So what happens when Tom Petty and Dave Stewart of the Eurythmics collaborate with the director of The Kids Are Alright on the video of a song about an early-morning encounter with a coked-up Stevie Nicks?
This is what happens.
The law of unintended consequences strikes hard at the restaurant industry:
The costs of fines or healthcare for dozens of employees per restaurant have the potential to bankrupt individually owned chains across the country. The Applebee’s in New York City would face fines of $600,000 per year if insurance isn’t provided for full-time staff, and estimates for offering federally approved insurance would cost “some millions” across the Applebee’s system. Both scenarios, according to Tankel, “[would] roll back expansion, roll back hiring more people. In the best case scenario [it] would only shrink the labor force minimally.” The restaurant industry, already operating with razor thin margins, doesn’t have the ability to absorb tens of thousands more in healthcare expenditures without a considerable increase in sales.
See, that’s going to be a problem with so many people shunted to part-time work and unable to afford eating out.
It’s the return of a holiday favorite.
The Perfect Post-Thanksgiving Turkey Club
[The above photograph is for demonstration purposes only. Please don't think you can come over here and eat my sandwich. Also, don't lick the screen.]
Leftover turkey. White meat, dark meat — it’s all good.
Bacon. And lots of it.
Bread. Whole wheat.
Tomatoes. Sliced and deseeded.
Mayonnaise. Real. If it comes out of a squeezy jar, it ain’t real.
Salt & pepper
The trick to making a perfect sandwich is in the layering. Also, if you’re piling it up tall, don’t toast the bread — you’ll need something you can grip. If not, lightly toasted is very nice.
Now then: The layers.
I live at a shade under 7,500 feet above sea level. So I have to move fast, take the bread out last, and spread on the mustard and mayo right away to help keep it moist. If you do, too, get all your mise on, then get your bread.
On the lefthand slice, spread on the mayo. On the right, the mustard.
Continue piling everything else on the mayo side, in this order:
Season the tomato right now with a little salt and too much pepper.
Bacon. No fewer than four slices, if you know what’s good for you.
Now add the mustard slice on top — mustard down, please — to complete it.
Nom nom nom.
You want your B and L and T all together, because they’re just a classic combo. And you want them on the mayo side, because that’s classic, too. And you need the lettuce in-between the tomato and the bread, to keep the bread from getting soaked as you squeeze that bad boy down to fit in your mouth. (I know, I know — can’t let the bread get too dry, can’t let the bread get too wet. I’m picky. But there’s a reason we call this sandwich “perfect.”)
The turkey and the bacon go great together, too, so you want them right next to one another. And turkey and Gulden’s together? Heavenly. Lastly, and for reasons I cannot fathom, the sandwich works best with the veggies on the bottom and the meats on top — so don’t be a damn fool and turn it upside-down. There’s a right way and a wrong way to eat perfection. And that’s meats up/veggies down.
What are you doing on the internet today?
Scram. Get out of here. Go on.
And have a happy Thanksgiving.
Lawrence Kasdan coming on for one or two of the Star Wars sequel-sequels? Now I’m getting excited about going back to a galaxy far, far away.
Seriously, Kasdan’s script provided the foundation for Empire being far and away (heh) the best of the six movies. It didn’t hurt that Lucas stayed mostly away from principle photography (which he’ll be doing again), and that Irvin Kershner directed with a flair for real humanity.
Lucas, out. Kasdan, in. Now we just need a director.
Timothy Noah on what President Obama should do in his second term:
With the election over, the president can now take bolder action on a host of domestic issues that don’t require cooperation—or even input—from Congress. Though some of these actions might be controversial, that concern matters less now that Obama has faced voters for the last time. What follows are eight policies that the executive branch can carry out on its own, in many cases immediately. Obama will almost certainly do some of these. Others require a bit more gumption. He should do those, too.
Shorter version: F— you. Hell, even Noah calls it “the unilateralist manifesto.” The Founders would call it “tyranny.”
Of course, since at least Nixon, every Republican president has followed the Democrats’ example of consolidating purely discretionary power in the Oval Office. And now we reap the rewards of that folly with a President who has very little discretion about the exercise of that power.
And plenty of slutty cheerleaders like Noah to urge him on.
The headline reads, “Administration affirms key mandates of healthcare law.”
This is news in the same way it’s news when the fox agrees to watch the henhouse.
As Curiosity prepares for Thanksgiving on Mars, rover fans have been left hanging about a discovery from the Red Planet that a NASA official has billed as a big one.
Just you wait, NASA says.
Not everyone wants to. Curiosity’s Facebook page had one early-morning comment from a fan: “WHAT IS IT?!?!” Mars watchers were expressing the same sentiments on Twitter.
I think I might know what it is.
Michael Barone looks back at the November 6 state-by-state results and draws
two conclusions from these figures, one with some certainty and one tentatively.
One is that Democrats have a structural advantage in the Electoral College. An extra 2.46 points of the popular vote netted Obama 80 more electoral votes than Kerry. Obama won 58 percent or more in 11 states and D.C. with 163 electoral votes. He needed only 107 more to win.
In 2004, the 16 states Bush won with 58 percent or more had only 130 electoral votes. He needed 140 more to win and barely got them.
My tentative conclusion is that we may be back to the nearly even balance between the parties we saw between 1995 and 2005. Since then, we’ve been in a period of open-field politics, with big swings to the Democrats in 2006 and 2008 and a big swing to the Republicans in 2010.
He says we’re back to “trench warfare.” It feels like we never left.
Criminal mastermind at work:
Court papers filed Friday in Brooklyn show that one Renel Rene Richardson has been arrested by the FBI and charged with acting as the lookout for a pair of accomplices as they allegedly forklifted two pallets containing 1,800 iPad minis each into a waiting tractor-trailer.
The FBI was reportedly led to Richardson after co-workers told Port Authority detectives that he had made suspicious inquiries about when the iPads were due to arrive and where a forklift might be found.
I hope the judge sets his bail at One. MILLION. Dollars.
Europe: Sinking fast.
I read Zero Hedge because their most outlandish theories usually turn into fact within a year or two. In this case, I’m thinking it will take considerably less time. Read:
Despite the recent deal worked out with Greece, the old cliché about kicking the can down the road is close to becoming no longer possible. Deferring the inevitable is only a political option so long as there is no immediate damage from doing so. But this is no longer true in the Eurozone, where political procrastination is now identifiably responsible for social unrest. It’s not just the trade unionists in revolt; now it is the middle classes as well. Doctors and teachers in Greece do not get paid anymore, and it is going that way in Spain, with regional governments surviving by simply not paying their bills. Government is destroying society, proving the falsity of the heretofore accepted belief (in Europe, anyway) that government makes society better. But then, anyone who has bothered to read Hayek’s The Road to Serfdom will not be surprised.
How did Europe go broke? Two ways. We’re still on the first one — for now.
For reasons, good and bad, voters don’t treat tax dollars the way they do their own dollars. They don’t demand quality. They don’t demand accountability. They don’t push for efficiency. Many people think the government should spend money as if it comes from someplace other than the wallets of citizens and that what we get for it should be graded on some spiritual, emotional, philanthropic or metaphysical curve. How we spend for X so often seems to matter more than how much X is actually delivered.
And that’s the American breed of homo economicus, among the most rational and pecuniary of the species.
That, to paraphrase Yoda, is why we fail.
Get ready for all the funtastic unintended consequences of Obamanomics II: The Wrath of Khan. The WSJ has the chilling details:
U.S. companies are scaling back investment plans at the fastest pace since the recession, signaling more trouble for the economic recovery.
Half of the nation’s 40 biggest publicly traded corporate spenders have announced plans to curtail capital expenditures this year or next, according to a review by The Wall Street Journal of securities filings and conference calls.
Nationwide, business investment in equipment and software—a measure of economic vitality in the corporate sector—stalled in the third quarter for the first time since early 2009. Corporate investment in new buildings has declined.
So. How about them lady parts?
Dear Speaker Boehner and Other Assorted Clueless Bozos on Capitol Hill,
You’ve already been pwned, and it’s too late to un-pwn yourself even if such a thing were possible. Which it isn’t. Now it’s time to try something new. Let’s call it: Give them what they want.
I’ll repeat: Give President Obama and the Democrats the tax hikes they demand, and which most polls show the American public accepts.
You’ll let us avoid the fiscal cliff — a phrase I’m going to do my best to avoid using from now on. A better phrase, if less elegant, might be, “the totally artificial fiscal construct engineered by our so-called leaders a while back, just in case they hadn’t already assed up the economy quite enough.” But I digress.
Give them the tax hikes. Look big, look magnanimous, look bipartisan. Be sure at every mention of the tax hikes to talk up the spending cuts and entitlement reforms Obama and the Democrats promised to talk about in a grand bargain down the road. Someday, whenevs, as soon as Obama gets his round tuit in the mail. The important thing is to change the subject.
You’ve been the subject for almost two weeks now, and that’s never a good thing. First of all, the media portray you as idiots and the Democrats portray you as evil. Secondly, then you get out in front of the cameras and do your darnedest to prove them all right. That [REDACTED] has got to stop.
The new subject can be: Why won’t the Democrats agree even just to a serious discussion about the spending reforms we so desperately need? “Have you seen these guys?” The media won’t go along, of course, but at least you’ll have changed the subject.
Later, you can talk about something else: Where are the revenues?
You know and I know (and even Obama knows) that increasing the top marginal tax rate won’t come even close to getting our fiscal house in order. At best, it’s like plugging a broken dam with a damp sponge. At worst, it’s like fighting a forest fire by wandering around in the woods with lighter fluid on your nads.
So next summer, next fall, that’s the new new subject: Where are the revenues?
And there’s a third subject that will fall nicely into place: Where are the jobs?