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Energy Hog Disapproves of Your Energy Use

April 18th, 2014 - 1:37 pm

GORE THE BORE

Meh. I’ve been called worse — and by people with better judgement.

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Top Rated Comments   
The guy who saw nothing immoral in the President committing perjury and obstruction of justice? From the guy who saw nothing wrong with excluding absentee ballots from overseas military personnel? from the guy who wanted to count dimpled chads as votes when there's no way you can dimple a chad without putting more than one ballot in a machine? That guy is calling me Immoral?

I'd rather get sobriety lectures from Keith Richards! I'd rather have Ted Kennedy tell me not to drink and drive! I'd rather get relationship advice from John and Lorena Bobbit! I'd rather hear Stevie Wonder tell me the colors in my outfit clash!
31 weeks ago
31 weeks ago Link To Comment
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All Comments   (18)
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Tell you what, Al. Please come say that straight to my face; you are not 1/10 the man you even pretend to be.
31 weeks ago
31 weeks ago Link To Comment
“What’s this?” thought Barack Obama. “I can feel nothing warmer at all! That is terrible. Am I stupid? Am I a flat-earther? Am I a denier? Am I not fit to be President? That would be the most dreadful thing that could happen to me. “Oh, it is very hot!” Obama said aloud. “It has my highest approbation.” And Obama nodded in a contented way, and gazed outside, for he would not say that he felt no Global Warming. The whole entourage that he had with him tried and tried but felt no warming, any more than the rest; but, like Barack Obama they said, “It is so hot!” and Rahm Emanuel counseled him to always say that he felt hot when he was out in public, even hotter than all the Eric Holder and ACORN troubles were making them both feel. “It is warm, hot even!” went from mouth to mouth. On all sides there seemed to be general warming, and Barack Obama gave Al Gore the title of Imperial Master of Global Warming Science.

So Barack Obama went in procession, and every one in the streets said, “How incomparable hot it is! What a hot day it is!” No one would let it be perceived that he could not feel warming, for that would have shown that he was not fit for his office, or was very stupid or a flat-earther or a denier. No day of Barack Obama’s had ever been as hot as this one.

“But I’m freezing my ass off out here!!!” a little child cried out at last. “Just hear what that innocent says!” said the father: and one whispered to another what the child had said. “But it is cold out here!” said the whole people at length. That touched Barack Obama, for it seemed to him that they were right; but the thought within himself was, “I must go through with feeling all the Global Warming. I do not dare to do otherwise” And so he held himself a little higher, which was very difficult for him to do with all the bowing to dictators that he has been doing, and his aides held on tighter than ever, and proclaimed the Global Warming which did not exist at all.

But that non-compliant child was heard by a menacing shadow in the procession. Those words produced the smallest beads of brine-ish moisture which exuded from his sallow temple. Doubt, however small, could not exist amongst the herd...it must be destroyed. Soon, working in concert with famous couturiers and anonymous sweat shops across Asia, the layered look was in. So many layers. Sweaters upon sweaters, thigh-high crew socks, beanies (preferably found in the street and infested with hair lice), gloves with fingers removed, Doc Martin shin boots, oversized parkas....all to be worn all thru the year, day and night, winter and summer. "Yes, it does seem hotter," said the skatepunks and gangbangers and eco-friendly google complex types as they cursed the imperialist United States for their malodorous perspiration and salt-stung eyes and general heat fatigue.

But the doubt somehow remained, for the females who had been encouraged to be generous with "free services" were finding it harder to sell their wares with the encumbering fashions....they began to shed their layers and wondered why the males were forever complaining of debilitating heat and unable to partake in age old commerce. The feminists saw opportunity and joined the chorus...."Males are insane, lethargic, smelly and unfit to lead!!!!!" However, the feminists did not realize they had strayed from the dogma in their heated (internally generated as opposed to pigcapitalist generated) pursuit of power....much to their peril. For that menacing shadow calling the shots would never falter in his quest. If he must, he must....and joined the ranks with the those seeking the 12th Imam. For only in this way would woman be forced to don such garb as to make them believers in the heat. And so it passed, the bond was made and Islam would have free reign upon the land, thus ensuring suffocating heat until the smiting of necks and stonings of bodies would blessedly release all from the oppression of heat.
31 weeks ago
31 weeks ago Link To Comment
Able to guzzle more energy than dozens of normal men! Producing more hot air than a locomotive!! Able to pile up carbon credits higher than a tall building in a single bound!!! Look UP in the sky! It’s ChickenLittle! It’s FlyingSnakeOilSalesman! It’s the Sultan of Hanging Chads! It’s the Ayatollah of Heat! It’s the High Priest of the Inquisition! It’s the Doctor of Doom! No, it’s CarbonMan in a private jet painted green! And now following in the tradition of other great men such as Jimmy Carter and Yasir Arafat, he is the proud recipient of a Nobel Prize!!! CarbonMan, strange visitor from an alternate reality who came to Earth with claims and scary predictions far beyond those of any sane and honest man, disguised as Fat Albert, and now joined by other members of the Royal Green League such as BioFuelHummerMan and EcoCleaningWoman, they all fight a never ending battle for science-fiction, hypocrisy, power grabbing, money grubbing and the Hollywood way!
31 weeks ago
31 weeks ago Link To Comment
Mr. Gore. You keep using this word, 'morality'. I do not think it means what you think it means.
31 weeks ago
31 weeks ago Link To Comment
31 weeks ago
31 weeks ago Link To Comment
Immoral, Unethical and Despicable... he's yelling at that fat guy in the mirror again.
31 weeks ago
31 weeks ago Link To Comment
Immoral, Unethical, Despicable, Non-tax paying Domestic Terrorists. The liberals should not be calling people names, I don't think they mean what they think they mean.
31 weeks ago
31 weeks ago Link To Comment
S'cool. I call Gorebot a f*cking idiot on a daily basis.
31 weeks ago
31 weeks ago Link To Comment
You think of him on a daily basis? That makes me sad.
31 weeks ago
31 weeks ago Link To Comment
Think of it in the context of a Hitler cartoon during WWII.
31 weeks ago
31 weeks ago Link To Comment
Here's a couple truisms: Malthusians are always wrong, and those who have good reason for their opinion are not alarmed when faced with a different opinion.
31 weeks ago
31 weeks ago Link To Comment
Energy Hog Disapproves of Your Energy Use

i disapprove of his oxygen use.
31 weeks ago
31 weeks ago Link To Comment
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