Lamenting the frustrations of his charm offensive not wooing the GOP, he said, “I am not giving up.  In fact, I’m taking my charm offensive on the road — a Texas barbeque with Ted Cruz, a Kentucky bluegrass concert with Rand Paul, and a book-burning with Michele Bachmann.” He later made a reference to Groucho Marx and added, “Senator Cruz, that’s Groucho Marx, not Karl”.

“One senator who has reached across the aisle recently is Marco Rubio, but I don’t know about 2016.  I mean, the guy has not even finished a single term in the Senate and he thinks he’s ready to be president. Kids these days,” Obama continued.

The president added some serious notes about the “difficult days” of the Boston bombing and West, Texas, fertilizer plant explosion to the standard correspodents’ dinner schtick.

“I’m also hard at work on plans for the Obama Library. And some have suggested that we put it in my birthplace, but I’d rather keep it in the United States,” Obama said. “Did anybody not see that joke coming? Show of hands. Only Gallup? Maybe Dick Morris?”