homeland Security specifically warned that Americans who are “dedicated to a
single issue, such as opposition to abortion or immigration” are potential terrorists, as are libertarian-minded voters who “favor of state or local authority” over centralized power. These “rightwing extremists” (who hold political beliefs shared by a majority of Americans) are deemed a greater threat to the nation than actual revolutionaries or jihadists.

• While campaigning in 2008 Obama declared that it was “unpatriotic” that Bush had increased the national debt at a rate of half a trillion dollars per year; but under Obama the rate of national debt increase has accelerated to almost three times the Bush rate ($6 trillion in new debt in under four years) — yet Obama has never apologized nor declared himself unpatriotic.

• For decades, every president has attended a “daily intelligence briefing” which updates him on critical world events each morning. Obama has skipped 60% of his daily intelligence briefings, including the ones leading up to the attack in Benghazi.

[...Much more to come soon! This is a work in progress that will be added to throughout the day. Keep refreshing the page for updates...]

…Also see:

• President Barack Obama’s Complete List of Historic Firsts

• The Complete List of Obama Statement Expiration Dates

• A Chronic Case of Obamnesia: Obama’s Long Trail of Flip-Flops

• List of Obama’s Lies

• Obama’s Marxist Associations and Policies

(Remember an Obama misdeed not listed here? Mention it in the comments section below! Eventually all many suggestions will be incorporated into the list. [Update: There simply aren’t enough hours between now and November 6 to add the hundreds of great suggestions rolling it; I’ll do as many as I can, but the list will inevitably be incomplete. Read the comments themselves below for many more Obama misdeeds that won’t make it onto the list.)

[To ensure that this post is work-safe, family-friendly, and legal, all photos below have the following parts blurred out: - exposed genitals - exposed butt-cracks - female breasts - the faces of children or anyone who appears to be a minor - the faces of passersby who may not wish to be associated with the […]

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The Secret Life of Willard Mitty

October 18th, 2012 - 2:18 pm

“America is on the brink!” the Impossibly Talented Orator thundered at the podium. “Only the most extreme measures shall save her!” A lock of his hair, slightly dampened with manly sweat, fell rakishly across one eye. Several women in the audience fainted from excitement. Not a Teleprompter was in sight. The Impossibly Talented Orator looked directly into the souls of every single person in the million-strong audience. “Damn the Democrats and their communist puppetmasters! Rise up for freedom! Rise up for success! Rise up——”

“Willard, your smile is fading a bit,” said his wife Ann, interrupting his reverie. “You know a scowl is not acceptable. You promised to keep a friendly smile pasted on your face for the entire campaign. Now keep waving at those middle-class voters.”

Momentarily confused, Willard Mitty raised his arm and waved at the farmers and unemployed coal miners gathered outside the ’50s-era diner hosting that morning’s photo op. A gentle elbow from Ann jolted him back to the task at hand. He looked at his watch — 10:17. Two minutes behind schedule. Willard ate a corn dog and grinned and shook hands with Likely Registered Voters, and then delivered some prepared remarks to the press pool: “When 18.2% of businesses in southern Ohio have trouble completing the paperwork required under section 47a of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, it leads to a reduction of manufacturing output as much as 29.5%….”

Mitty finally exhaled as he entered the campaign bus. “We’ve got an 11:30 at the state fair,” said the Assistant Campaign Manager. “I’ll debrief you on the way.” Mitty sighed and gazed out the window at the passing corn fields as the debriefing droned on in the background.

“Captain Mittington! The dastardly Brits have hoisted the mizzen-mast,” cried the bos’n's mate. “There’s no stopping them now!” The Captain peered through the fog of war with his trusty spyglass. He noticed what not even the Brits had realized: the Westerlies had stalled and the English fleet was now in the Doldrums. “All men topside!” cried Captain Mittington. “We’re boarding them a-port come hell or high water!”

The Captain swung onto the British deck and landed just as a cannonball broke his rope. Sparks flew from his blade as he repelled the lunges of several limey swordsmen. “Never shall overly taxed tea touch American shores!” the Captain yelled. With two swift strokes of his cutlass he sliced the moorings which held the cargo of tea on deck. “To the sea! To the sea with your accursed tea!” ——

“The Bipartisan Protocol needs another revision by the Compromise Committee,” interrupted Willard’s Ombudsman of Moderation. “I’ve faxed the Mutually Agreed-Upon Points of Reasonableness to your pager.” Mitty looked up, startled. The Compromise Committee? Yes, now he remembered: He agreed to co-chair it at the last Moderate Conference.

“I’m quite sure that the Points of Reasonableness are, well, reasonable,” Mitty said. “Are we at the county fair yet?”

His campaign aides looked at each other nervously. After an awkward silence, one cleared his throat and spoke up. “Willard, the county fair appearance wrapped up 45 minutes ago. Your joke went over great.”

“Joke?”

“You know, the one where you say, ‘Why did the chicken only partly cross the carnival midway? Because he wanted to stay in the middle of the road — just like all of you, and me as well!’ It took the Noncontroversial Joke Team three days to come up with that zinger!”

Mitty barely remembered saying the joke and the wild applause from average people it elicited. He must have been going through the motions, as his mind seemed to be elsewhere at the time. But where? What was he thinking? The voices around him faded as he gazed inward.

“Vilard Mitté at your service,” the dashing recruit saluted at the French Legionnaire fort in the Sahara Desert. Glowing ash crumbled from the Gitane cigarette dangling off his chapped lips. “I have marched five hundred kilometres through ze burning sands to relieve your position.”

The Commandant eyed him with disgust and disbelief. “Just vous and no one else? I snort with derision! We are surrounded by Saracens and savage desert nomads who desire death more than we desire life. How can one grizzled but handsome world-weary adventurer save us?”

“How? How?” laughed the dashing Vilard Mitté through his five-o’clock shadow. “Avec le intestinal fortitude, mon commandant!

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One reason why undecided voters remain undecided is that they are uncomfortable with newness. If forced to choose between the familiar and the strange, they tend to retreat to the familiar — if the two options are otherwise similar. But what if the familiar option is now damaged goods? The hesitant chooser then faces a dilemma, whether it’s best to stick with the flawed product you know, or to take a leap of faith and anoint an unfamiliar new product the status of best friends forever.

And thus they become paralyzed with indecision.

Decisive people never face this dilemma. If something fails, they have no problem discarding it and replacing it with a superior substitute. But hesitant, un-self-confident people have difficulty visualizing something that doesn’t already exist. And that makes it difficult for them to make changes in their lives.

This is especially true with momentous decisions. It might be possible, on a brave day, for a hesitant person to test out a new ice cream flavor. But to vote for a total stranger to be president? Whoa whoa whoa, slow down, that’s more than I can handle. It’s so much easier to vote for the existing president because, well, because he’s already called “President.”

Yeah, sure, everyone tells me he’s not a very good president, but I just can’t visualize someone else as president, because, well, because the other guy isn’t called “President.”

Those of you who vote according to your personal convictions or out of a political philosophy might find this kind of dithering hesitancy to be incomprehensible. But it lies at the root of why some voters, even this late in the game, remain “undecided.” It’s not really that they’re undecided, but rather that they haven’t quite yet come to terms with the notion of “President Romney.”

Such people need a little extra encouragement to internalize “President Romney” in their mental vocabulary. And once they become comfortable with the concept, they will feel freer to embrace something new and vote for Romney, because the notion of “President Romney” will no longer be strange and unfamiliar.

Furthermore, if you haven’t made up your mind at this stage, then you are completely resistant to words, arguments, logic, rationality, and information. Your mind must be approached at a subconscious level, perhaps through the pineal gland.

To that end, I have created a new video specifically aimed at undecided voters. It serves one purpose and one purpose only: To make viewers familiar with and comfortable with the phrase “President Romney.” To achieve this, I have carefully overlaid an ever-growing crescendo of voices repeating “President Romney” on a hypnotic visual background, in this case the “Hypnotoad” character from the TV series Futurama.

Behold HypnoRomney:

If you’re reading this analysis, you’ve almost certainly already decided whom to vote for; this video is not aimed at you. Instead, it is aimed at those people who are teetering on the edge of voting for Romney, but first need to become at ease with the concept “President Romney” before pulling that lever for him in the voting booth.

So, I encourage everyone reading this to repost this video wherever you can, especially in non-political Web environments, or in the kinds of places where undecided voters might congregate (presuming there are such places).

To make sharing easy, here is the URL of the YouTube page with the video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JwOVD7z-gqA

And here is the YouTube embed code, for those sites that require it:

<iframe width="640" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/JwOVD7z-gqA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

And here is a link to the page itself:

HypnoRomney

We’ve tried reason. We’ve tried emotion. Now let’s seal the deal with hypnosis!

Things quickly turned sour for President Obama on Monday in San Francisco at what was supposed to be a stopover in friendly territory. Instead, he was greeted by angry protesters from both wings of the political spectrum. Even independent libertarians expressed their disappointment in a president that seems to be hemorrhaging support with each passing day.

Protesters swirled around the entrance to the Bill Graham Auditorium, tormenting the ticket-holders waiting in line to see Obama and radical socialist musician Michael Franti. What made this particular protest unique was that its participants spanned the entire spectrum of American politics, from conservatives to leftists, from marijuana advocates to the NRA, from the Tea Party to Code Pink, from Occupy San Francisco to “Porn Stars for Romney” to PETA, and everyone in between. Who can unite them all? Only Obama!


This Romney fan (who caucused with the Tea Party protesters) pretty much summed up the mood of the day.


Just steps away, this anti-drone activist (who caucused with World Can’t Wait) was even more harsh with his criticism of Obama.


The “states’ rights”-minded libertarian marijuana advocates were unhappy with Obama for clamping down on pot clinics, even in states with medical marijuana laws.


They even deployed their most potent weapon, the dreaded Giant Puppet.

Didn’t matter where each protest group fell on the political spectrum — they all were unhappy with Obama.

Who else showed up to protest the president?


Occupy Wall Street? Check.


The NRA? Check.


Code Pink? As always.


PETA went the Full Pachyderm with an angry elephant.


Single-payer health care advocates were miffed about the muddled half-measures known as Obamacare.


“Porn Stars for Romney” entertained the crowds with his roller-skate antics and hilarious “I Built It” costume, but most people could not even figure out whose side he was on. Any protester riffing on “You didn’t build that” is presumed to be anti-Obama, but Mr. Porn Star later seemed to reveal that his Romney advocacy was sarcastic, bewildering onlookers as to what he was protesting for, if anything.


Most likely he was an ideological counterpart to this guy, who hated everyone equally.


After a quick stop in Los Angeles for some high-toned fundraisers on Sunday, Obama started Monday morning with a short visit to the outskirts of Bakersfield where he unveiled a monument to Cesar Chavez. Then he arrived in San Francisco for a hush-hush fundraiser with unknown individuals at the InterContinental Hotel (seen here surrounded by a security cordon of police vehicles) — an event not only closed to the press, but the existence of which was kept entirely under wraps.


Absolutely no one knew about this event — the tiny handful of people on hand were accidental passersby.

The next stop on his itinerary was the Bill Graham Auditorium in San Francisco’s Civic Center, where Alice Waters and all the trendiest chefs in the Bay Area prepared supper for Obama and any other 1%er millionaires willing to fork over $20,000 per person for the privilege of presidential access (full menu from the event visible here).


Then they all moved into the adjacent auditorium, joined by the hoi polloi (seen above waiting in line) who paid $100 each for tickets to see Obama and a concert by socialist performer Michael Franti, who presumably entertained Obama and the cadres and revolutionary vanguard with some of his trademark lyrics like:

I met a black man who became a police officer
officer, officer, officer, officer, officer, overseer
he tried to tell me it was the only job available
either rob or join the mob ’cause I’m not salable
one night he went out on an undercover sting-ing
bought some smack tried to break the heroin ring-ring
Two cops white cops saw juggling goin’ down
they spilled his brain like homey the fuckin’ clown
(He’s gone!)
Mama Mama Mama Mama I couldn’t say no
got sick and tired of seein’ people bein’ treated ill
picked up my nines, walked up from behind
tapped two of them on the neck so I could meet their eyes direct
Pom! Pom!
I didn’t do it for tha payroll

(Also on the bill was someone named “John Legend.”)


The Obama voters had to run a gauntlet of protest groups on the way into the auditorium.


Various northern California Tea Party groups made up the largest protest contingent by far.

Larry of the Fund47 blog has an extensive slideshow of Tea Partiers at the event.


Many of the Obama fans in line were wearing large buttons that said “I’m Entitled…”, along with some smaller writing that was hard to make out.


I finally got a close-up view of them, only to discover that they read “I’m Entitled…to know how I can get an $87 million IRA in less than 14,500 years. Bay Area for Obama 10/8/2012.” This was apparently an attempt to make some kind of political hay about Romney being wealthy and about his comments on the corrosive entitlement mentality, but the buttons were just a disaster. First of all, it was difficult for random onlookers to read the small text, so it just seemed like all the Obama voters were walking around announcing proudly that they feel “entitled.” But even if you squinted and were able to read to rest of the message, it still was some kind of Democratic in-joke that made little sense to the average person. As for Romney’s sin of being wealthy — what about S.F.’s representatives in Washington, Nancy Pelosi and Dianne Feinstein, being among the richest members of Congress with fortunes that rival or surpass Romney’s? Ooops. Meme FAIL.

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Yesterday the motley remnants of Occupy Los Angeles finally got around to celebrating Occupy Wall Street’s one-year anniversary (more than two weeks after all the other OWS groups did so.) In fact, this lackadaisical attitude about their own rally perfectly reflected the newly emergent operational philosophy of OccupyLA, which one might deem Anarcho-Laziness: the right to avoid employment.

Once again Ringo of Ringo’s Pictures was on hand at Downtown L.A.’s Pershing Square to record the festivities. A blow-by-blow account of how the one-year anniversary march played out will be posted soon at ringospictures.com; this PJM post will serve as a preview of some of the more amusing scenes.


Distancing themselves from both major political parties — and from any semblance of human decency — the Occupiers proudly showed off their grandest banner, an allegorical Gauginesque painting of a Republican elephant copulating as only an elephant can with a Democrat she-donkey (technically a “jenny“).


But a major theme of the day seemed to be an active antipathy to the notion of work. The Occupiers seek a new societal paradigm in which people laze about and enjoy themselves, while magical fairies and unicorns bring them delicacies on silver trays.


Capitalism, you see, has robbed us all of our free time. If it wasn’t for that mean ol’ capitalism we could just slack off all day! But as the sign at the lower right shows…


…not everybody is clear on the concept. Quoting Karl Marx directly conflicts with the principles of Anarcho-Laziness: the whole point of communism is to ensure that everybody has a job.

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