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The PJ Tatler

by
Bryan Preston

Bio

April 10, 2014 - 2:03 pm

Today is one of those days when I reconsider my my life choices and wonder if I shouldn’t have gone into a more serious profession. Like, I don’t know, clowning.

I mean, how does one take politics seriously when the President of the United States just trots out discredited lies all the time?

You can debunk him all day long, and that number has been debunked over and over again including this week. His own spokesman pretty much admitted that it’s bogus. You can’t shame him or his people out of lying, because they don’t feel shame. It’s as alien to them as being able to breath in a sea of molten gummy bears.

At any rate, at least we can look to good old England to provide some serious policy discussion. Their country is older than ours. Wiser. Better.

Labour peer Viscount Simon, 73, raised concerns about the “smelly emissions” resulting from the UK’s unusually high consumption of baked beans.

He put energy and climate change minister Baroness Verma on the spot during the government’s daily question session in the upper chamber.

She said his question was “different”.

His comments came as energy minister Baroness Verma answered questions in the House of Lords on how the government was tackling climate change.

Lord Simon said: “In a programme some months ago on the BBC it was stated that this country has the largest production of baked beans and the largest consumption of baked beans in the world.”

To laughter from peers, he added: “Could the noble baroness say whether this affects the calculation of global warming by the government as a result of the smelly emission resulting there from?”

A Shakespearean ode to the “musical fruit.”

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But the question remains, which end should government regulate, the intake of the beans, or the output of the fumes? The beans would be easier to tax, but the farmers will protest, and beans are supposedly good for the heart. The output is more nebulous, yet more offensive. It’s quite a quandary.

Bryan Preston has been a leading conservative blogger and opinionator since founding his first blog in 2001. Bryan is a military veteran, worked for NASA, was a founding blogger and producer at Hot Air, was producer of the Laura Ingraham Show and, most recently before joining PJM, was Communications Director of the Republican Party of Texas.

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Top Rated Comments   
Ministry of Beans and Noxious Emissions? Second floor, turn left, right across from the Ministry of Silly Walks. Can't miss it.
22 weeks ago
22 weeks ago Link To Comment
On average, women in America make just 77 percent of the "smelly emissions" that men do eating the same beans.
22 weeks ago
22 weeks ago Link To Comment
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All Comments   (6)
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Pull my finger.
22 weeks ago
22 weeks ago Link To Comment
I can't believe the author failed to include this legendary clip in the story:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPIP9KXdmO0
22 weeks ago
22 weeks ago Link To Comment
Ministry of Beans and Noxious Emissions? Second floor, turn left, right across from the Ministry of Silly Walks. Can't miss it.
22 weeks ago
22 weeks ago Link To Comment
"Will the Right Honorable Minister of Beans and Noxious Emissions please stand and speak?"
22 weeks ago
22 weeks ago Link To Comment
Hmmm. Where does this guy stand politically? I'm wondering if he were mocking the whole global warming baloney, or if this was a capsizing Guam moment....

22 weeks ago
22 weeks ago Link To Comment
On average, women in America make just 77 percent of the "smelly emissions" that men do eating the same beans.
22 weeks ago
22 weeks ago Link To Comment
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