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Works and Days

Let’s Save California Now!

February 16th, 2014 - 3:41 pm

9. The One-percenter Politician Act

The so-called “Pelosi and Feinstein Act” orders the California Franchise Tax Board to ascertain the incomes of all spouses of California federal, state, and local politicians; and taxes all spousal self-employed income of elected officials in excess of $100,000 at a 90% rate. Aim: To ensure that California’s representatives reflect the rich economic diversity and income averages of the state. It also prohibits inside influence peddling on the part of politicians.

10. The Protect the Peregrine Act

The “Friends of Feathers Act” establishes a $1,000,000 fine for the killing of any eagle, hawk, falcon, owl, or protected bird of prey by wind-generation machines or desert solar power plants. Aim: To stop the wind and solar industry from harming natural ecosystem of California.

11. The Petroleum Fair Use Act

The “Pump What You Use Act” establishes a state board to ensure California gasoline consumption matches state oil production. It collates daily refining outputs of California-produced petroleum with daily state sales of gasoline. It cuts off all daily state sales of gasoline that exceed daily state refinery production of state-produced petroleum. Aim: To ensure that Californians only consume the gasoline they produce and thereby do not promote a larger carbon footprint by subsidizing out-of-state oil production not overseen by California resource legislation.

12. The California Fair Automobile Act

The so-called “Malibu Beamer Act” establishes that all imported California vehicles deemed “luxury” (e.g., in 2014 with new sticker prices in excess of $60,000) shall be taxed at a 30% rate for each dollar of sales value over $60,000. Aim: To ensure so-called imported high-performance and luxury cars do not use an inordinate amount of state energy resources, or leave large carbon footprints on the California ecological landscape, or divert collective resources to the individual from the greater needs of the state.

If we were to pass these laws, California would change overnight.

(Artwork created using multiple Shutterstock.com images.)

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Top Rated Comments   
A half century, Malcolm Muggeridge stipulated that there's no way for any satirist to improve upon real life for its pure absurdity. All of us in California are forced to suffer, as Sacramento lives out Muggeridge's Law every day.
23 weeks ago
23 weeks ago Link To Comment
It's only February, and this will probably be the greatest post of 2014 - anywhere.
23 weeks ago
23 weeks ago Link To Comment
Brilliance. Magnificence.
23 weeks ago
23 weeks ago Link To Comment
All Comments   (113)
All Comments   (113)
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Not my responsibility. I decided to "save" myself 30 years ago and moved, never to return.
22 weeks ago
22 weeks ago Link To Comment
You are a diabolical genius.
22 weeks ago
22 weeks ago Link To Comment
I would like to add the California Food Equity Act. Why do the 1% get to shop at Trader Joe's and Whole Foods and the rest make do with chain supermarkets? Every Californian with an income under $20,000 should get a yearly gift card to TJs or WF (their choice) for not less than $1,000. That would improve the diet of the most needy and give a boost to retail for these stores. If you want to get fancy, ban use of the card for soda, snack foods, and sugary desserts.
22 weeks ago
22 weeks ago Link To Comment
The sad thing is I made it to the BB-guns before thinking of satire.
22 weeks ago
22 weeks ago Link To Comment
Such is the absurdity of the age in which we live. It's hard to satirize a "reality" which seems already to be mocking itself.
22 weeks ago
22 weeks ago Link To Comment
Tim Draper filed a ballot initiative in December stating that because of recent social and economic changes California has become “nearly ungovernable.”
He proposed dividing California into six states. San Diego and Orange County would make up “South California.” “West California” would include Los Angeles and Santa Barbara, while Bakersfield, Fresno and Stockton would make up the larger “Central California.” San Francisco and San Jose would be in the new “Silicon Valley.” “North California” would include the Sacramento area, and “Jefferson” would be home to the Redding and Eureka areas.

http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2014/02/petition-to-split-california-into-six-states-gets-green-light/#.UwXr6NBJH6A.facebook
22 weeks ago
22 weeks ago Link To Comment
while I enjoyed the satire, these proposals are probably being seriously studied in the California state house in Sacramento. my proposal is to give California best to Mexico
22 weeks ago
22 weeks ago Link To Comment
What is the sense of moving elsewhere? When Golden Staters re-locate they take their lib-prog voting habits with them. They are the constant reminder of Einstein's theory of insanity.
23 weeks ago
23 weeks ago Link To Comment
I was almost on the floor laughing while I read this. It's brilliant! I'm not sure which proposed law I liked the most.
23 weeks ago
23 weeks ago Link To Comment
Ah let's don't and say we did: governor Moonbeam can do it all for us.
23 weeks ago
23 weeks ago Link To Comment
This is absolutely wonderful!

PJMedia and VDH - can we *please* get these started as CA Propositions? Lots of Conservatives will vote for them, as well as LIV liberals, who don't realize they're being mocked.

How can we find a pro-bono lawyer who will get these suitable for Propositions?
23 weeks ago
23 weeks ago Link To Comment
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