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The PJ Tatler

by
Bryan Preston

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October 1, 2013 - 9:15 am
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I was still working last night at 11 p.m. central time when the federal government went dark. I shuddered. Hold me. Is this really the end?

The TV stayed on, but I knew it was only a matter of time before the nation’s infrastructure would collapse. How long did we have? Hours? Minutes?

I stayed awake for many hours, as long as I could hold out. I checked the windows and doors every few minutes for signs of disturbances outside. But everything was quiet. Too quiet.

On screen was Harry Reid, a name that sounds like a foot infection requiring a steroid cream treatment, declaring like Santa Anna that there would be no negotiations and no quarter would be given on the continuing resolution standoff. It’s only a matter of time before he orders federal troops to fire on the fake Alamo in Bracketville.

It was with some difficulty, after watching the disturbing scenes at the Ballpark in Arlington, that I entered a fitful sleep. Will the world still be there when I wake up? Is this the last night before the end of days?

I was awakened in the morning by a text message on my iPhone. Which was good news — the cell networks are still up! The nation’s fragile infrastructure has not gone to pot yet. I fired up my computer to confirm that the power was still on and the Internet was still alive. Wow, it’s as fast as ever. But I log onto healthcare.gov to see the first signs that zombies have gnawed through the trunk lines. And screwed up spelling and links on a brand new, high-profile government web site? That’s weird.

At least everything other than the site that drives President Obama’s signature law is working fine. There’s a chance, however slim, that we can outlast this apocalyptic shutdown after all. Unless you’re trying to sign up for a gold plan, in which care you’re screwed.

I peer out the windows to check the streets. I’ll have to venture out soon across town for recon and a car repair, and don’t want to be caught off guard by the packs of zombies and feral non-essential federal bureaucrats that are sure to be roaming the country by now. Granted, the shutdown has only just begun, and I’m about 1500 miles from its epicenter in Washington, but still…a man can’t be too careful. A lot can happen while you’re sleeping.

Nothing outside seems out of sorts. I see that that guy down the street with the weed problem finally mowed his front yard. Wait — movement! Oh, it’s just that jogger who never wears his shirt. He really ought to knock that off.

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All Comments   (15)
All Comments   (15)
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my Aunty Kennedy recently got Hyundai Sonata Hybrid Sedan just by working from a macbook air. . .......:>WWW.JOBS60.ℂOM
49 weeks ago
49 weeks ago Link To Comment
my co-worker's step-mother makes $80 every hour on the computer. She has been fired for 5 months but last month her payment was $14571 just working on the computer for a few hours. browse around this website... WWW.Rush64.COM
49 weeks ago
49 weeks ago Link To Comment
The only thing missing is Don LaFontaine's voiceover...RIP Don.
49 weeks ago
49 weeks ago Link To Comment
"Harry Reid, a name that sounds like a foot infection requiring a steroid cream treatment,"

:D

Best line of the day!

Can we get this on a bumper sticker?


Better yet, framed and delivered to his office?
49 weeks ago
49 weeks ago Link To Comment
"...Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together..!"

If Cruz and the gang play their cards right, and Crying John keeps his composure, I think this will play better and better for the Republicans. Every day that the government is "shut down" and civilization doesn't collapse, the more people will think that maybe government isn't the alpha and omega of human existence and that maybe we could do with a lot less of it.
49 weeks ago
49 weeks ago Link To Comment
As with Prop. 13 back in 1978, Californians first had to be punished.
49 weeks ago
49 weeks ago Link To Comment
Wanting to take some free time this weekend to enjoy nature in all her bounty, we planned on taking a trip to a national park for just such joy. Yellowstone National Park sounded good. But to my dismay, I realized that with the shut down of the federal government, there would be no one there to take my entry fee. How will I manage?

But wait a minute. I live in Central Texas (near Austin). How long would it take me to get to Yellowstone? Time to regroup, I thought. What about Palo Duro Canyon, or Garner State Park or any of the many, MANY wonderful state parks in my own [great] state of Texas? They are still open for my business.

Like Bryan, I woke this morning to being able to heat water for my shower, my electric clocks were still running, gas stations were open, HEB was buzzing, the banks were open, 7-11 was still selling lottery tickets and kids were in school.

Frankly, considering all the hardships brought upon the American people with sequestration, I don't see how we will survive a government shut down of "unessential" personnel. I pray it will not have an effect on the Blue Bell Creamery.
49 weeks ago
49 weeks ago Link To Comment
If necessary I will man the churns myself to keep the Blue Bell ice cream flowing like onto manna from heaven.

Texas truly has some great state parks. Of course it also has Austin, but then, whatta you gonna do?
49 weeks ago
49 weeks ago Link To Comment
Shhh, don't tell anyone. The cows at the Blue Bell Creamery are not government [union] workers.
49 weeks ago
49 weeks ago Link To Comment
Not too long after 9/11 country singer Alan Jackson released a song that had a line that went something like "Where were you when the world stopped turning," a sentiment that, re. that particular event, means nothing to most of the world's population. A government shutdown, or the sequester-induced furloughs earlier this year, is similar - a relatively small number of people are affected, but for everyone else very little has changed.

DC thinks it's the center of the universe, and the rest of us know that's just not so.
49 weeks ago
49 weeks ago Link To Comment
Well, it can't be all bad. I got my disability check from the VA right on schedule. I have an appointment on the 15th for some lab work at the local VA Clinic though. Wonder if anyone will be there?
49 weeks ago
49 weeks ago Link To Comment
Based on all the MSM hot air yesterday, I was pleasantly surprised that the sun actually rose in Dallas this morning...it seems to be OK in TX so far.

More Epic Fail for President Asterisk*.

It's actually a pretty good day! Especially since I had already decided to wait a week before going health insurance shopping, our current insurer having notified us of their pulling the plug at year end.

*though I do like "President Pantload" as an alternative...

49 weeks ago
49 weeks ago Link To Comment
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