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Monthly Archives: April 2002

Well, They Are Both Jewish

April 26th, 2002 - 12:10 am

Has Krauthammer been reading PejmanPundit?

Pounds the Hammer:

This time, however, it is more sophisticated. It is not a blanket hatred of Jews. Jews can be tolerated, even accepted, but they must know their place. Jews are fine so long as they are powerless, passive and picturesque. What is intolerable is Jewish assertiveness, the Jewish refusal to accept victimhood. And nothing so embodies that as the Jewish state.

Just yesterday the Pej-Man wrote:

This article makes clear the difference between today’s Jews, and Jews of the past: When faced with persecution, today’s Jews stand up and fight back

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Even Though She Probably Won

April 26th, 2002 - 12:07 am

Engagement Photo We here at VodkaPundit usually try to keep things a little bit lighter and a little bit funner on Fridays. In fact, we cry havoc and let loose the dogs of bad grammar. Plus, I

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The Sadism of Poetry and Vice-Versa

April 26th, 2002 - 12:03 am

Sean Kirby must drink as much as I do. When I drink, I just get glared at by cute cocktail waitresses

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April 26th, 2002 - 12:02 am


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Priceless Humor

April 26th, 2002 - 12:01 am

Stacy turned me on to this collection of MasterCard parodies.

Not exactly safe for work, but live a little, will you?

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Mikey Eats Everything

April 25th, 2002 - 3:58 pm

Alert Reader Scott Maffett forwards this Ithaca Journal story to me.

The New York State Green Party (no relation), wants to run Stupid White Man Michael Moore for governor.

Guys, have you seen Michael lately? I don’t think you could get him up to a trot, much less a run.

Seriously, this might be a great idea. Mike’s mammoth ego gets him into the race, (“Surely, I can out-poll Grampa Munster!”), where he is publically humiliated on a scale the blogosphere just can’t (yet) provide.

Run, Mikey, run!

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Those Wascally Egyptians

April 25th, 2002 - 3:52 pm

Always morally upstanding, Egypt’s Prime Minister says his nation would never go to war with Israel.

Well, not unless someone else picks up the tab. That’s right, for a mere hundred billion bucks, you, too, can rent out the entire Eqyptian Army.

I wonder how certain fools will try to finesse this story?

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Wonder Twins Of Evil?

April 25th, 2002 - 3:45 pm

Sol Ezekiel sends me this.

As soon as the Coke stops gushing forth from my nose, maybe I’ll make a wisecrack. Meantime, just click the link.

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A Very Public Spanking

April 25th, 2002 - 3:39 pm

I usually keep it civil in here, but some idiocy is just so intolerably idiotic, that its author needs to be verbally slapped around.

So I need to speak bluntly now.

Jamese, exactly how stupid and self-hating are you? No, really. I’m not being facetious, or trying to use comic effect. I want to know just how shallow your brain is.

In response to my little post regarding Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah’s oil threat to the United States, you posted this in my comments area:

Just a wild guess, but that sort of belligerent bullying is probably part of the reason that billions of people in this world loathe America. Explaining to him why it’s in his best interests to remain Dubya’s loyal puppy is one thing, but outright threats should he choose any other course of action is a little pathetic.

The de facto ruler of an oil-rich theocracy threatens the jobs (and, implicitly, lives) of the people of the world’s oldest continuously-functioning democracy, should we not cut back our support for the Middle East’s only democracy.

The next day, an amateur pundit sitting in his basement, with power over no one but a cat, reminds said leader which country holds most of the trump cards.

And you think I’m the threat, Jamese? You are so lacking in thought, so reflexively anti-American, so knee-jerk deep in self-hatred for having a decent life in a decent country (Canada), that you cannot distinguish the powerful from the powerless.

You are unable or unwilling to distinguish between freedom and theocracy, between wealth borne of work and wealth borne of luck, between decency and thuggery, between the victim and the victimizer.

The US gave you Gloria Steinem and Camille Paglia.

Saudi Arabia gives you the abaya.

The US gave you the constitutional republic.

Saudi Arabia gives you sharia.

The US gave you freedom of — and from — religion.

Saudi Arabia presents never-ending jihad.

Free press/al-Jazeera. Gay civil unions (and someday marriage)/gay executions. Sexual revolution/female genital mutilation. NAFTA/OPEC. Free elections/Idle rich royalty. Democrats vs Republicans/Political parties are outlawed. Supports democracy in the Holy Land/Pays bounties for suicide bombers.

Need I go on? Do you get it yet? You can no longer make any claim of ignorance. Let’s see if you’re still as stupid tomorrow.

Your comments, should you wish to make them, will be welcome here. But you won’t be coddled; not by me. I will no longer suffer fools gladly, just because they read my work.

As Bush might tell Abdullah this afternoon — I’m sorry I had to do that, but you left me no choice.

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Attack of the Uncloned

April 25th, 2002 - 11:31 am

HillaryCare killers Harry and Louise are back, this time ripping up the proposed ban on science. Check out Dan Pink’s for a partial transcript of the new spot.

No word yet on getting Thelma & Louise ads in support of legalizing gay marriages — but I’m hoping.

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He Won’t Beg For Sex, But For Uthant…

April 25th, 2002 - 11:14 am

After waiting patiently for over a month, haven’t we earned fresh Uthant?


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Test Schmest

April 25th, 2002 - 10:50 am

There’s a Which Bowie Are You quiz out there, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to share my results on that one. Take it yourself.

And whatever you guessed for me, you’re wrong.

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I’ll Have Whatever He’s Drinking

April 25th, 2002 - 10:40 am

Juan Gato is sitting on my barstool, but at least he does it well:

I think I’m going to play a drinking game. If President Bush calls Abdullah a “man of peace”, I’m going to be driven to drink.

I know Prof is supposed to be the bad cop to my good cop on the Wobble Watch, but I’m going to be one paranoid optimist while Royal Pain Abdullah is in Crawford.

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New Blogger

April 25th, 2002 - 10:14 am

Thanks to Glenn for showing the way to Chris Seaman’s Unilateral Commission.

A damn fine blog, especially his most recent post on the interesting times we live in.

NOTE: I thought I’d bloggrolled Tanya’s Red Sugar about a million years ago, but I hadn’t. That’s all fixed now.

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Stryke Against Optimism

April 25th, 2002 - 10:05 am

Pejman wants the best for Iran. I want the best from Iran. We’re both optimists.

Sarge isn’t. And it makes for fine reading.

It’s always nice when people do what you expect them to do, but it rarely ever happens.

This is what overconfidence looks like. It also betrays a lack of understanding of the region and its politics. I see a lot of book smarts there, but there’s not much in the way of street smarts. Knowledge is fine, but knowledge plus experience equals wisdom. Knowledge, detached from practical experience, is merely information. Information plus overconfidence equals foolishness.

Here’s why you need to read Sarge every day — he splashes cold water in your face, just when you need it most. I gotta buy that man a beer or seven.

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It’s Fun To Be Right

April 25th, 2002 - 9:34 am

Austin Bay explains why Iran is almost a member of the Axis Of Not Quite So Evil As We First Thought.

But more importantly, why the current Iranian regime won’t last:

Most of the under-35s in Iran have had it with the religious tyrants. Iran’s young don’t remember Khomeini’s revolution. The Shah and the Pahlavi clan may or may not look good, but the Council of Guardians’ brutality is current news, the cultural straight-jacket of clerical puritanism chafes, and the mullahs’ hypocrisy and corruption are self-evident. In some ways, the thief in religious robes is even more repugnant than the usual greased-palm bureaucrat.

A chunk of over-35s no longer care for clerical rule, either. To describe the clerics’ economy as “stagnant” is a multi-decade understatement.

The division exerts a paralyzing effect on Iranian internal politics. The Islamist autocrats know they can’t hammer on the reformists too hard. If they do, the “fire will grow higher” — code language for the young taking to the streets.

If this argument sounds familiar, it’s because you read it here first, back in February.

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George Will gets happy about Bush’s domestic policies.

Has Cokie Roberts been blowing him backstage at This Week?

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VP Is Mad Again

April 25th, 2002 - 9:07 am

Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah is expected to warn President Bush that we might lose the Kingdom’s friendship over our support for Israel.

I’m going to say this as nicely as I can: You goddamn stupid motherfucker.The Bad Facial Hair of Evil

It was your people, by and large, who attacked us on 9/11.

It was your money, mostly, that financed them.

It is your creed, completely, that turns little girls into suicidal killers.

And then there’s our side.

It’s our money that keeps you in Scotch, whores, and palaces.

It’s our weapons that keep you in power.

It’s our army that could have you packing for Switzerland by July.

You do not want to back us into a corner, capice? Are we clear now, Princey-poo?

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Beauty and the Least

April 25th, 2002 - 8:59 am

Bill Safire pulls one of his best stunts in ages — slyly getting off-the-record-remarks on the record, without breaking any promises.

Also, he demonstrates there clearly is a serious policy rift between Condi Rice and Colin Powell.

But you knew that already.

This site believes Powell would be the perfect king for a mythical land where all is well and peaceful. The people could admire his sagacity and strength from afar, and there would be no messy international problems to soil his reputation. His background and bearing would bring peoples of all colors and creeds together in harmony.

Condi Rice is the kick-ass, take-charge charmer you want running the show in the sometimes brutal world we actually inhabit.

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California Governor Gray Davis (or is it Davis Gray?) has figured out how to buy his re-election this fall — using state tax dollars, no less. A plan this brilliant could only come from the same man who lost millions and millions in a deal with Enron.

Gray (or Davis) thinks the state government should pay reparations to minorities. Forget that California admission to the Union as a Free State so shocked the South that it help start the Civil War. Also try to forget that in California, whites will soon be the minority. And this is really, really pushing it, but forget that “justice” cannot be served by taxing a ficticious blood libel to reward an equally fictional blood nobility.

If Davis’ (or Gray’s) plan goes through, he’ll have bought damn near half the votes in his state. And if he can get just his immediate white family to vote for him, too, then he’ll return to Sacremento next year.


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Stop Making Sense

April 24th, 2002 - 9:01 pm

Asparagirl writes another brilliantly questioning post on Middle East war crimes this evening.

There’s just one problem — she makes the mistake of thinking rationally.

That doesn’t play well in Palestine, Brooke. Nor does reason play well in academia. Ironic, no?

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Get Me Some Of That!

April 24th, 2002 - 8:55 pm

VP Tile Coasters.  Sharp!Don’t forget to buy yourself some lovely, made in America (sort of), un-PC VodkaPundit products.

Some proceeds go to support my Web Administratrix Stacy, who does all the lovely design work around here. The rest I’ll spend on booze and steaks and damn fine cigars.

Look at the hot new tile drink coaster. A steal for just five bucks, and guaranteed to last until it breaks or something.

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Poetry Wednesdays

April 24th, 2002 - 8:09 pm

Just one more Dorothy Parker.

Portrait of the Artist

Oh, lead me to a quiet cell
Where never footfall rankles,
And bar the window passing well,
And gyve my wrists and ankles.

Oh, wrap my eyes with linen fair,
With hempen cord go bind me,
And, of your mercy, leave me there,
Nor tell them where to find me.

Oh, lock the portal as you go,
And see its bolts be double….
Come back in half an hour or so,
And I will be in trouble.

Make mischief wherever you are, kids. And no need to apologize for it, either.

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The Thrill Of… Something

April 24th, 2002 - 5:57 pm

Straight PutterEverybody sent me this link from the LPGA today, but I hesitated to do anything with it.

Not out of fear of bad taste — please! I just figured it had been done to death already. But if decorum won’t stop me, why should repetition?

“I don’t know if she’s a lady, but she sure looks like a professional.”

“You can tell she isn’t married.”

“See? Not all female athletes are gay.”

“I said ‘say, ahh,’ damnit.”

“That photographer is ruining my concentration.”

“To get past the glass ceiling, you have to…”

“The camera adds at least ten pounds.”

Feel better?

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Pope Coward II

April 24th, 2002 - 4:03 pm

Catholic Church orders, “Don’t you ever molest children! Again. And this time we mean it.”

Today’s vocabulary word is “schism.” Can you say schism, boys and girls? How about, “American Catholic Church”?

Or maybe, “Pope Incorrigible I“?

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Happy Secretaries Day

April 24th, 2002 - 3:53 pm

Some women have forgotten — or never knew — how to accept a gift of flowers graciously.

Susanna Cornett isn’t one of them.

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Not a Paid Endorsement

April 24th, 2002 - 3:36 pm

Blogger is working as hard today as a Saudi prince in an easy chair with a fresh Scotch, a fluff girl, and 18 well-mannered servants bearing tasty foodstuffs.

Glenn, I don’t know how much you’re paying Ev for Blogger “Pro,” but it’s double what you’re getting in service.

Talk to Stacy about HostMatters. For 25 bucks a month, I get InstaPundit-worthy bandwidth, and enough server space to upload extremely high resolution pictures of my ass, just in case I ever want to virtually moon the entire French people.

And tell Ev to bite me.

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Carry On, Sailors

April 24th, 2002 - 3:18 pm

I forgot to salute the fine men and women of the USS Cole, out of drydock and back on duty.

We’re proud of you guys.

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Simplese Evil

April 24th, 2002 - 3:13 pm

Sean Kirby posts on the rise and rise of anti-Semitism and neofascism in France. It’s must-reading for anyone who thinks (to corrupt Sinclair Lewis) it can’t happen there.

It can. It is. Sean says the new danger isn’t to European Jews — Hitler made sure there aren’t enough left to bother with. The new danger is a major western nation exporting its violence to Israel — or even to our shores.

It’s been done once before.

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Nuke Gay Whales For Jesus

April 24th, 2002 - 2:30 pm

Richard S. tipped me off that there’s some great stuff on the GDP and the environment on Sophimata today.

Long story short: Dollar for dollar, we pollute less than India or China, which is no real surprise. But we also put out less icky stuff per buck than supposed Countries That Care like Germany, Japan, and even Canada.

Wonderful intellectual ammo. It’s not fair to use 155mm artillery shells against pocket knives — but do you really care about fairness?

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