Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Oscar

Ford had best find a buyer for Volvo before too many people get a gander at this abomination. Or maybe just shut down Volvo in its entirety and call it a “mercy killing,” which is probably legal in Sweden. If not, Stockholm will make it legal if they ever see what Ford has done to their baby.

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What I want to know is, exactly how many committees were involved in designing that front end, why did no one provide them with one another’s contact information, who told the CAD programmer to take the results and “just wing it,” why were the executives in charge of preproduction vehicles all on vacation that week, who stole their emergency cell phone contact information, what drugs was everybody involved on, how much do they cost, do they go well with red wine, and where can I get some?

Also, I want to see that car from the rear end in the exact same way I’d like Rosie O’Donnell to moon me — while she’s suffering apoplexy.

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