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An Open Letter to the GOP Leadership

November 19th, 2012 - 10:25 am

Your line of attack could go something like this:

We gave the Democrats their taxes. They already got ObamaCare, which we said would kill jobs. They already got Dodd-Frank, which we said would strangle credit and small banks. They got their vindictive EPA, which we said would sit on the economy like Paul Prudhomme sits on a Barcalounger after downing that third quart of sausage gumbo. We told you this wouldn’t work, and it hasn’t. And it won’t.

You might want to tidy up the language some, but you get the idea. The problem is, you can’t open this line of attack so long as your “obstructionism” is what everybody is talking about. It’s not like the economy can get too terribly much more messed up than it already is, by raising the top rate to where it was during the Clinton years. And if we do walk off that fiscal cliff on January 1, we all know who will get the blame: You guys.

Will it be true? No. But I’ve seen the GOP leadership — that’s you, remember? — in action against the Democrats these last two years, and you guys couldn’t dodge a spitball if it were shot at you from across a football field by an asthmatic spider monkey with glaucoma.

So give them what they want. Change the subject.

I’m afraid the reason you’re afraid to try this tact is you’re secretly afraid that Obamanomics will work, given enough time. You’re worried that somehow, alienating job creators and sucking money out of the creative economy and hijacking the healthcare industry and enshrining Too Big to Fail and outlawing coal and all the rest will somehow eventually create a bunch of jobs and balance the budget and stuff.

Well, for goodness sake, ladies and gentlemen of the Soon-To-Be-Permanent GOP Minority: At least pretend to have the courage of the convictions you pretend to hold. I mean, the Democrats (and Nixon) tried this stuff in the ’60s and ’70s, and all it gave us was stagflation and disco and velour neckties. Today the left has things so screwed up, that the Fed can’t even kick off a scathing round of inflation when it tries to.

Really, the only big difference between now and 1980 is, you somehow managed to [REDACTED]ing lose to Jimmy [SO VERY REDACTED]ing Carter this time around. The GOP managed to help get a second term for a guy with a broken economy and a dead ambassador and all the rest, who ran for reelection on a platform “the other guy is teh suck.” Do you understand how epic a fail that is? You must understand after November 6 that whatever you’ve been doing, it’s not working.

I didn’t want it to come to this, but it has. So take my advice, please. Because you can’t afford to be the subject any more.

And we can’t afford it, either.

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