Today is one of those days when I reconsider my my life choices and wonder if I shouldn’t have gone into a more serious profession. Like, I don’t know, clowning.

I mean, how does one take politics seriously when the President of the United States just trots out discredited lies all the time?

You can debunk him all day long, and that number has been debunked over and over again including this week. His own spokesman pretty much admitted that it’s bogus. You can’t shame him or his people out of lying, because they don’t feel shame. It’s as alien to them as being able to breath in a sea of molten gummy bears.

At any rate, at least we can look to good old England to provide some serious policy discussion. Their country is older than ours. Wiser. Better.

Labour peer Viscount Simon, 73, raised concerns about the “smelly emissions” resulting from the UK’s unusually high consumption of baked beans.

He put energy and climate change minister Baroness Verma on the spot during the government’s daily question session in the upper chamber.

She said his question was “different”.

His comments came as energy minister Baroness Verma answered questions in the House of Lords on how the government was tackling climate change.

Lord Simon said: “In a programme some months ago on the BBC it was stated that this country has the largest production of baked beans and the largest consumption of baked beans in the world.”

To laughter from peers, he added: “Could the noble baroness say whether this affects the calculation of global warming by the government as a result of the smelly emission resulting there from?”

A Shakespearean ode to the “musical fruit.”

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But the question remains, which end should government regulate, the intake of the beans, or the output of the fumes? The beans would be easier to tax, but the farmers will protest, and beans are supposedly good for the heart. The output is more nebulous, yet more offensive. It’s quite a quandary.