“Backdoor draft?”

Sounds like a medical condition, and an icky one at that.

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“Any attack will be met with a serious response.”

What about acting proactively, to prevent attacks? See the previous post to see why I disagree with this.

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“A threat that is real and eminent”

So much for preemptive war — a goddamn tragic necessity in the age of terror.

John Kerry isn’t serious about this war. Iraq was a battle, not the war. He won’t initiate any other battles; he’ll only respond. He just said so.

Nobody who is serious about protecting the US today can vote for this guy.

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“I will wage this war with the lessons I learned in war.”

To get out in three months?

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“It was the worst day we have ever seen, but it brought out the best in all of us.”

Now that’s good stuff, and it included a (throw-away, admittedly) tribute to George Bush. Then Kerry says, “How we wish it had stayed that way.”

Again — smart. But completely unrealistic. Politics has never stopped, not even during war, in this country’s history.

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“We still know how to fight for our country…”

Now that we’ve almost forgotten how we once accused it’s entire armed forces of being war criminals.

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“She’s down to earth…”

Kerry on Heinz-Kerry.

Now, I like Teresa. But “down to earth” is about the last way I’d describe her, unless the two of us were getting drunk on Bloody Marys some Sunday morning, being all ironic and cursing the servants.

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Finished the wine. Time to go pour a martini.

Amuse yourselves in the Comments for a couple minutes, and let me know if I missed anything.

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Paging Dan Drezner — Kerry went on the attack on outsourcing.

On the other hand, “We can do better” is a pretty damn good tag line.

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“I will appoint an attorney general who will uphold the Constitution…”

Oh, boy. You know I’m know John Ashcroft fan, but the AG has simply been enforcing the lousy PATRIOT ACT that Kerry voted for.

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“I will restore trust and credibility to the White House. I ask you to judge me by my record.”

That just opened a senatorial can of worms Kerry had best leave closed.

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“We did [change the world], but we’re not finished.”

If the Baby Boomers want to keep changing the world, I’m booking myself a one way flight on SpaceShipOne.

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“I am determined to restore that pride to all who look to America.”

Translation, please.

Anyone?

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“Full equality for women…”

And he’s trying to unseat a wartime president whose National Security Advisor is female?

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“I was born in the West Wing.”

Oh, boy.

His delivery so far is pretty good. But we’ve already seen (the video) and heard (from everyone) his biography. Let’s get to the meat.

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“Home… home… home…”

He rushed that part, but I blame it on nerves. And “rushed” is better than “sonorous.”

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“I’m John Kerry, and I’m reporting for duty.”

Not only was that cheap and tacky (like his tie, which is at least expensive), but he delivered a limp-writsted salute.

Wish I were TiVoing this, because I’d love to provide a screenshot.

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A man shouted “ooooh!” and spit flew out of his mouth.

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Hermes ties just ain’t what they used to be.

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Kerry looks good. He looks loose.

This might not be as bad as I feared.

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So much for my traffic tonight — InstaPundit has an open comments thread for the Kerry speech.

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We’ve got thunder and lightning.

If we do lose power here, even momentarily, I make this solemn vow:

I’ll light some candles, sit in my Dad Chair with a martini, and ask myself, “What convention speech?”

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One of Kerry’s former boatmates says, “When your whole future, your life, depends on the decisions of one man…”

Whatever happened to multilateralism?

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I gotta admit, hearing Kerry’s boatmates speak well of him is pretty moving.

Those two must have been the two Kerry never said committed any war atrocities.

NOTE: I’m still on the wine. Wait’ll we get into the martinis.

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“Kerry was born in 1943 — the world was at war.”

That’s Morgan Freeman, lending his always-stirring voice to the Kerry bio movie.

“Green was born in 1969 — America was embroiled in Vietnam.”

That’s a non sequiter. How’s it different from Morgan Freeman? I don’t type nearly as well as Freeman speaks.

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Glenn Reynolds launches a small shot across the bow of Andrew Sullivan…

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One of the Kerry Girls is talking. Not a bad “Here’s Why I Love Dad” speech, really. Just one complaint: Did the opening have to be so… breathless?

For a minute there, I thought I was listening to a romance novel on tape.

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