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Monthly Archives: April 2002

Unremitting Satire

April 30th, 2002 - 10:33 pm

Stand back, Megan. Andrew, take the day off.

Will Warren called dibs on Paul Krugman, and the result is . . . appropriately biting.


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Vent That Spleen and Other Handy Organs

April 30th, 2002 - 8:01 pm

A certain someone with connections in the broadcast/cable business shares a sweet little something with us this evening.

Remember the story yesterday about the Saudis getting rebuffed in their attempts to buy US airtime for propaganda? Yeah, didn’t that suck?

Seriously, the ad company representing the House of Sod (thanks, Lileks) is Creative Cable TV. You can contact the head of the firm, Barbi, simply by clicking here.

I thought you might want to share your thoughts about the Saudis being our “partners against terrorism.”

15 out of 19, kids. Why, that’s almost half.

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April 30th, 2002 - 7:51 pm

Saddam Hussein is now 65 years old, and thus eligible for Social Security, Medicare, and other benefits.

Raise your hand if you’re in favor of mandatory retirement for the Big Cheese, courtesy of the United States Armed Forces.

I see you, Em — raising both hands won’t make me count your vote twice.

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And He Has Bad Hair

April 30th, 2002 - 2:24 pm

The InstantMan calls William Kristol a big, fat liar. Well, not quite those words, but close enough.

Hell, I’ve been saying the same thing since I first read one of his “national greatness” columns in The Weekly Standard.

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Rocky Mountain Bloggers

April 30th, 2002 - 1:24 pm

OK, kids — time to have more fun than Robert Fisk wearing a Star of David among a pack of angry Palestinian teenagers.

Yeah, I’m talking about the First Occassional Rocky Mountain Area Blogger Bash.

When: Saturday, May 25.

Where: That’s what we’re going to find out.

We’ll be doing this in Denver because it’s centrally located, there are plenty of places to stay for those of us who will need to crash, and it’s got the best damn bars between KC and Reno.

So I’m asking for your suggestions. Jeff, Ben, Diana, all of you — where would be a lovely place for some decent food and first-rate cocktails?

Vote here.

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Louis, Louis

April 30th, 2002 - 1:05 pm

Britain’s courts ruled today that they can still ban Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan from entering the UK.

Over here, the man is a citizen, and we have a Constitution that requires us to let him come and go as he pleases. And that’s fine with me — because we also have a First Amendment that allows us to hold the racist liar up to all the ridicule we can muster.

What a country.

NOTE: I get somed odd thrill linking to Yakov Smirnoff’s website. The resiliency and tolerance that lets a washed-up one-note comedian run a successful dinner theater is why we’ll win this war. If Yakov can’t be kept down, then neither can the rest of us.

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“We Only Think Most Jews Are Pigs”

April 30th, 2002 - 12:56 pm

Last night, I considered taking on the story about Saudi flaks trying to buy commercial time on American cable networks.

But I figured Steve at Happy Fun Pundit could do it better.

He did. Check it out.

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One Follicular Quibble

April 30th, 2002 - 12:34 pm

My results:

You are an Andrew Sullivan.
You are not afraid to share your political views with everyone in candid and clear ways.
You may also be making some money… one day.

Take the What Blogging Archetype Are You test at GAZM.org

Fine. Great. I’m flattered, really. I mean, Andrew is the blogman and all.

But I still have much better hair.

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Picking Fights

April 30th, 2002 - 12:18 pm

Matt Groening is what you get if you took the good parts of Michael Moore and Ted Rall, and combined them (with a lot of needed filler) into one human being.

If you aren’t familiar with his alt-weekly comic strip, Life Is Hell, go pick up your local alt weekly and start reading it, pronto.

I’m pretty damn sure you’re already familiar with Matt’s other baby. A little TV show called The Simpsons. It’s been running for over a dozen years now, and seems to have a few devoted fans here and there.

But now Matt Groening says the end may be near for Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, & Maggie.

From the Financial Times story:

“I think we are closer to winding it up,” he says. “Although what happens generally if we win the Emmy for best animation show is that that gives us another couple of years to run it into the ground.”

Matt is right. And they should have cancelled the series two seasons ago.

Don’t get me wrong — there have been some classic episodes the last two years. There was the one, uh. . .well, and. . .let’s face it, the show has been pretty lame.

When Matt left to work full-time on Futurama, and the late, great Phil Hartman went to work for God personally, The Simpsons suffered greatly. I mostly watch now out of habit. Better to have killed it off at the top of its game (seasons Ten and Eleven were among the Best. Seasons. Ever.), than to let it suffer the long, slow decline it’s in now.

It would be a mercy killing, really.

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Killing Bambi Is Good For You

April 30th, 2002 - 11:46 am

Link via Drudge.

AP reports that a New York couple who had their baby girl on a strict vegetarian diet have been charged with child endangerment. The 16-month-old girl weighed only ten pounds.

I have to go on a very old rant of mine now.

Forget that god fellow and his orders that we lord it over the animals. Please. Theological debate is a lot like masturbation — fun but useless. Instead, let’s look at the basic design of the human animal.

Our eyes are both in the front of our head, giving us stereoscopic vision. This is a feature found in predators — animals who hunt and kill. Vegetarians, like cows, have eyes on the sides of their heads to give them a wider view, in order to better spot creatures like us coming.

Our teeth include incisors and canines designed for tearing flesh. And just listen to the name “canine.” Ever seen a pack of dogs hunting carrots? Furthermore, we don’t have the thick enamal you find on herbivore teeth; all that fiber chewing requires it.

One does not need opposable thumbs to munch flowers. One needs opposable thumbs to make and wield a spear.

Our digestive systems don’t deal very well with nothing but vegetable matter. If you’re sitting next to someone eating a Beans & Grass Burrito, I suggest you sit upwind.

“Oh, but it’s cruel to the animals.” Yeah, and the animals are cruel to each other. I’ll give up steak just as soon as Lucy Lion gives up gazelles. Lucy is made for killing, and so am I.

“We have pills to replace what we miss not eating meat.” You’ll disdain the science of nutrition if it has fur, but not if it has a lab coat? If you’re going to rely on science, then rely on science. And science damn well proves that we’re omnivores.

Herbs are for flavor — meat is the meal.

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The Face Sure Rings a Bell

April 30th, 2002 - 12:59 am

Is Kent Brockman reporting for CNN?

You make the call.

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It’s Nothing Personal, Just Business

April 30th, 2002 - 12:50 am

To the person who wrote (with a bad email address) and asked — yes, I have been ignoring National Review Online.

When they get rid of the pop-up ads, I’ll start directing my meager traffic there again. Also, their new look just really turns me off.

Hurry, Jonah — all I get to read of Vic Hanson is InstaPundit outtakes.

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April 30th, 2002 - 12:35 am

The reliably befuddled Nick Kristof on progress in the Arab world:

Early Muslim objections to printing presses, radios and international travel are now forgotten.

However, mullahs have yet to rule on accepting indoor plumbing, go-go dancing, and the law of gravity.

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So It

April 30th, 2002 - 12:34 am

Also in today

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Same Bat-Time

April 30th, 2002 - 12:29 am

The Wall Street Journal hopes my hope, that Bush is stringing the Arabs along to gain time to mobilize against Saddam:

This is some diplomatic dance, and if it has everyone confused we can only hope that’s the point. The President’s critics worry that all of this shows a man who can’t decide among his strong foreign-policy advisers. But Mr. Bush has shown no little skill at co-optation, as he did for example in maneuvering the U.S. out of the ABM Treaty last year.

Everyone said that would never happen because the whole world opposed it. Yet somehow after September 11 and several Bush meetings with Russian President Vladimir Putin, that opposition melted away. Michigan Democrat Carl Levin still doesn’t know what hit him.

It’s possible Mr. Bush is playing a similar game now. Maybe he’s keeping his eye on the main prize, which is deposing Saddam Hussein, but in the meantime feels he must play a balancing act in Palestine. So Mr. Powell is his good cop, tasked with mollifying the Arabs until the campaign against Iraq becomes inevitable. The President lets Mr. Sharon do enough to defend his country from suicide bombers but not so much that it inspires an anti-American Arab revolt. It’s worth pointing out that this view of events is also the one many Arabs themselves seem to believe.


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See Fred Opine

April 30th, 2002 - 12:28 am

C. Fred Bergsten says the US needs to shackle itself to the EU, because we’re too strong and nimble on our own:

But the bigger adjustment may be required on this side of the Atlantic. The United States is the only military superpower. Its economy, at least for now, is the world’s strongest. Why would it want or need to share power with anyone?

The answer is simple. Precisely because of its military superiority, and the need to act by itself on some occasions in that domain, the United States will inevitably be charged with unilateralism for the foreseeable future. Those charges are particularly acute at present due to the strong differences in transatlantic views on the Arab-Israeli conflict, Iraq and even the next steps in the campaign against terrorism.

During a US history class a dozen years and three cities ago (bear with me, this is relevant), we learned of President Jackson

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Off the Scopes

April 30th, 2002 - 12:25 am

Northrop Grumman will be building stealthy ships for the US Navy.

Smaller, and able to work closer to shore, the new DD-21 (destroyer) program vessels (later to include cruisers) will also be optimized for getting special forces soldiers ashore.

Pretty cool, and you can see prototype drawings here and here.

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Shlomo Wants To Know

April 30th, 2002 - 12:06 am

The Jerusalem Post

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Brit Wit

April 30th, 2002 - 12:03 am

Three Oxford students have a blog devoted to international relations, and politics on our side of the pond. It

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Brought To You By the Letter

April 30th, 2002 - 12:01 am

The Times (UK) reports:

Unarmed British police and prison officers risk becoming

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April 29th, 2002 - 10:38 pm

I wasn’t hit by a cab, nor was I suffering some debilitating hangover. Just decided to take a day off and relax a bit. Hell, I even watched a little TV for once.

Then I realized that TV still sucks, and I really ought to get back to blogging.

Working on tomorrow morning’s stuff as we speak.

NOTE: Melissa and I topped off a perfect birthday weekend by picking up our wedding bands this morning. Cool.

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Infamous Last Words

April 26th, 2002 - 11:36 am

Kevin has new cheesecake at the top of his Large American Penis. Red hair, black velvet collar, and calves that could crush my head like a grape.

Enjoy the link — it

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That Old Gag

April 26th, 2002 - 11:27 am

Grasshoppa tells an old joke, but it’s a good one and he tells it pretty well.

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Superhero Theme (Continued)

April 26th, 2002 - 10:59 am

Ever notice that you never see Jane Galt and Megan McArdle in the same room together?

Well, now you can see both of her in the latest Mark Steyn column.

Congrats, Megan. Or Jane. Whoever you are…

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Take That, Osama

April 26th, 2002 - 10:44 am

This site claimed almost two months ago that US economic growth for 2002 would beat the Treasury Department’s expectations.

Now it seems the economy might out-do even my Rosey Scenario, and by no small measure, either. The AP reports Q1 growth at a damn near 6% annual rate.

Still laughing at my suggestion to buy a cheap index fund? Eventually, the markets — and corporate bottom lines — will notice.

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Scary Stuff, Kids

April 26th, 2002 - 10:19 am

Super VodkaPunditThe Hero Machine lets you make yourself over as a superhero.

Allow me to introduce — Super VodkaPundit!

Sorry I had to give him a gun, but there was no option for a martini glass. Also notice I’m not overcompensating with some giant techno laser gun. Read into that whatever you like.

Does the poison symbol represent vodka or my pen, you ask? Yes, of course it does.

That’s not an ammo belt I’m wearing. Those are test-tube shots of Bacardi Select.

Thanks to Stacy for the great find. Fun fun fun!

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F-39A Shapeshifter?

April 26th, 2002 - 9:51 am

Steve Cole reports some very interesting news coming out of DARPA.

You might have heard of the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency before. Back in the ’60s, they studied ways to create a communications network that could survive a nuclear war. The result was ARPANET. It eventually evolved into the Internet.

Now DARPA is looking into Air Force jets that could change shape in flight.

No, really.

I cringe every time I watch Broken Arrow, and they put the plane into “stealth mode.” A plane is either stealthy, or it is not. But maybe not for too much longer.

Check it out.

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How To Host An Invasion

April 26th, 2002 - 9:19 am

Gen. Tommy Franks claims we’ll need 200,000 troops and four or five divisions to conquer Iraq.

Either that’s misinformation to make Saddam think we’ll need a longer build-up time, or Franks isn’t planning very imaginitively.

This site argued back in February that the equivalent of two divisions, combined with a few Turks and/or indigenous units, ought to be more than sufficient.

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Something Else You Didn

April 26th, 2002 - 12:24 am

Watched a very funny Will & Grace last night. Discovered that Michael Douglas is just as creepy as a gay man as he is straight.

Does that make Catherine Zeta-Jones the world

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Dan Explains It All

April 26th, 2002 - 12:13 am

Dan Henninger puts things so clearly, so simply, that even an addle-brained Canadian can understand.

The people of the United States should take solace, even pride, in the fact that their views on the violence in the Middle East are completely at odds with the opinions of the United Nations, the continent of Europe and most of their own media.

It only gets better. Check it out.

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