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Monthly Archives: December 2011

That is, unless we jettison this freak show of Republican so-called candidates.

Newt Gingrich? Newt Gingrich????? The guy peaked nearly 20 years ago. Compromised, corrupt, amoral. He has about as much chance of winning the general election as do Calvin Coolidge’s decomposing remains.

Ron F-ing PAUL?????????????? The most charitable thing I can say about him is: Joke candidate. Wrong, wrong, wrong. If he gets the Republican nomination, I would actually stay home on election day, as would most voters forced to choose between a communist and a madman.

Michele Bachmann’s vaccine conspiracies have doomed her as a viable mainstream nominee, unfortunately, even though she is the most likeable of all the candidates and I would have gladly voted for her, “crazy eyes” notwithstanding.

Rick Perry has already made far too many unforced errors, and his extreme social conservative activism has turned off many Constitutionally-minded voters like myself who worry that if he wins he’ll use his power not to shrink government but to meddle in Americans’ private lives. No thank you.

Herman Cain: Toast.

Rick Santorum: If we were all in hell, I’d put my money on the snowball.

Huntsman, Johnson and the rest: Who?

Which leaves us only with Mitt Romney. He’s the sole Republican in the current field who even has a ghost of a chance at beating Obama, but as many have noted, he’s an old-school-checked-pant-double-talking-insider-flip-flopping pseudo-Republican who looks, talks and acts like a phony. I’d still vote for him over Obama, but only out of desperation; I’d rather have a president with magic underwear than an emperor with no clothes. But the growing tide of anti-Mormon bigotry in this country means that I fear few would join me in this protest vote.

And that, to my (and everyone else’s) great chagrin, is it. The pitiable pantheon of declared Republican candidates ends there. I keep reaching around in the bottom of the bag, asking “Any more in there? That can’t be all of you.” But my hand comes back empty. And my heart sinks.

Unless something changes drastically, Obama will beat any of these people handily. Which means, as my title reminded everyone, that he’ll be president for the term between 2012 and 2016 — which actually lasts until January 20, 2017. Think about that: 2017. It’s still 2011, people, and if things keep going as they are, Obama will be in charge until 2017.

2017.

Motivated now?

A complaint yesterday from HotAir commenter “magicbeans” succinctly summarized the national mood:

“I hate this field. What we should have had was Christie, Palin, Ryan, Rubio, West and Jindal. That could have been amazing. Instead we got the second stringers….”

Oh, how true that is. Any one of those candidates would have a good chance at beating Obama, and would be guaranteed to stir up the excitement lacking from the current field.

But we have one big problem: All the exciting potential candidates have already declared that they’re not running. In yesterday’s essay which inspired the comment above, William Kristol subtly suggests, without naming names, that perhaps one or more non-candidates should change their minds and re-enter the race.

But the time for subtlety is over. Let me be blunt:

ALLEN WEST, SAVE US FROM THIS CLOWDER OF CLOWNS.

And Chris Christie, Sarah Palin, Paul Ryan, Marco Rubio and Bobby Jindal, please join Allen’s posse.

I know what all six of you are thinking: “We publicly declared that we aren’t running. We can’t break our promise now!”

Well, I’ll let you in on a little secret: Politicians change their minds all the time. In fact, the act of repeatedly “breaking promises” is the very thing that distinguishes politicians from normal people. Sure, a few voters may hold it against you for a week or two, but once you electrify the country and surge into the lead, the grudge will subside. And sure, the Democrats will try to use this broken promise against you in the general campaign, but trust me, that’ll be the least of their attacks.

But if you want something more official, here is an Absolution Coupon especially for you six:

I might seem lighthearted about all this, but I am actually deadly serious. A lame-duck Obama will have four years of not worrying about re-election to complete his conscious destruction of American capitalism and constitutionalism. It’s too hideous to even contemplate. And, aside from a long-shot chance by the slightly-better-than-a-crash-test-dummy Romney, none of the current candidates has any chance whatsoever to defeat Obama.

I know the public is waiting for an end to the unfunny charade known as the 2012 Republican Party nomination, so the real battle — between, for example, West, Palin and Rubio — can begin.

Let’s make it happen. You and I. Stop sitting on our hands waiting for a miracle.

Choose your favorite(s) from the six (temporarily) non-candidates above, and join the popular uprising to get some or all of them to change their minds.

First step: Vote in this two-part poll, so we can get some hard percentages to use as bargaining chips:


Should we stick with the current crop of Republican presidential candidates?

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Which of the undeclared Republican presidential candidates are your favorites? (Choose up to three.)

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Next: On the next page are a few resources to get you involved in the various groundswell campaigns to draft potential nominees. Send emails to your preferred candidates containing the Absolution Coupon above (download the jpeg here) and a link to this post — contact info given on the next page:

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