Surface is Gonna ROCK YOUR WORLD!

Or perhaps not.

Word was that Nokia, which can’t sell many Windows Phones, was going to get into the business of not selling many Windows Surface tablets. Now we have details:

We’re told that Nokia’s tablet will be thinner than the current iPad, and lighter at just over a pound in weight. The body of the device will be colored, and Nokia plans to include a 6-megapixel camera at the rear with a 2-megapixel shooter at the front. The 10.1-inch display that Nokia is planning to use will run at 1920 x 1080 resolution, and has been improved for outdoor readability thanks to a high amount of bright output. Sources have also revealed that the tablet will feature Qualcomm’s quad-core Snapdragon 800 processor alongside 2GB of RAM. We understand Nokia is aiming for 10 hours of solid battery life with LTE connectivity. Other features include a microSD port to extend the 32GB of storage, a Micro HDMI connector, and a Micro USB port.

That’s all fine and dandy, especially if your idea of a good user experience is to checkmark a bunch of feature boxes. But that screen — a 2-million screen in the day of 3-million pixel iPads? It’s true what they say: Once you go Retina, you never go back. This thing had better sell at cost if Nokia wants to move any.

Now we have news that Microsoft (proud soon-to-be-owners of Nokia) is readying the Surface Pro 2: Electronic Bugaboo. And wait until you get a load of its killer feature:

Sources familiar with Microsoft’s plans have revealed to The Verge that the Surface Pro 2 design will be largely the same as the original, but the company is planning to include an adjustable kickstand on its latest tablet. The kickstand won’t be fully adjustable, Microsoft is planning to support two positions of use with the Surface Pro 2: one traditional “laptop” mode and a new angle that’s designed to make the device easier to use on an uneven surfaces.

According to a recent marketing survey of the four people who actually own a first generation Surface Pro, here are the most common questions or complaints, from most frequent to least frequent:

Why doesn’t it have a real touch interface?

It needs a longer battery life.

Why is so little of the advertised storage actually available?

Not enough apps.

It’s too thick.

Needs louder speakers.

I’m trading this in for an Android/iPad.

Does it come in any other colors?

Who approved that stupid dancing commercial?

It tastes funny.

I have this burning sensation when I pee.

Herp.

Could you please make the kickstand slightly adjustable?