Hillary Watch 2016 – We Read, We Report, So You Can Ignore: The Latest Poll, Extreme Hillary Media Bias and Not Baking Cookies In 1992
On March 7, Quinnipiac University released a national poll that predictably will make most Republicans respond with, “It’s too early.”
However, the poll will make Democrats salivate for 2014 when Hillary will most likely be campaigning during the mid-term elections and testing her own waters, while attempting to assist House Democrats and President Obama achieve their stated lofty goal of winning back Congress.
From the poll press release:
Hillary Clinton would defeat three potential Republican presidential candidates if the 2016 presidential election were held today, with New Jersey Gov. Christopher Christie second in a field of three Democrats and three Republicans selected by Quinnipiac University for a national poll released today.
Vice President Joseph Biden and New York’s Democratic Gov. Andrew Cuomo would not fare nearly as well, the independent Quinnipiac (KWIN-uh-pe-ack) University poll finds.
The Republicans tested also include Sen. Marco Rubio of Florida and U.S. Rep. Paul Ryan of Wisconsin. Former First Lady, Senator, and Secretary of State Clinton wins easily against any of the Republicans, topping Christie 45 – 37 percent; leading Rubio 50 – 34 percent and besting Ryan 50 – 38 percent.
Now, with the release of this national poll here is an outrageous clip I have been saving from a cable show that nobody watches starring, “Mr. Tingle Up My Leg for Obama,” Chris Matthews.
Just in case you can not activate the video here is what is said:
“If you’re watching, Madam Secretary, all three of us have brilliant ideas. All of us have great ideas. And I especially put myself in that group with Joan [Walsh] and David [Corn]. We know how to do this. We’ll get you in there.” (Hardball, February 25, 2013)
Seriously, the GOP is in real trouble for 2016. Our super-sized, popular blue state “front-runner” will have a heck of a time in red state primaries and the media is already in overdrive for Hillary. So here is the question I plan on asking from now until 2016, “How does any of the current crop of 2016 GOP candidates ultimately win 270 electoral votes?”
I have real trouble answering that question, at least for now.
Perhaps as a coping mechanism I should follow the actions of a Republican activist friend of mine. After becoming extremely depressed by Obama’s reelection and the state of the Republican Party, she turned off the news stations and became a big fan of the Food Channel.
My only problem is I hate cooking and Hillary and I share some common ground here. I don’t bake cookies either.
Finally, once again a Message of Full Disclosure:
Hillary Watch 2016 is provided as a public service to PJM readers but the writer will be supporting the 2016 Republican presidential candidate.
(The above disclosure was necessary to run again because several more friends have accused me of being obsessed with Hillary and secretly supporting her in 2016.)
Our caption writers responded very well to our latest Photo Caption Contest with President Obama stating that he is “not a dictator” while acting like dictators act. (Just ask all the school children who will not be visiting the White House this spring.)
We also expect summer reeducation camps to be in session soon, scattering all you “bitter clingers” far and wide, but do not forget that these were the captions that landed you in that bug infested bunk bed.
There were two Grand Prize winners both writers from the royal court of the Caption Kings. The first from RockThisTown, completing the contest sentence:
“I am not a dictator….but if I had a son, he would look like Qaddafi.”
And from cfbleachers:
“I did not have dictatorial relations with that country.”
Big round of applause (but applaud quietly) or RockThisTown and cfbleachers will lose that rotten potato ration from their evening soup.
Here are the rest of the best, but there were so many great ones.
I am not a dictator, as for proof, ask the two thousand illegals I released, they will vouch for me. Donald Eugene
I prefer the title, “Emperor.” Just Jake
…but I play one on TV.” fortibus85
…which is why I have directed my cabinet to change that through bypassing congress and using executive power creatively and aggressively.
..but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express Last night
…but my House is closed until further notice
The three above were submitted by contest newcomer, mike7777777.
“I am not a dictator…..I am a god. See all of my true worshipers bowing before me!” (Points to White House Press Pool.) Scottch
…but i hope to change that. hope’n'change. jlw
“I am not a dictator. I just bow down to them.
“Hey, who put the ‘not’ on my teleprompter?”
The two above were from Chris Henderson. (Hey Chris, where is your dad, Don? No entries from him lately.)
Our two grand prize winning Caption Kings also submitted several more great captions. From cfbleachers:
The difference between a benevolent dictator and a tyrant is…the dictator owns all the storytellers.
“I am not a dictator”….”I have people to do that to give me plausible deniability.”
“I am not a dictator.” And, to prove it, I will empty the prisons… before I fill them.
You MUST buy my government insurance, you MUST not protect your borders, you MUST not question me in the press, you MUST turn in your guns…but, I am not a dictator. You’re thinking too small.
If democracy falls in the forest of complicit media, does the lack of sound mean it didn’t happen?
” . . . except in my dreams.”
The founding fathers simply messed up when they didn’t make me one.”
And finally this caption is a little rough (and sort of breaks the rules) but here it is anyway, submitted by hipdeep:
And the obvious: “Not a dictator; just a dic.”
We will see you next time a photo is worthy of a Tatler Photo Caption Contest and if not, you’ll know where to visit me (and please bring along some gluten free bread.)
Like any proclamation of historical consequence, when President Obama declared on Friday, March 1, “I am not a dictator,” his statement needed time to marinate so we could process that an American president had even uttered those words. But now, days later, I realized that time had arrived after reading Tatler Editor, Bryan Preston’s piece about a new Obama Administration memo proving that they intend to make the sequester cuts hurt as much as possible all the way down the food chain. Bryan called it “going Soviet” and that nicely sums up President Obama’s newest strategy of inflicting unnecessary pain on the American people so he can win political battles against his enemies.
Now, can anyone recall if any American president had ever intentionally tried to do anything like this in our entire history? Certainly, large scale pain has been inflicted on our people in the past, especially during wars, but that was largely due to wartime management or rationing of resources necessary to win.
So the theme of our newest caption contest is President Obama stating that he is “not a dictator” while acting like dictators act.
As difficult as this may be, all caption writers must still stay within the contest rules of “be nice and stay classy because the media is watching.” Here are the winners of our last contest who did that rather well.
Have fun and remember how we used to have a president who once said, “I am not a crook,” and now almost four decades later we have a president who says, “I am not a dictator.”
Now that is progress!
Let’s hear a round of applause for all the brilliant creativity on display in our latest Tatler Photo Caption Contest!
PJM readers who follow this contest know we have a full bench of “Caption Kings” who fiercely compete with each other to proclaim the title of Reigning Caption King.
Now, the winner of this contest commented in early 2013 that he was determined to knock cfbleachers (our first and still greatest Caption King) off his throne. So today I am here to report that the “Mission Accomplished” banner will be flying at the home of RockThisTown after writing this amazing list of winning captions:
“Woodward, you’ll never work in this town again!” – Nixon, 1973 & Obama, 2013.
Nixon: Hated Watergate. Obama: Hates waterboarding.
Nixon: Had 18 minutes of tape missing. Obama: Has almost 18 trillion dollars missing.
Nixon: FBI helped him compile enemies list. Obama: FBI, CIA, DHS, TSA, BATF, IRS, WH staff, Soros, Hollywood & the media helping him compile enemies list.
Nixon: Appointed Burger Chief Justice. Obama: Appointed ketchup-for-brains Secretary of State.
Nixon: ‘You don’t have me to kick around anymore.’ Obama: ‘You’ve never kicked me around.’
Nixon: “The greatest honor history can bestow is the title of peacemaker.” Obama: “The greatest honor history can bestow is the title of flexible.”
History repeats itself: Woodward tells the truth.
History repeats itself: Presidents 37 & 44 threaten Bob Woodward.
Nixon: Had a VP named Spiro. Obama: Has an economy spiraling out of control.
Nixon: Had Elvis as a guest in the White House. Obama: Turned America into Heartbreak Hotel.
Nixon: Brought down by Woodward & Bernstein. Obama: May be brought down by Woodward & smokescreen.
Nixon: ‘I am not a crook.’ Obama: ‘I’m from Chicago, so draw your own conclusion.’
Nixon: Improved foreign relations with China Summit. Obama: Worsened race relations with beer summit.
Congratulations to RockThisTown who really rocked this contest and could easily win a President Nixon trivia contest!
Here are more winning captions and writers who deserve special recognition:
Nixon, you’re from California. You’ve got nothing on me. I’m from the land of Al Capone. Submitted by rbj. (another Caption King)
One visited China and scowled, the other met the Chinese leader and bowed.
One was involved in a 3rd rate burglary, the other in a 3rd rate presidency
Threats: Finally something not above his pay grade.
The Tyrant Sector is doing fine.
From Watergate to 57 states. All five submitted by Chris Henderson (one of our “royal” Caption Kings)
Finally. our Caption King of Kings cfbleachers, (who had better watch his back because RockThisTown means business) weighed in with these winning entries:
Nixon’s White House had the Plumbers, but Obama’s White House has all the leaks.
Bo plays Checkers?
No budget in over four years and $17 trillion in debt, this would have to be called Under Water Gate.
“I am not a crock” (This would make a great bumper sticker.)
Thanks to all who played along and see you next time a photo is worthy of a Tatler Photo Caption Contest.
Note: We encourage contest newcomers to match wits with our Caption Kings!
The subjects of our latest Photo Caption Contest appear today on the Drudge Report with this caption/headline:
Once again, I am counting on Tatler fans to write alternative caption/headlines capturing the essence of the Bob Woodward/Obama Administration dust-up that currently has the chattering class all atwitter.
However, the irony is just too priceless to go unnoticed. Back in 1972, young Washington Post journalists Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein rose to fame helping to bring down a “corrupt” president by the name of Nixon, whose administration was known for intimidating journalists. This famous quote by then Attorney General John Mitchell to Carl Bernstein about his Post publisher Katharine Graham nicely sums up the tension:
All that crap, you’re putting it in the paper? It’s all been denied. Katie Graham’s gonna get her tit caught in a big fat wringer if that’s published.
Now fast forward to 2013.
Here we have Bob Woodward, a famous author and still a Washington Post Associate Editor of a newspaper that outright admitted in its pages on November 7, 2008, the Sunday after the November election that its coverage “tilted toward” electing then Senator Obama (and again more subtly in 2012) now complaining to the media about being intimated by the Obama Administration for disagreeing with them about the origination of the sequester concept.
But, as Christian Adams write today in his PJM piece entitled All the President’s Thugs:
Richard Nixon seems like a fluffy kitten compared to this crowd.
Which brings us back to you, Mr. Woodward. What’s happened when you, of all people, are the bad guy?
OK, enough history and editorializing, let’s get back to the contest at hand.
Have fun, but don’t be too snarky or you’ll land on Obama’s enemies list.
Thanks to all who made our latest contest red carpet worthy. Most of the captions from the huge list of submissions received five stars and made the contest worth sitting through to the very end. Now unfortunately, my usual two man judging panel has abandoned me (one is still mountain climbing in Africa, while the other is at his office making the world a better place) so I am left alone to select the winner from this never ending list of captivating captions. (Poor pitiful me!)
And the winner is..… a long list of A-list captions!
Best Actor goes to cfbleachers. Now watch our “King of the Caption Kings” in action — first with this amazing ten-part caption:
We would like to give the American People the following awards from the White House:
1) Your accumulated wealth: Gone With The Wind
2) Your free speech, especially to denounce Islam: Citizen Caned.
3) Obama’s media and your information stream: The Lyin’ King
4) Securing your borders: Guestbusters
5) California, Illinois and New York fiscal health: The Thin Blue Line
6) Democratic Party booing God and Jerusalem: One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
7) New York Times articles on Obama: Pulp Fiction
8) Gutting the military by sequestration: Apocalypse Now
9) The MSNBC lineup: Snow White and the Seven Mental Dwarfs
10) Obamacare’s many loopholes for cronies: Easy Rider
Then, as an encore, cfbleachers had these three winners:
We finally got gas prices to over $5 per gallon, combined tax rates over 50%, full groping at airports and we are renaming the American people. Les Miserables
We pushed the debt to $17 trillion, but what do we call the loss of $85 billion of it? Skyfall.
And the winner in the complete fiction category…the White House.
Let’s hear it for cfbleachers!
Next, Best Director goes to RockThisTown, another “Caption King” who is determined to dethrone the reigning cfbleachers and nearly did with these brilliant captions:
“Barack sends this message to you beautiful people: his next appointment to the Supreme Court will be . . . George Clooney!”
“Barack and I are thrilled to be a part of fantasy, make-believe, fairy-tale, special-effects-enhanced, big-budget entertainment. And we’re both glad I’m here in Hollywood too.”
“And the nominees for Best Supporting Role in a Fictional Setting are: Jay Carney, David Axelrod, Janet Napolitano, David Chu & John Kerry.”
“And the winner of Best Performance at a National Political Convention is . . . Clint Eastwood! CLINT EASTWOOD!!? OMG! THIS MUST BE A MISTAKE!”
“And the winner for Best Picture is, and btw this is a title Barack and I just love . . . . . . Brokeback America!”
“Barack wanted me to convey his regrets that he couldn’t be here . . . but he’ll finish his golf game in time to watch it on TV.”
“I’m sorry, but in our next category, there’s been a delay in tallying the votes because too many Academy members voted ‘PRESENT’.
“And as a special goody bag gift, you’ll all receive a DVD of Barack’s speeches!”
“To all you losers tonight, don’t despair – next year Barack & I will be glad to share our voter fraud tips with you!”
Best Supporting Actor goes to fortibus85 with seven terrific captions:
“The President and I decided that everyone deserves an award.”
“Please ignore the lack of diversity behind me.”
“See, this is how much Barack and I love our military!”
“I have never been more proud, of myself.”
“My dress needs some sequestration. What? Oh, I think I mean sequins.”
The Newtown Children’s choir wasn’t available to stand behind me.
More security in the frame than at the Benghazi consulate.
Finally, here are the rest of the best:
“Tonight I am wearing this dress to symbolize the awful oppression experienced by the workers of the tin foil mines in South Africa.” Submitted by FailBurton
I’d like to thank the Academy for my Oscar in my fictional portrayal as someone who cares about her country. Submitted by rbj
What does the White House and the Oscars have in common, It’s got a leading man, and a cast of characters you would not believe. Submitted by Donald Eugene
And the “Best Bangs For Our Bucks” award goes to…. Submitted by Chris in N. Va.
“And the winner of the Best Cartoon Character is . . . . Joe Biden!” Submitted by HiPlanesDrifter
Finally, I would like to thank all of you who have ever submitted a caption and see you next time a photo is worthy of a Tatler Photo Caption Contest!
The caption “Obama Crashes Oscars” appeared on the Drudge Report under the photo that is the subject of our latest Tatler Photo Caption Contest. Based on past performances, I know that Tatler fans are capable of writing much better captions, so hop to it!
Now, according to The Hollywood Reporter piece linked to the Drudge Report photo, President Obama’s man in Hollywood, Harvey Weinstein, arranged for Mrs. Obama to make the Best Picture presentation. If you read all the details and back story about how this surprise performance came about, you will also learn this startling revelation:
And when it was pitched to the first lady, Zadan told The Hollywood Reporter that her response was, “Yes, I think it’s a great idea. We watch movies all the time at the White House. Let’s do it.”
Will someone in the White House please define what the First Lady means by “all the time?”
The reason for my curiosity is as follows:
First, consider how much time President Obama spends playing golf, going on vacation, holding or attending parties, and flying around the nation campaigning for the issue du jour. Then combine all those man hours with the statement, “We watch movies all the time at the White House,” and you arrive at the question, “How many seconds are left over for President Obama to do the job he was elected to do?”
Please calculate the answer as you submit your captions.
As usual you must stay within the rules, “be nice and stay classy because the media is watching.”
Here are the winners from our last highly competitive contest, folks who did just that.
Have fun, watch the contest until the end and please no “X rated” comments.
Our latest and very successful Photo Caption Contest was also the most ill- timed as the early captions disappeared into the nether. But all you determined hardy souls rallied and resubmitted your captions without missing a beat. Many thanks for registering under the new PJM comment system and moving ahead to make this contest truly remarkable, not just for content but for character.
There were so many pages of winning captions that choosing one or two was impossible. Then to make matters worse, “The Husband” refused to judge the contest that he instigated and “Dr. Spin” our in-house celebrity judge was mountain climbing in Africa (really) so I was left to judge all alone. Oh well, time to reveal the winners!
First the newcomers, we welcome you and thanks for joining our elite “caption club.”
Bill Reader submitted these two:
The fake diamonds only cost a few dollars, but the man in the middle costs you trillions.
Sized for adults, yet always sold to children.
Donald Eugene submitted several good ones:
With this watch and a quarter you couldn’t buy the time of day.
Finally, a watch that won’t get stolen!
Some people look at their watch for the time, I look at mine for inspiration.
CrankyYankee had these two winners.
The Doomsday Clock goes mobile.
Obama watch with no number, ‘cuz math is hard!
William L Gensert submitted a cleaver winner:
Obama’s plan for dealing with high unemployment is to make people want to punch a clock.
HiPlanesDrifter had this amusing entry:
Introducing the Obama watch, Cher model: it ‘Turns Back Time’ so you forget all the misery he’s caused!
Now here are the loyal, royal “Caption King” winners:
From Chris Henderson:
Who needs a watch? The time is always the “Present!”, “Present!”, “Present!”, “Present!”, “Present!”…(123 more times)…”Present!”
Watch band is as flexible as Obama after an election.
Looks like the President has a new gift to give to dignitaries and Heads of State!
Broken and never right. . . not even twice a day.
Comes with two adjustors: one for regaining lost time spent watching his speeches and the other for moving ahead to a better economy.
Model shown has optional halo.
Comes with hands that spread the wealth . . . all around the dial.
“No animals were harmed in the making of this watch . . . except the dog I ate.”
Takes no licking and keeps on tricking.
The perfect gift for keeping track of how long you can survive until a new President.
Bitter, clinging bling.
The ‘Fairness Watch’ – takes time from those who have a lot & gives it to those who don’t.
From Scottch: (our reigning Caption King winner from the last contest)
Cheap, tacky, doesn’t work, unreliable, knock off, fake, all show but no go….but enough about Obama, let’s talk about this butt ugly watch.
“I’m watching you….from the drone.”
Finally, cfbleachers, the King of all Captions is back on top with a dazzling display of abundant brilliance (and this is only a partial list.)
Only a committed leftist would believe that he could improve a watch by adding another hand… his.
“The diamonds are fake, the leather is fake, and the subject matter makes the trifecta for this watch…The Fauxlex.”
I listened to this watch, very interesting sound. Tic tax, tic tax, tic tax.
A radical leftist watch, it tries to find ways to spend someone else’s time.
The Obama Economy Diving Watch. It’s always under water and it can be taken to depths heretofore unseen.
If it has Obama with his hand reaching out and open, it must be our pocket watch.
Proof positive that time is definitely NOT on our side.
It’s an Obama watch…it’s always running but never works.
Obama has insisted that this is a piece of elry. Removing “Jew” from everything in his life.
A new signature watch from the Obama line. It’s solar powered and under water. We call it the Solyndra.
A perfect watch to remind us that “free time” always comes at a price for having done nothing when we should have been paying attention.
Man and God measure time differently. I am thankful that God’s time doesn’t run out and that some men’s do.
TIME has now run out on this contest. So WATCH for when another photo is worthy of a Tatler Photo Caption Contest and we promise no more vaporizing of early submissions!
Just in time for the Academy Awards this Sunday, the North Koreans have what could be considered a late entry in the Foreign Film category — an action video showing what looks like the aftermath of a nuclear blast featuring President Obama and American soldiers engulfed in flames the Washington Post reports.
President Obama appears for only two seconds (0:52 -0:54) and it looks like footage from the State of the Union with him shaking hands.
NK News has the English translation in case you are wondering what all those Korean subtitles are saying.
Full Transcript (by NK NEWS):
North Korea has succeeded in proceeding with this nuclear test despite the United States’ increasingly unfair bully activities against North Korea. That United States that has no respect to others nor appreciation to equality…
It is not incorrect to state that the United States strong hostility policy and endless violence toward North Korea in the past 70 years has helped North Korea become one of the world’s strongest military power states.
Words spoken by the United States, a country that uses the law of jungle as the law of survival for fitness, is meaningless. As a result, North Korea’s high level nuclear test conducted against American imperialist invaders is a nuclear deterrent that protects our sovereignty.
Thus, the United States has practically guided North Korea towards nuclear testing and therefore needs to be considered as an American virtue.
North Korea’s third underground nuclear test! Let it be known once more that this is strictly our practical counter-measure for North’s safety and to protect its sovereignty from the aggressors. It is also a solemn warning that time is no longer on the side of the United States.
The people are watching. America should answer.
Yes, America should answer, but will we? For our new Secretary of State John Kerry is very busy after giving his first foreign policy speech on climate change.
Perhaps Kerry should take note that North Korea could really “blast open” the climate change debate if not checked.
Last weekend my husband noticed this watch in a Hollywood, Florida hotel lobby store.
Upon seeing it he said, “Have you ever wanted to buy a watch just to smash it?”
I had stepped away so I had no idea what he was talking about until he showed me the Obama watch in the display case of the closed store.
Immediately I exclaimed, “Photo Caption Contest!” and whipped out my smart phone. It was then he said, “You know how I hate to encourage you.” (As I have previously mentioned, my husband is paranoid, for no real reason, of a future letter from that ever popular government agency and the prospect of his wife being carted off to re-education camp because of this contest series and other PJM writings.)
So now that you know the family background, let us begin our newest contest BUT, and I mean BUT, please try to control yourselves because I know what you are thinking when you look at this watch.
Try to abide by our rules of, “be nice and stay classy because the media is watching.” The winners of our last contest did so, but I realize that photo was of a natural occurrence and this photo is of a man-made artifact for sale in a nation watching itself go broke.
Too bad the store was closed because I had all sorts of questions:
What was the price? How long had the watch been sitting in the display case? Did it work properly? Was it a media creation? Was the watch made in China? Could I borrow money from China to buy it? Could I print money to buy it?
Have fun kids, and watch it!
As predicted, I was correct when assuming that Tatler fans would write a better caption than the Drudge Report for the photo that was the subject of our latest and extremely successful Photo Caption Contest. However, I could not have predicted the huge number of captions that exceeded my expectations!
So to celebrate all your creative energy there are three different categories of winners.
The first category is Politically Themed Captions and here are the winners:
Just imagine what I could do if I wasn’t on vacation most of the time. B. Obama. Submitted by weo
A picture of Barack Obama descending to Earth from Mount Olympus. Submitted by David W
After four years of the Obama economy, the US is no longer able to afford to keep the heavens in repair. Submitted by rbj
Obama: “If I was a planet and had a sun, this is what it would look like.” from RockThisTown (a Caption King)
Meteor strikes Russia – Obama adds the country as a stop on his next apology tour and blames Bush. Submitted by Scottch
And this one submitted by Chris Henderson was not exactly a caption, but a winner anyway:
Let’s see: - Smokes - Very dense - Gives off a lot of hot air - Flashy outside, but not much inside - Leads to the destruction of the local economy – But enough about Obama, a meteorite hit Russia.
Our next category is Just Plain Humor and the winners are:
“Somebody get Bruce Willis on the phone!” Submitted by Alyric
Actual CNN headline: Too much Global Warming in Russia attracts asteroids. Submitted by Adi (a Caption King)
(Adi really was quoting CNN but only added Russia to the headline.)
From that wild and crazy Henderson family (Don the father and Chris the son, both Caption Kings) we have these four winning entries:
Of course it’s a movie. It’s Skyfall! Chris Henderson
I’m from [CRATERS R US,] Is this where I break ground?
I just love crashing a Communist party, Molotov cocktail anybody?
To Russia, with love from the Cosmos. All from Don Henderson
Finally, we have the grand winner’s circle of Heavenly Themed Captions. These submissions deserve extra credit because they actually answer the contest question, “So what is the meaning of it all?”
God is not taking the Pope’s retirement easily. Submitted by rbj
Scottch, already an earlier winner, submitted the greatest number of winning Heavenly captions, so Scottch is our Grand Prize Winner with these fabulous entries:
God is apparently NOT amused.
Lightning striking the Vatican, meteorite hitting Russia, another hitting Cuba………Just my way of saying “Can you hear me now? ” ……God
In other late breaking news, for some reason lots of Russians have suddenly gotten religion!
That whole Book of Revelations thing …….no, I wasn’t kidding.
Congrats to Scottch, our new reigning “Caption King.”
But woe to us if we ignore our first and last Caption King of Kings, cfbleachers who submitted the following winners:
You say you want a Revelation, well you know…
Lent. Fast AND Furious.
Lucifer’s Lightnings and Michelangelo’s Meteors take the field for the final game of this World’s Series.
Apparently, Heaven Can’t Wait.
You know, that crazy guy on the street corner may finally be right.
(Yes, that may be true and perhaps the answer to our contest question.)
Thanks for playing along and we will see you all next time a photo is worthy of a Tatler Photo Caption Contest!
Politico breaks a “Hillary Exclusive” this morning that Republicans can choose to ignore at their own peril:
EXCLUSIVE : Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton will hit the paid speaking circuit this spring (likely April or May) and has selected the Harry Walker Agency, which represents President Clinton, as her agent. Industry officials expect that she will be one of the highest paid speakers in the history of the circuit, with fees well into the six figures in the United States and abroad. Secretary Clinton will likely do some speeches for no fee for causes she champions, and expects to occasionally donate her fees for charitable purposes. Clinton, who will maintain her homes in Washington and Chappaqua, is also beginning to make decisions about the book she has said she will write, an account of her four years as secretary of State. Non-profit work will be another component of her new life, perhaps through her husband’s foundation or one of her own.
So here is a new drinking game for Hillary Watch 2016 fans:
Every time Hillary is asked if she is running for president in 2016 and either laughs or says that she has “not yet decided,” you take a gulp of your favorite adult beverage. Now, the real question is, “How many cases of whatever you are drinking do you think you will have consumed by the end of her speaking tour?”
Politico, in the same email (Mike Allen’s Playbook) also has this video gem of Karl Rove responding to the question, “Where Would We Be Today if Hilary Clinton Beat Obama in 2008?”
Rove’s answer is literally a 2016 Hillary for President endorsement.
You just have to see it to believe it.
Message of Full Disclosure:
Hillary Watch 2016 is provided as a public service to Tatler readers but the writer will be supporting the 2016 Republican presidential candidate.
(The above disclosure was necessary because several friends have already accused me of being obsessed by Hillary and secretly supporting her in 2016.)
In response to the tragic news that a meteorite struck Russia resulting in damage and injuries, Drudge Report posted the caption, “This is not a movie,” under the photo that is the subject of our latest Tatler Photo Caption Contest.
Now, as always, I am confident that Tatler fans can, and will, write much better ones. However, there is a theme to our current contest.
Besides a meteorite striking Russia, consider all the other cosmic events that have occurred today and in the last few days:
Lightning struck the Vatican just hours after the Pope announced his resignation. (The subject of our last photo caption contest and here are the winning entries in case you missed the post.)
This afternoon, an asteroid had a record breaking pass by planet Earth, the closest and largest ever recorded.
And now, late today, there are reports that a space rock crashed into Cuba.
So what is the meaning of it all?
Are these four events only a coincidence or is there something more. (Cue Twilight Zone music.)
That is the caption theme our VIP judges will be looking for in the winning entry.
(But of course you are free to write whatever you like!) Just abide by our rules of “be nice and stay classy because the media is watching.”
Have fun and don’t forget to look up to the heavens for inspiration.
This “Obamaville” parody video sung to the tune of Jimmy Buffett’s “Margaritaville” accurately reflects our current State of the Union better than Obama’s speech filled with half-truths and exaggerations. Should the GOP have just aired this video as their official response? There is plenty of water! (Although none to drink.)
Hillary Watch 2016 – We Read, We Report, So You Can Ignore: ‘Hillary WILL run,’ Blabbermouth Bill tells big donor
Hillary WILL run in 2016, claims wealthy Greek donor (who says Bill told him)
Now, as is the policy here at Hillary Watch 2016, we analyze important Hillary headlines and report what they really mean.
Yes, Hillary Rodman Clinton (HRC) is running, and in fact here is my favorite line from the piece:
Hillary Clinton’s political plans are considered the worst kept secret in Washington.
But the wildcard in the next few years, while HRC is catching up on sleep and writing her book, is Big Blabbermouth Bubba Bill.
The former president is so excited about his prospect of re-entering the White House that he will be almost uncontrollable.
Here is the latest example from the Daily Mail piece:
Sacramento developer Angelo Tsakopoulos was reported to have said Bill Clinton has confirmed that the former Secretary of State will make a bid for the White House again.
The millionaire is said to have told the Greek Reporter that Clinton’s husband revealed his wife’s political ambition, as the power couple gear up for a 2016 race.
Hillary will be our next President and she will be a great one,’ Mr Tsakopoulos told the Greek Reporter at a private gala event inCalifornia over the weekend.
‘I talk to her husband, and he confirmed it. She will run,’ he added.
Be sure to read the entire piece for the appropriate damage control statement from Team Clinton. (They soon will have a staff of hundreds dedicated to just dealing with him, similar to those infamous “Bimbo Eruptions” of the past.)
Here now is the “deep” analysis you all have been waiting for.
Need I remind you that President Bill Clinton was impeached? But almost everyone inside the Democrat party has forgotten that little fact, except Clinton himself.
Therefore, Bill Clinton believes that moving back into the White House will vindicate him from the stain of impeachment. If Hillary wins, he will be given his “second chance.”
When you combine Bill’s blabbermouth tendencies, with the desire to seek personal vindication and the potential historic circumstances that comes with the title “First Dude,” it is obvious we have the makings of a new series called Bill Watch 2016 — for Bill Clinton is the one to watch as he lays all the groundwork while Hillary lays low.
Just how will Team Clinton control their uncontrollable force on his personal and family mission? That is a show worth watching for its sheer unpredictability.
Now, continuing along in analysis mode, consider HRC’s victim status.
Hillary was “wronged” by Bill’s behavior before and during their time in the White House.
Hillary was “wronged” by the 2008 Democrat primary process, the party rules and the media, in her quest to become the first female president.
She has (in the mind of many Democrats and voters in general) always played “by the rules” and now 2016 is “her time.”
There is also the media’s next great social movement of helping to elect the first female president — a logical political step after assisting in twice electing the first African-American president. This girl-power movement will wash over the mainstream media like a tsunami to ensure that HRC’s quest to occupy the White House does not fail.
Our series title, Hillary Watch 2016 — We Watch, We Report, So You Can Ignore, is a public service to Tatler readers. But ignore at your own peril because Team Clinton means business!
Your new assignment is to watch as the media, Hollywood and big Democrat money all fall in line when Big Bill comes a-callin’, and remember, at least for now, it’s all about him.
Holy Mackerel! We really got a “charge” from reading all the clever and creative captions submitted by Tatler fans to our latest Photo Caption Contest.
And, as I requested for personal reasons, the captions were both respectful and appropriate, so thank-you for that.
Now for the judging… or what we shall call time for judgment (since after all this was a Catholic themed contest.)
It just so happens that the perfect candidate to render judgment (the most holy and devout Catholic outside of the Vatican, and I am NOT joking) also holds the esteemed title of “Husband.” (But past party animal tendencies still surface on special occasions.)
The Husband Judge was handed a list of what were, in my opinion, the top 20 captions and from that list he selected the following five winners:
Three of the five were submitted by our Caption King of Kings, cfbleachers:
“Just showing that Mr. Gore fellow a little about recycling energy into a vehicle that is worthy of it. However, I hope they don’t nickname it Pope Prius XIII.”
“Upon this build, I will rock this church”
“I watch and listen as you debate eliminating life from babies as I create it, eliminating MY name from the mouths of your children in schools, eliminating ME from your governments. I would like to take this moment for rebuttal.”
Bill Reader (a contest newcomer) submitted:
G*d: Hey, you know what would be a fun prank? I bet if I drop a thunderbolt on St. Peter’s Basilica just after the Pope announces he’s resigning, everyone will run around for weeks asking each other what it means.
Don Henderson (our Caption King who battles with cfbleachers for Supreme Ruler) submitted:
Just thought I would touch base with you, to let you know I’m still in [charge]!
Besides these five winners, there were many terrific captions including my personal favorites:
“Well done, my good and faithful servant.” Submitted by David WL
May I have your attention, please. Just a reminder, guys… I’m still in charge. — God Submitted by stargazer
Another “Caption King,” Chris Henderson submitted these two:
“Choosing a new Pope? There’s a zap for that.”
So that’s where the smoke comes from.
Besides a winning caption, Don Henderson also submitted this gem:
While the Pope takes a break, I’ll relieve his post, [ For heavens sake.]
Caption winner, Bill Reader had another great one:
The Pope’s resignation caused even St. Peter a huge shock.
And finally our Caption King of the Tatler Kingdom, cfbleachers, overwhelmed me with all these incredible captions:
“So many of you are texting and tweeting, you are constantly looking down. Here’s a reminder to look up once in a while”
“Can you hear ME now?”
“A reminder from the Real Illuminati, decode this.”
“Some of you pray in My Name, this is for the others who think my last name is Dammet”
“When a government robs Peter to pay Paul, Paul gets the type of voters who need this kind of reminder that I am still watching over Peter”
“I built that,…and everything else”
“No, THIS is an exclamation point”
“The medium IS the message”
“A late vote for Ave Maria as song of the year” (I loved this one!)
Congrats to cfbleachers!
As the overall contest winner you will receive a special Lenten season blessing from The Husband Judge.
Thanks to all who played along and see you next time a photo is worthy of a Tatler Photo Caption Contest!
This extraordinary photo of lightning striking St. Peter’s Basilica in the Vatican was taken just hours after Pope Benedict announced that he will step down as leader of the Catholic Church on February 28. Usually a Pope’s reign ends upon his death, thus an early resignation has not happened for 600 years.
So what does the lightning strike mean?
The UK Daily Mail asked in their photo caption if this strike was a “Signal From Above? Which leads me to ask, if so, what kind of signal?
Is the Almighty pleased that Pope Benedict had the courage to resign, or not so pleased?
Here is your chance to weigh in on this important question by submitting captions that are both respectful and appropriate, and I mean it!
(My husband is Catholic, works for an international Catholic ministry and his boss just recently met with the Pope, so this is BIG news around our dinner table.)
R- E- S- P- E- C- T, oh what it means to me! Got it?
Besides, the subject of this contest provides a nice break from beating up on you know who. Of course the same rules apply, “be nice and stay classy because the media is watching.”
Now, for any newcomers (and old timers who need a refresher) here again are winners from our last contest as examples of those who played by the rules and were rewarded with honor and glory.
Good luck and may the (lightning) force be with you!
For our latest contest, Tatler Photo Caption Contest fans proved me right when I presumed that you were all capable of writing better captions then the Drudge Report – but little did I know how much better. So the only words to describe the quantity and quality of the entries we received were amazing, awesome and incredible! Therefore, extra help was needed with the monumental task of judging and Dr. Spin (our in-house B-list media celebrity) was called upon and chose:
The new Marlboro Man. Time to light one up. Submitted by fortibus85.
Congrats to fortibus85, who is a repeat contest winner!
Now, as with many of our ultra competitive contests, Dr. Spin selects the official winner, but yours truly is left to pick the honorable mentions and unofficial grand prize winner. So here now are the best of the best:
Predator vs. Alien Submitted by stephen b
“What do you mean there is no I-phone app for this?!?” Submitted by cranky yankee
One of our Caption Kings, Chris Henderson submitted these three gems:
Makes sense: Empty Suit; Empty Chair, Empty Drone.
At least the drones work, unlike most of Obama’s ideas.
“When the Iranian”… submitted:
When the Iranian media reverse engineer me, no birth certificate, academic transcripts, medical charts, job resumes, legislative records will be found.
Besides the official winning caption, fortibus85 submitted a host of honorable mentions:
We need to get more of these to the EPA for crop inspections.
They need to re-do this, because the Presidential Seal is too fuzzy.
Can I control these from the golf course?
This won’t fall under the assault weapon ban.
I should’ve had the children pose with me for this.
If it just saves one life.
Can we make this thing look like a locust?
I picked Brennan and Hagel only after they agreed these are mine.
Now if I can just get control of the internet…
This will give Matthews a tingle…
Fast and Furious was so 15 minutes ago.
Mr. Don Henderson, one of our Caption Kings submitted these honorable mentions:
Like most of my projects this one really bombed.
Don’t tell Eric Holder about the drones. He’d just give them to Mexican Drug Cartels.
As soon as I polish my Nobel Peace Prize, I’ll give the drones runway clearance.
Let me think this over, if I have the letters G. W. B. on the front of the drones, I won’t get the blame.
Every time I get a good idea, somebody wants to shoot it down.
RogerJ submitted this cute caption:
You didn’t bomb that!
Scottch, one of our regulars, submitted three honorable mentions:
This one is called the (Nobel) peacemaker.
Now you know why Boehner is sweating.
Now you know what leverage I had over Justice Roberts
RockThisTown, one of our Caption Kings had two good ones:
“I’m the King Bee and these are my worker drones.”
“If I don’t win another Nobel Prize, I’m sending drones to Norway.”
Cfbleachers, our reigning Caption King had some creative winners:
Media covers up secret air strips to bomb Yemen, Obama asks his Media, “What Have You Drone For Me Lately?”
Obama and his media. Mission Accompliced.
An unmanned weapon, for an unmanned Presidency, with an unmanned media…all on autopilot.
“Proud of my new “Obama Gay.” Can put some serious hurt on ya.”
And the Grand Prize Winner is Mr. Don Henderson (our new King of the Caption Kings) with this entry:
There are no drone bases in Saudi Arabia, they just stop by for an oil change.
Don Henderson, your prize is a two week summer vacation in Gitmo’s executive guest quarters with no air conditioning. Have fun and send us a post card!
Thanks to all who played along and see you next time a photo is worthy of a Tatler Photo Caption Contest.
“How I Learned To Love The Drones” was the headline/caption Drudge Report used for the subject of our latest Tatler Photo Caption Contest.
Am I being presumptuous when I state that our photo caption contest fans are capable of writing much better ones? If so, prove me right!
This whole Obama Administration drone controversy with the leaked White Paper, not informing Congress of their policy, and the total lack of outrage by the mainstream media is perfectly timed for John Brennan’s confirmation hearing as CIA Director and sure to be non-stop cable catnip.
Of course there is great irony that drone strikes are being used with much greater frequency, and as the weapon of choice by our Nobel Peace Prize winning president, than by that “war criminal” President George W. Bush, but the level of vitriol towards President Obama is only polite quiet noise.
Now, as I write this, a breaking story has developed revealing that two major news outlets were complicit in helping Obama keep Saudi Arabian drone bases secret for the last year. If you ever doubted that the mainstream media is in bed with the Obama Administration this should put an end to that.
Just imagine if President George W. Bush had a similar secret memo with the legal justification for killing Americans with drones and hid it from the public and Congress, how quickly would the word impeachment have been tossed about? Then, if Bush had secret drone bases in Saudi Arabia, these same news outlets would have leaked it in a nano-second.
Thus, if you need to express some outrage at the double standard and hypocrisy in the media and on Capitol Hill between a Democrat president and a Republican president, this Tatler Photo Caption Contest is the place where you can unleash your rage against the machine. However, please try to stay within the rules of “be nice and stay classy because the media is watching.”
Now, if you need some clever examples of our rules in action, be sure to check out the winner’s of our last contest.
Good luck, have fun and rage on!
Hillary Clinton’s New Website
So for those who do not think she is running in 2016, the royal HRC left the State Department this past Friday, and only two work days later, her website is up and running. Politico reports:
Hillary Clinton has found her post-State Department home on the World Wide Web.
HillaryClintonOffice.com is bare-bones so-far, sporting only a picture of the former Secretary of State and a contact form. According to registration data, the site was created Jan. 31, and was last edited Sunday. The URL was registered through GoDaddy.com.
Clinton’s 2008 campaign site, HillaryClinton.com, now links to HillaryClintonOffice.com.
Clinton has remained coy about her post-Cabinet plans, but has said she plans to continue to advocate for women and girls, and pledged to be an outside advocate for the State Department in her valedictory address to department employees.
Here is the screen grab and caption from Politico.
Now Hillary Watch 2016 fans might want to sign up just to see what Team HRC is up to while HRC does “a lot of sleeping.” (Her words about what she will be doing after stepping down from the State Department.)
To that I say, “Dream on,” to any Republican who does not believe HRC will be the 2016 Democrat candidate for president. And while dreaming, the GOP had better prepare for HRC to hit the campaign trail in 2014 supporting Democrat candidates who will “work with her.” Certainly HRC will be the rock star fundraiser in 2014, even more perhaps than President BHO or former President WJC.
Thanks to all who played along making this a very successful contest.
In fact, the captions were so good, I wish Dr. Spin (our in-house B-list celebrity for newcomers who don’t know) were here to help judge, but he is literally off climbing one of the world’s highest mountains, just because he can.)
So here I am all alone in my office trying to pick the winners (which you all managed to make into a very difficult task) but here goes:
Submitted by ed mister jones:
“Never have so many owed so little to just one – having risen so far, so fast, so mysteriously devoid of having ever DONE anything, other than be associated with things that have been done”
Adi, (recently anointed a Caption King) submitted several good ones:
So Newsweek has been reduced to a digital rag nobody reads, and I’m on the cover. Hip.
I’m with Newsweek.
They put my photo after “the second coming”. Is that a good sign?
Submitted by Chris Henderson (one of our Caption Kings):
Another unemployed person in the Obama economy.
Don Henderson (our reigning Caption King) scored high with these:
I was too late for the print edition but, I was on TIME before this.
She’s walking into history, where she’s going is still a mystery.
From First Lady, to Cover Girl, who could ask for anything more.
Cfbleachers (our Caption King emeritus) keeps his title because of all these clever captions:
Susan B Anthony and Hillary have now each had their face printed on something worth a dollar.
(Editors note: Newsweek was purchased for a dollar)
”I always gain 15 pounds during Superbowl week, it’s a vast Buffalo Wing conspiracy”.
”I AM the most powerful woman in American history. Why, I escaped shooting getting off a plane that nobody else could see, I evaded deep trouble in raging Whitewater when everyone else thought I was up a creek without a paddle and when I lost to the Obama campaign, they nicknamed me Wonder Bread Woman”.
Given that the most powerful politician in German history, the most powerful person in Russian history, in Chinese history, in Cuban history, in Iraq’s history, in Ugandan history…puts her in appropriate company.
The Daily Beast found its pinup.
Well, her acts, words and deeds contain no more statesmanship than the day she started, but she IS starting to LOOK remarkably more like Winston Churchill each and every day.
Of course she’s powerful, pulling Bill off of bimbos for decades can pump you up.
Now for the Grand Prize, two captions so perfect I am forced to have two winners:
The first, submitted from someone who I believe is a newcomer named, lissa:
“I’m Hillary(!) and I approve this magazine.”
Congrats to you lissa, and I hope we see more from you.
The second Grand Prize is awarded to our first, and now once again reigning Caption King, cfbleachers, with this jewel in his crown:
A New York senator not from New York, hooked up with an Illinois senator not from Illinois, to create an American foreign policy, not for America.
Cfbleachers and lissa, so proud of you both! And now, may I present buckets of honor and glory and a potential future visit from Hillary’s IRS goons sometime in mid- 2017!
See you all next time a photo is worthy of a Tatler Photo Caption Contest.
Our new series, Hillary Watch 2016, chugs right along with this piece written by Lloyd Green in The Daily Beast:
Here is the bold subhead:
Hillary Clinton’s polling ahead of GOP challengers in Texas and Kentucky. And then there’s the youth vote, minorities, women, and the white working class. She’s the one to beat in 2016, writes Lloyd Green, former opposition research counsel to the George H.W. Bush campaign.
Then the piece begins with this line:
Message to the Republican Party: be afraid, be very afraid.
To save you from having to read the entire piece (the mission of Hillary Watch 2016) here is my favorite line:
Unlike her husband, Hillary is personally disciplined. Unlike Barack Obama, she has demonstrated an ability to connect with beer-track voters across the country.
All you series readers have just learned something very important – “beer-track voters” are the new swing demographic. Who knew?
Now, recall in the second installment of Hillary Watch 2016 after featuring a Newsweek/Daily Beast “cover” proclaiming Hillary, “The most powerful woman in American history, I wrote:
All this slobbering leads one to conclude that Newsweek/Daily Beast, Editor-in- Chief, Tina Brown is gunning for U.S. Ambassador to the United Kingdom in a Hillary administration, one that no doubt, Ms. Brown will do everything in her power to ensure comes to fruition.
Do these two pieces within days of each other signal that I have uncovered a grand plan? If so, it is pretty shrewd of Ms. Brown to have found a Republican willing to assist in her quest for a future post in the Court of St. James.
But just you wait, for all this slobbering and drooling is only going to get worse, much worse.
So may I suggest bibs? How about official Hillary 2016 bibs with HRC embossed in royal gold lettering?
This fashion accessory will be desperately needed to keep Democrat’s designer duds from getting stained at fundraising and media events in the years ahead.
Today being Hillary Clinton’s last day as Secretary of State, the liberal to the core, (now dead) dead-tree edition of Newsweek (recently transformed into the liberal to the core, digital edition of Newsweek, combined with the ever more liberal Daily Beast, got all that?) is giving Hillary the title and caption, The Most Powerful Woman in American History.
Now, I am quite confident that PJ Tatler Photo Caption Contest fans will have no trouble submitting their own captions, so have fun with this one.
This caption contest also doubles as the second installment of my new series, Hillary Watch 2016 – We Read, We Report, So You Can Ignore. Click here to read the first installment and justification for the series.
Certainly this article by Michael Tomasky, along with the subject of our photo caption contest, qualifies as exclusive entries in the second Hillary Watch 2016. Besides the caption headline, here are the subheads:
Hillary Clinton Exits Politics: Her Enduring Legacy
She changed the game irrevocably, and now she’s about to transform it again—by walking away.
All this slobbering leads one to conclude that Newsweek/Daily Beast, Editor-in- Chief, Tina Brown is gunning for U.S. Ambassador to the United Kingdom in a Hillary administration, one that no doubt, Ms. Brown will do everything in her power to ensure comes to fruition.
But all that is pure, mean spirited speculation. Today let us celebrate Hillary’s last day with a respectful photo caption contest that stays within our rules, “be nice and stay classy because the media is watching.”
You can refer to the winner’s post from our last contest for examples of captions that follow these rules, if there is any doubt.
Good luck to all who dare to enter, and beware, because these contests of late have become quite competitive and as some have said, even brutal.
The day after the 2012 presidential election was the unofficial beginning of the mainstream media’s (MSM) obsession with Hillary Rodham Clinton’s (HRC) political plans for 2016. Now given that Friday, February 1st is the day when HRC steps down as Secretary of State to resume her life as a private citizen, this is the perfect week to launch an occasional new series aptly named Hillary Watch 2016.
(An alternative name is Hillary News You Can Do Without. Or, if you prefer, we could have a contest naming this series; suggestions please.)
The justification for Hillary Watch 2016 is as follows:
Throughout the MSM it has already been determined that HRC is the Future President of the United States. (Either the MSM all crowded into one big time machine and viewed the election results from the evening of November 8, 2016 or the MSM willed it to happen, but both yield the same results.)
Thus, I thought it prudent to launch a series identifying news accounts in support of this “unstoppable event.”
Let us begin with some recent reports that are firm foundations for what you are likely to read in future Hillary Watch 2016 installments.
First, a widely reported headline. (And I chose the Washington Post to showcase the headline story because they are founding members of the MSM, and considered by many to be a “dinosaur news” outlet.) But expect the Washington Post to be on the rebound by playing a leading role in “the making of the future president” and vying for the title, Captain of the Cheerleading Squad.
This is shocking, I say shocking, unexpected news and it comes as a complete surprise. As will be the format in this new series, the first paragraph of a news item will be posted so you can avoid clicking the headline link.
A super PAC supporting Secretary of State Hillary Clinton for president in 2016, “Ready for Hillary,” was registered with the Federal Election Commission on Friday. The group is chaired by Allida Black, founder of the Eleanor Roosevelt Papers Project at George Washington University and Roosevelt Institute. Black was also behind a pro-Clinton PAC in the 2008 primary, WomenCount, and she pushed for Clinton’s name to be put into nomination at the convention that year.
Second is a news item, (again, widely reported) from Bloomberg Businessweek:
Last week campaign disclosure reports revealed that Hillary Clinton had finally retired the debt from her 2008 presidential campaign—with a little help from the guy who beat her, Barack Obama.Clinton’s debt once totaled more than $20 million, although it had dwindled to about $250,000 by last year. That’s when a team of top Obama donors decided to surprise Clinton, and thank her for her loyal service, by raising enough money to pay off her bills. As secretary of state, she was forbidden from political fundraising.
Third, this headline was reported on January 29th by BuzzFeed as part of Hillary’s week long media “goodbye tour.”
During a “Global Townterview,” Clinton promises a memoir. Rebuffs the inevitable 2016 questions.
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton said she plans to write a memoir after leaving office during a “Global Townterview” event on Tuesday morning in which she took questions from people around the world.
“Yes, I will write a memoir,”Clinton said. “I don’t know what I will say in it yet.”
Clinton said her immediate plans after leaving involve “catching up on about 20 years of sleep deprivation.” Asked if she would run for president in 2016,Clinton laughed it off, saying she’s “not thinking about anything like that right now.”
And, as part of that same “goodbye tour” you probably saw or heard about “Hillary’s first 2016 campaign infomercial” with her endorser-in-chief, President Obama on 60 Minutes.
OK, OK, I assume you have had enough of our first Hillary Watch 2016? (But you must admit it was action packed.)
But wait there’s more, not news, but an opinion piece from yours truly about a powerful social and MSM movement with its goal of electing our first female president. That is what I believe is the real renewable energy source fueling Hillary’s 2016 engine.
On a housekeeping note, please comment if you think Hillary Watch 2016 should be a monthly, weekly, daily or minute by minute post. Your opinion is important because currently and especially in the next few years, there will be “binders full of women,” (and men) paying their mortgages by reporting on every last detail of HRC as a private citizen. (But that reporting should be interesting because, according to her, she plans on sleeping most of the time!)
Also, while you are at it, take a stab at answering the question, “Are you sick of HRC yet?” And just for fun, as part of our public service connected to Hillary Watch 2016 we will try to keep a running tally of how often we hear the question, “Will she run?” My educated guess is over 1.5 million times across all media platforms since the November, 2012 election.
Now, are you ready for some tragic news?
After eight years of President Obama, when HRC presumably takes office on January 20, 2017 the national debt will be more than $22 trillion and she will only be a puppet leader ruling over the United States of Beijing.
So in 2017 be prepared to hear, “This Tsingtao’s For You” where you once heard, “This Bud’s For You.”
See you all next time “our binders are full” of Hillary Watch 2016 news you’ll want to ignore!
Congratulations to all who entered, because the submissions from our latest Tatler Photo Caption Contest surpassed my wildest expectations! And, I am not exaggerating when I say that as a group, these captions were the best I have ever seen from any previous contest (and we have had some pretty darn good contests.)
In fact, these submissions were so witty, snarky and clever, I had to call our in-house celebrity judge, “Dr. Spin” to help select the grand prize winner.
Upon contacting Dr. Spin, he informed me that he was in recovery mode from all his recent jet-setting excursions between Hollywood, Washington and New York and was now holed up in his deluxe mountain retreat.
So here, descended from an altitude of 14,000 ft. is our winning caption submitted by tcb:
“Wait! Don’t swat it – we’ll get Axelrod to register it to vote!”
Congrats tcb, please come forward and take a virtual bow.
With Dr. Spin’s caption as the “official winner,” we also have an “unofficial winner” selected by yours truly.
This caption submitted by HiPlanesDrifter is:
Mr. President, would you like flies with that?
(I was LOL after reading it, so congrats to contest newcomer, HiPlanesDrifter.)
Now due to the high number of politically astute captions submitted by each of our “Caption Kings” (the title bestowed upon a handful of Tatler readers who dedicate WAY TOO MUCH time and talent writing pages of captions for each contest) starting now, we will also recognize a Caption King who has performed at a level qualifying him/her for a guest writing spot on The Daily Show. (Too bad I do not know anyone at that show but Dr. Spin will make that connection for us.)
The First Caption King Award is presented to Don Henderson.
King Henderson submitted even more captions than what you read here, but these were his best in my opinion.
Pardon me for cutting this speech short, but with my schedule, I gotta fly!
And you thought Watergate was bugged.
It must have flew off of that bush.
This is a one man act, so buzz off.
My fellow American’s, and frequent flyers.
This is a first, one member of the Republican party is going head to head with me.
When this picture of me hits the news stands, they will go [FLYING] off the shelf.
OK, Homeland Security you’ve made your point, your mini drones can fly to where there headed.
As I stated earlier, there were so many outstanding captions by everyone, I urge you to go back and read them because this winner’s post would be over five pages long if I were to list all the Honorable Mentions.
Keep up the great work everyone and we will see you next time a photo is worthy of a Tatler Photo Caption Contest.
Oh, and one final announcement….
My husband is so paranoid that he will be visiting me at re-education camp this summer, (smuggling in Kind Bars and People Magazine, no doubt) that he asked me to take a break from contest photos involving “Our Beloved Leader,” and find other photo subjects to caption.
So the important headline question I now ask of loyal contest readers is, “Should I Obey The Husband?”
You just can not make this stuff up!
“Obama The Fly Swatter Strikes Again,” is the actual headline from this Reuters piece featuring the above photo and caption with a copy line that begins:
There was a buzz at the White House on Thursday when President Barack Obama announced the nomination of two top financial regulatory officials.
Just in case you think Reuters is really The Onion, here is the official White House transcript staring this little winged announcement crasher:
For Immediate Release
January 24, 2013
Remarks by the President at a Personnel Announcement
State Dining Room
2:38 P.M. EST
But it’s not enough to change the law. We also need cops on the beat to enforce the law. And that’s why, today, I am nominating Mary Jo White to lead the Security and Exchange Commission, and Richard Cordray to continue leading the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.
This guy is bothering me here — (swatting at a fly.)
So all this “buzz” means it’s time for another Tatler Photo Caption Contest
Certainly our stable of ”caption kings” or any newcomer, can write a better caption than Reuters, or a more clever headline, than “Obama’s uninvited guest: a pesky housefly,” which accompanied this video on the NBC Nightly News web site.
Now, you all know the rules, “be nice and stay classy because the media is watching.”
However, with this contest photo I know you might be slightly more tempted to violate them, so STOP YOURSELF. There will be “no fly-ing“ off the handle during this contest.
Furthermore, the contest winner will NOT receive a new fly swatter because our mature and sophisticated caption contest winners need nothing more than the honor and glory that comes with reading their name in the winner’s post, like this one from our last contest.
So good luck, make me proud and fly (like an eagle) even though Washington is full of turkeys.
Thanks to all who participated in our latest and very successful, photo caption contest. As a group, your submissions were creative, snarky, mean, hilarious, cute, clever and obnoxious, just how we like them!
So without further ado, here are all the Honorable Mentions:
Submitted by RockThisTown: (one of our caption kings) with several good ones.
“I’m sure I can hold out for a month before I cave to Pelosi & Reid.”
“If I clap, maybe everyone will think I’m happy.”
“Did Beyonce really just lip-synch the National Anthem?”
“Dang it! I just know he didn’t get 65 million votes legally.”
Submitted by Chris Henderson: (our reigning caption king)
“Here we go, 4 more years of blaming Bush!”
“Hey wait a minute, that Teleprompter has a defroster on it!”
“Twenty-second Amendment, Twenty-second Amendment, Twenty-second Amendment…”
Submitted by Adi: (a new caption king)
I’m looking ‘forward’ to the 3,000 calories meal. Could be my last.
Will someone notice if we suspend the Constitution for a couple of months? It is for the sake of the Collective, after all.
… Once upon a time on a chilly day during the Weimar Republic. No, I mustn’t think of that.
What was that Richie song title again, “Dancing on a debt ceiling”?
Submitted by Hubbub: (a newcomer?)
LA-LA-la-la-la…I can’t hear you!
Submitted by Stargazer: (ouch this one hurt!)
See, it’s possible to stand erect without a spine… a little painful, but possible.
Submitted by Querulous: (another painful one)
I gotta remember pretty darn soon where I left my backbone.
Submitted by scotth: (even MORE painful)
Looks like he’s having a nic fit to me.
Submitted by Kimbly:
I’ll see your eye roll and raise you a scowl.
(Kimbly, this caption is not with the time line of the day but I liked it anyway!)
Submitted by Don Henderson: (another loyal caption king)
Here’s another fine mess he’s got me into.
That sure takes nerve, he’s trying to pass gun control.
and she’s wearing BANGS.
Submitted by cfbleachers: (Hail to our emeritus caption king!)
Have gavel, will travel….then unravel.
Frame 1: Man, the things I have to endure as the “loyal opposition”.
Frame 2: Especially since he is in no way really loyal, and I am in no way really any opposition.
I’m biting my tongue, literally and figuratively.
Look at me, I’m as helpless as a kitten up a tree.
Submitted by rbj
He’s going to play me for a fool again. And I’m going to fall for it.
Now for the grand prize winners who have earned a smoke break with our Speaker.
I had to pick three winning captions because these really described the tortured expressions on Speaker Boehner’s face in both photos.
Two from Don Henderson:
He gets to play King of the hill, while I play follow the leader.
Not one person has said, Oh look, there’s Mr. Boehner.
Finally from cfbleachers: (back now as our reigning caption king) Yes, it is good to be king!
In a high pitched whine only dogs could hear, the Squeaker of the House bears witness and pain at the swearing in ceremony.
Thanks again to all who played along and see you next time a photo is worthy of a Tatler Photo Caption Contest.
Yesterday I was struck by House Speaker John Boehner’s facial expressions shown in these two photos.
Obviously he looks like a man in great pain. Is there something he knows that we don’t?
Is he seeing something not visible to us?
So I decided to pose these questions to the smartest, most creative people in the world, Tatler Photo Caption Contest readers!
Now remember, this contest is NOT ABOUT “you know who.” (My husband has asked me to take a break from “you know who” because he fears a certain three letter agency will come knocking around April 15 and surely if you are a follower of these contests you know his paranoia is totally justified.)
As usual, please abide by our contest rules, “be nice and stay classy because the media is watching.
(Hey Dylan, how about a new link proving that you really are watching? This will help keep our “bitter clinging, gun and Bible toting right-wing wacko” contest entrants in line during the next very painful, long and difficult four more years.)
Could that be the concern we are seeing on Speaker Boehner’s face?
Good luck with your entries and in case you missed it, here is the winner’s post from our last contest.
It looked like you caption writers had your own “Inaugural Ball” from the number of entries to our latest contest.
With so many good ones, I asked “Dr. Spin,” who came directly from the Inaugural red carpet (hobnobbing with movie stars) to judge our contest. (I would post the red carpet photo, and it would make an awesome photo caption contest, but I am not sure if Dr. Spin is a real or an imaginary friend or if he is even actually judging this contest.)
Life is a tad bit confusing these days!
So here are the Honorable Mentions (with many inspired by the imaginary Inaugural Edition of the dead tree Newsweek cover.)
This is how you should pray to me.
Submitted by GDI:
First, you put your hands together like this. Then, you bow.
Submitted by Chris Henderson (who is one of our royal Caption Kings.)
“My list of accomplishments is this long.”
The following eight captions were submitted by Adi (who has now joined the ranks of our Caption Kings.)
Let’s start by building a big statue of me, right over there where that fat kid is standing.
I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.
Ye be prepareth for me Second Cometh.
Must channel my inner Jong Il.
If you know what’s good for you, worship Me at least as I worship Myself.
I am, therefore you exist.
I will unleash my armies of OFAs against the Spartans and then they will witness the true vision of a Lord of Community Organizing.
In the beginning there was Obama and Obama created Everything.
RockThisTown (another Caption King.)
“With these hands, I thee divide.”
“This is how much difference there is between me and Lance Armstrong.”
Submitted by CFBLEACHERS (Caption King emeritus.)
“You’re in bad hands with All Statist.”
“You’re in good hands with All Statist.”
(Hey CFBLEACHERS, both of these work depending on your point of view.)
Submitted by FailBurton:
“And then I’ll part the sea – just like this…”
Submitted by Don Henderson (a newbie Caption King.)
Who put super glue on my executive order pen?
Now for the winners (who need to stay clear of folks wearing “O” armbands.)
The first runner-up is CFBLEACHERS with these two captions:
Motto for Organizing for Action: “Let us prey.”
The Overlord’s prayer: Give me all your yearly bread.
The Grand Prize Winner of a one-way ticket to Organizing for Action’s 2013 summer Re-education Camp is:
Chris Henderson (who is now #1 Caption King.)
If you’re a narcissist and you know it, clap your hands.
This one was hilarious. Congratulations, Chris!
Today being “The Day That It Is,” here is a photo from the last Republican President’s Inauguration of yours truly with my (not imaginary) husband.
See you all next time a photo (certainly not this one) is worthy of a Tatler Photo Caption Contest.
Perfectly timed for the start of the Inaugural weekend is the announcement that the President’s never ending campaign organization, Obama for America, formerly under the umbrella of the Democratic National Committee (DNC) is now transforming into Organizing for Action and will sever ties with the DNC. (Just how ticked off is DNC Chairwoman, Debbie Wasserman Schultz?)
President Barack Obama on Friday announced the relaunch of his remaining campaign apparatus as a new tax-exempt group called Organizing for Action that will “play an active role” in “mobilizing around and speaking out in support of important legislation” during his second term.
The photo for our caption contest was posted yesterday, front and center on the Drudge Report, with the headline “High On His Power.” This was a quote from newly minted Texas Senator Ted Cruz, from this piece in the Weekly Standard.
Republican senator Ted Cruz of Texas said Thursday that Barack Obama is “high on his own power” with regard to the president’s announced efforts on gun control. Speaking on Laura Ingraham’s radio talk show, Cruz, who was just elected to the Senate last November, said “this is a president who has drunk the Kool-Aid.”
These two separate news items, coupled with President Obama’s rather strange hand gesture, means that you should all have an “inaugural ball” of your own writing captions for this contest photo. But remember our rules, “be nice and stay classy because the media is watching.” (The winners of our last contest are good examples of this.)
Now, if you need some tips for staying sane during the next few days, go back and read this piece and tape it to your television set.
And yes, it is going to be a tough couple of days, so I recommend stocking up on cases of adult beverages while watching the other half of the country drink Kool-Aid.
OMG! Obviously my computer is tapped because just this second I received an email from our “Organizer in Chief” with the subject line: “Say you’re in.”
Organizing for Action:
Our work didn’t end on Election Day.
Organizing for Action will support the legislative agenda we voted on, train the next generation of grassroots organizers and leaders, and organize around local issues in our communities.
Watch this video the First Lady recorded about the next step of this grassroots movement, and say you’re in:
Yes, it REALLY is going to be a tough couple of days and an even tougher four more years, but look to our Tatler Photo Captions Contests to provide you with some comic relief.
If you are one of the 60,928,981 Americans who voted for Mitt Romney last November, than the upcoming Inaugural events could be too gut-wrenching for you to endure.
As a Romney voter, you honestly believed that this nation could not survive four more years of “The One who will be inaugurated,” right?
And now you still believe that even more, right?
So here are some actions you can take to get through what the mainstream media will try to convince you is a “Royal Coronation,” the pride of all America, presided over by Beyonce and all her Hollywood pals.
1. Turn off all media.
2. Take long walks.
3. Go to the mountains. (if possible)
4. Go to the beach. (if possible)
5. Go camping. (if you live in a warmer climate)
6. Immerse yourself in nature anyway possible.
7. Pray for this nation.
8. Take a trip somewhere far, far away.
9. Help someone who needs your help (but does not have a working television.)
10. Visit a very large museum.
11. Read a good long book in a cabin by a stream.
12. Go shopping in large malls but avoid stores where they sell televisions.
13. Seek out other Romney voters for a comedy movie marathon.
14. DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH TELEVISION.
15. If you must surf the web, only visit Drudge for a maximum of five minutes a day until “it” is over.
16. Try not to drink too heavily, but just enough to take the edge off until you can convince yourself that this nation will get through the next four years without economic collapse or without a meltdown that resembles Greece.
Now for those of you who live in the Washington D.C. metro area, you only have one choice and that is to leave town.
One Republican political consultant I know is escaping to the Sundance Film Festival. However, if that is not an option, get yourself on a plane heading somewhere warm, preferably to an island but any country where they do not speak English will do. For those on a lower budget, make your way south to a safe red state within driving distance.
A good alternative would be a relaxing trip to Rehoboth Beach (which is actually in the blue state of Delaware but very pleasant this time of year) or any of the beaches within a few hours drive of D.C. .
But if circumstances are such that you can not leave, just have a little bottle of Zoloft ready if you find yourself in a depressed state, banging your head against the wall yelling, “These people just don’t get it. These people just don’t get it.”
You are right, they just don’t get it but 60 million of us still do.
Thanks to all who played along for another successful Tatler Photo Caption Contest.
Helping with the difficult task of judging, we are once again honored with the presence of “Dr. Spin,” our in-house celebrity who was last seen in the company of glamorous movie stars and overweight Hollywood moguls. (You can not make this stuff up!)
Dr. Spin’s winning captions are:
They steamed my Rice! I hate steamed rice! Submitted by Bigfoot
“What? My taxes are going up too?” Submitted by info
However, our in-house non-celebrity judge selected all the runners-up and especially the first place runner-up, who really is the official grand prize winner. (But the contest CEO did not want to offend the great and all-knowing Dr. Spin.) So suck it up people! Life is unfair in 2013 and you had better get used to it.
Therefore the winner who did not officially win is:
“But why? I want my face on the money NOW.”
Submitted by fortibus85. (Winner of the second contest in a row!) Hey foribus85, you are starting to tick off several former winning veterans, so watch your back.)
Foribus85 also submitted this runner-up:
“I’m so seriously bummed. I haven’t heard ANY talk about getting another Nobel Peace Prize.”
Now for the rest of the best, beginning with our star-studded bench of veterans:
Two submitted by cfbleachers:
It’s a parade, Mr. President. Not a coronation. Sorry for the misunderstanding, try not to listen to your media.
No, Mr. President. “Let the Jews pay for it” cannot replace E pluribus unum on our currency”
Three submitted by Chris Henderson:
The Audacity of Frowning.
The President’s smile is not shovel ready.
It’s not a frown. It’s a Kinetic Grimace Action.
Two submitted by RockThisTown:
“What do you mean the media won’t fawn over me in my 2nd term?
“I’d have to see proof that you built that.”
Two submitted by Don Henderson:
Anyway, I gave Congress this look, and they let me have my way.
Something told me we should not have bought meat from China.
Here are some awesome runners-up who, if they keep submitting these high quality entries, will soon be sitting on our star-studded bench.
Two submitted by Adi: (Winner of the runners-up non-prize.)
Our tickets were spent before they were printed and now we’ll have to buy them back from the Chinese.
I’m glad this photo won’t make it to the next cover of Newsweek.
Submitted by jvon:
Clearly he is upset that he’s inherited an even bigger mess than last time.
Submitted by Marc Malone:
“I need my teleprompter and my blankie.”
Submitted by Mr. G.:
Just found out Bill Ayers is writing the sequel to “Dreams From My Father.” It’s called “Never Screw a Commie Terrorist Out of His Royalties.”
Two submitted by Pettifogger:
“What if my kids end up subject to Obamacare?”
“What if I can’t spend enough to impoverish EVERYONE?”
Submitted by g.c.:
Meh. It’s just the Constitution.
Great job everyone, and see you all next time a photo is worthy of a Tatler Photo Caption Contest!
The subject of our newest photo caption contest is from the web site Guest of a Guest in a piece about the latest Washington crisis involving inauguration tickets. Apparently parade and ball tickets were sold out before even going on sale to The People and you can read all the sordid details in the link.
However, I do not know whether this photo actually reflects Our Beloved Leader reacting to the news of the ticket crisis, but it was the photo used in the piece.
So now it is up to you to caption this photo in the appropriate (snarky, but still respectful) manner by answering the question, “Why the droopy face Mr. President?”
For all you contest newcomers, our only rule is, “be nice and stay classy because the media is watching.”
And we REALLY mean it because some of you tend to get a little too enthusiastic about Our Beloved Leader, especially now that he is beginning his “Second Reign of Progress for the Low Information Voter.”
Good luck and do try to stay classy out of respect for “The Office.”
Finally, in case you missed it, here is the winner’s post from our last contest.
Our first photo caption contest of the year got off to a roaring start with our usual “Caption Kings” doing that thing they do. But actually, it was a newcomer who beat all the old veterans at their usual game.
So congratulations “fortibus85” for taking the top honors with:
“I think I’ll have the Marines start saluting me like this.”
“Fortibus 85” also had two more Honorable Mentions:
“Hmmm, maybe during the next National Anthem…”
“Romney could never pull this off, ’cause I’ve got the grimace!”
Now here are the rest of the best with many of our star players showing off.
Chris Henderson had these three gems:
“Little do they know, I call it ‘Ayres Force One’.”
“Oh, they said, ‘Fiscal Cliff.’ I thought they said, ‘Make a fist that is stiff.’”
“I’ll punch someone if I don’t get another Nobel Peace Prize.”
RockThisTown made a terrific showing with these two:
“There’s not a liberal Air Force One or a Conservative Air Force One. There’s my Air Force One.”
“Is there anything left I can blame Bush for?”
Cfbleachers starts the year off getting inside Obama’s brain with:
I hit the taxpayers in the gut like this…I just can’t look at them when I’m doing it.
Thanks to all who played along. I can already tell that in 2013 the competition will be stiff, the stakes high and more than likely, “there will be (virtual) blood.”
So we will see you all next time a photo is worthy of a Tatler Photo Caption Contest!
US President Barack Obama makes his way to board Air Force One on January 1, 2013 at Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland. Obama is returning to Hawaii to continue his vacation which he interrupted to deal with the “fiscal cliff” crisis.
Yesterday this caption appeared on local CBS-DC under the photo that is the subject of our first 2013 Tatler Photo Caption Contest.
Don’t you just hate it when your vacation is interrupted by an emergency?
Well so does Our Beloved Leader since he is “just like us.”
But now, since Congress has built some temporary guard rails around the “fiscal cliff,” President Obama can continue his Hawaiian vacation at the cost of an extra $3 million — in addition to the $4 million already spent, bringing the total cost of his family vacation to over $7 million.
Since you are overjoyed to read how Your Leader is spending your tax dollars, we will use this occasion to rewrite the CBS-DC caption with a more creative flair.
For 2013 contests, the same 2012 rules apply that were inspired by our friend Dylan Byers of Politico, “be nice and stay classy because the media is watching.”
Then, as stated in the last contest of 2012, “the need to repeat these rules every contest acts like a guard rail preventing you from falling off the creative cliff.”
As a result, I was mocked by “Scottch” one of our snarky caption contest participants who questioned my rules by commenting, Staying classy? Guardrail? What guardrail…….lol.
Well Scottch, if you don’t like the current rules, than please submit some new ones for this year.
Good luck to all who enter and you have my permission to fall off that creative cliff if you find our guard rail too confining.
Finally, because of complaints that some of you often miss the winner’s post from the previous contest, it will be repeated in the next contest.
Apparently, we read now that one of our repeat winners, “RockThisTown” has declared war with his comment:
Resolution for 2013: Dethrone cfbleachers and become King.
Watch out, for this signals future contests could get a tad nasty.