"I am not a dictator . . . but I pledge to do the right thing & work against my mean-spirited, racist opponents until I am."

"I am not a dictator . . . and I do NOT approve this message."

"I am not a dictator. . . so work with me toward achieving my potential."

"I am not a dictator . . . but I dictate more before 9am than most dictators do all day."

" . . . but I told Michelle if I want a cigarette, I'll have one."

" . . . but as we speak, Holder, Axelrod & Carney are writing the script in which I am."

" . . . but under my new Affirmative Action plan, I soon will be."

" . . . but I could win an Oscar playing one in a movie."

Then why do you have those military uniforms with phony medals all over them in your closet?

". . . but if I had a son, he would look like Qaddafi."

" . . . but history will make me one."

" . . . except in my dreams."

"I am not a dictator, but I was re-elected with millions of illegal votes, & that's close enough."

" . . . but, on second thought, Dennis Rodman is my good friend."

"I don't even wear the pants in my own family."

"The founding fathers simply messed up when they didn't make me one."

" . . . but I can build one."

"It's just a coincidence Sean Penn likes me too."

...he said sadly.

"I am not a dictator".

Funny thing, guilt.

"It spills itself in fearing to be spilt" Quoth the bard.

"Don't be ridiculous. Dictators start wars without Congressional approval, have enemies lists, target their citizens for death-by-drone without due process...oh wait…."

1.) "Hey, who put the 'not' on my teleprompter?"
2.) "I am not a dictator. I just bow down to them."

“I am not a dictator, and I think it is counterproductive to apply expectations glibly. Expectations inevitably involve labels. When we do that, we do a disservice. I am the son of a Harvard educated African government economics minister polygamist and a PhD Anthropologist who yearned to right the oppression of the West, the step-son of an Indonesian oil company manager who was a Muslim, and elite private school student of a global community; I am the fortunate mentee of a poet labor-activist Communist on the FBI watch list who also authored a hardcore pornographic novel, eager college student of Marxist professors, Professor of Constitutional Law, and neighborhood friend and political colleague of a convicted terrorist; I am the un-sealer of divorce records, tenacious protector of academic transcripts, and blissful twenty year member of a black liberation theology church. I have lived in humble apartments and homes from Indonesia to Chicago to Hawaii, to a mansion purchased directly from a prominent Chicago criminal. I refused the offer of tenure at the University of Chicago, and accepted the campaign assistance of an unrepentant violent felon. I was the celebrated unpublished lead editor of a prestigious college law review, and the author of two autobiographies with fabricated stories and characters. I stand firmly on my principles to fundamentally transform the United States and its Constitution which I taught, and as an elected representative I routinely chose to demonstrate my principles by voting “present”, with a notable exception of creating the right to let newborns die of exposure. I make recess appointments when there is no recess, promote the unrestricted power of executive order, obstruct bi-partisan congressional laws on marriage, immigration and voter integrity, and sue those uphold the rule of law. I publicly return gifts from our closest democratic allies, and I proudly bow to tyrants. I believe in the freedom of speech, the fairness doctrine, citizen reporting political watch sites, and that the world must not belong to those who blaspheme the prophet. I support the right of women to choose, and to do so at no cost, by redistributing the fruit of others’ labors while desecrating their faith. I believe we must protect our children, and I absolutely refuse to descend to the level of protecting them in the same way that we protect banks, shopping centers, and social security offices. I believe the way to prevent psychopaths and criminals from using handguns to murder children in governmentally enforced unprotected areas is to take away rifles from every citizen and make as many areas unprotected as possible, and I will do everything in my power to make that happen. I denounce the institutions and actions of multi-national corporate banks in solidarity with the 99%, and appoint Bilderberg members to run our government financial system. I once denounced debt and now I denounce debt ceilings. I printed trillions of dollars from thin air in two years, and I accuse those who worked their bodies or risked their futures over their entire lifetimes in the hope of accumulating (or maintaining) thousands. I worship energy from the sun and loathe energy from the ground. I lead from behind, take action after consulting tribal gulf state monarchs, ignore and refuse any support to U.S.-friendly protestors in a dangerous and hostile Iranian regime pursuing nuclear weapons, and militarily intervene on behalf of U.S.-unfriendly Islamic protesters against a Libyan regime that gave up WMD. I created the right of every 18 year old U.S. college student to go $100,000 in debt to the government, in pursuit of illusory future income, at above market rates that cannot be removed during bankruptcy; and I champion the right of illegal aliens to attend college at no cost. I refuse to accept the notion that citizens must show ID to exercise their constitutional right to vote, and insist citizens must show ID to travel. I am unwilling to allow denial of free healthcare to undocumented aliens, which is their inalienable right, nor allow tax-paying citizens to refuse to pay for alien healthcare. It is my position that our overseas wars are fundamentally unproductive, which is why my Dept of Homeland Security has purchased enough ammunition in the last twelve months to fight 24 years at maximum intensity while I pursue an aggressive campaign to disarm American citizens. I take offense at the simplistic attempts to define me. I am all of these things, and yet none of these define me. I will not be pinned down by ideologies or religions or philosophies or movements. Make no mistake, I am not a dictator. And let me be perfectly clear, I refuse to be constrained by labels.“ (show less)