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Only One Michael Moore Was Harmed in the Making of this Column

February 6th, 2013 - 9:48 am

In the Age of Obama, of course, I don’t expect a little thing like the law to stand in anybody’s way. If USPS wants to stop working on Saturdays and spend the time instead with underage Dominican hookers, surely it’s no business of the Congress.

What’s weird is the semi-demi-private-public status of the Post Office. On the one hand, it’s a private entity that’s supposed to make a profit (HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA). On the other, it can’t adapt to changing market conditions without first getting approval from Washington.

Now would it shock you to learn that USPS is losing $25,000,000 a day? If you’re a thinking person and not a progressive (but I repeat myself), then of course you’re not surprised. It’s tough enough to keep a business going when you only have to report to a board of directors. But when your “board” features business heavyweights like Hank Johnson and Dick Durbin? Fuggidaboudit.

Three years ago, Washington performed the very neat trick of turning the entire health industry into the Post Office — another semi-demi-public-private monstrosity with all the mobility of Michael Moore, wearing a wetsuit, trapped in quicksand, trying to rescue a box of Krispy Kremes. If you think it’s fun that the Post Office does little more than cover your breakfast table with useless papers, wait until you see your doctor in 2016. And wait and wait and wait.

But it gets better. What ObamaCare is doing to the health industry, Dodd-Frank is busy doing to the banking industry. Welcome to Progressive America, where you’ll die of middle age, standing in line to get an ATM card.

Forward, Comrade — the lady waiting in front of you seems to have passed out.

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image courtesy nadi555 / Shutterstock.com

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