This was such a difficult Photo Caption Contest and therefore it was not among our most popular.
However, the 19 captions we did receive were totally outstanding.
There were poems, psalms, and the faux quoting of Scripture.
Tatler readers are forever amazing with grace.
Here are some of the best captions:
Above my Pray-Grade. Submitted by Chris Henderson
You didn’t… – write that. Submitted by You didn’t
“For the sake of compression, some of the characters that appear in this bible are composites of people I’ve blessed, and some of the miracles I’ve performed appear out of precise chronology…” Submitted by shaun evertson
Yeah Dude, …. I couldn’t fix things the first time just give another 2000 years… Submitted by Laurie J
And the Grand Prize Winner of all the “Priceless PR” is Morton D. who submitted his own “holy” Psalm titled:
-I Bloweth Totally
Excerpted from:
-Lo! A Mighty Breeze was fouling the air and no man would lay claim to it. Then Bâ-râk said unto them: “That Bush beyond, remember it! For That Bush was the one that befouled the air which was sweet”. But they noticed the Bush was nowhere to be seen. Wherever Bâ-râk went that foul stench did assail The People and they suffered. After the required span of three and one years, they could take it no longer, and The People cried out: “Take him from us, for he bloweth totally!” and he was gone!
Congratulations, Morton D.!!! You totally bloweth my funny bone.
So Tatler fans, we shall see you all next time a photo is worthy of a Tatler Photo Caption Contest.
Unfortunately the Biblical Barak’s name is said to mean “lightning,” while Obama’s first name reportedly means “blessed”–which would make it a cognate of Baruch, not Barak.
Important? Probably not.
The question of the derivation of Obama’s first name depends on which root it comes from. It could be either a form of “Blessed” or it could be a derivative of the name of the type of steed [not a horse] that carried Muhammed:
Both “Blessed” and “Lightning” in different derivations according to how Arabic was adopted into the local language in Muslim countries are used as given names for males. And for that matter, both are similarly used in Hebrew [“Baruch” and “Barak”. To settle this, we would have to see how Obama’s father’s name was written in the rolls of the mosque after Aqiqah to be sure since Obama named after his father.
I tend to believe it is after the steed, but YMMV.
Subotai Bahadur
I tend to believe it is the a reference to the steed’s ass.
Actually, “Barak Obama” is an ancient Kenyan name meaning “Jimmy Carter”.
Somebody needs to reread that story in Judges. Barak was a general who, despite his name, was rather wimpy. He did nothing without the support and direction of the prophetess. All successes also came at the hands of others. Barak, the general, wouldn’t go into battle unless Deborah, the prophetess, went with him. He was told, if she went, then victory would come because of a woman. The army routed Sisera but Jael, wife of Heber the Kenite, was the one who killed Sisera. Also, Deborah went on to be the Judge for the next 40 years, not Barak.
Oh, wait. It is perhaps more fitting than I thought.
Your conclusion, “A man of worldly power/position accepting direction from a prophet/ prophetess is ‘wimpy’ deserves challenge”
Nonsense The man was obviously prophetess-whipped.
Re-read the story. Judges chapter 4 (KJV) is the prose version. Chapter 5 (KJV) is the poetic version. Barak – lightning – is slow to make a decision, and slow to accept responsibility. He is told by the prophetess to go fight and the glory would be his. He doesn’t want to go in to battle without her despite the advice and council first given him. He asks her to come with him. She says that if she does, then the glory will go to a woman instead of to him. He refuses to take the lead he is offered. He loses the chance to be the big hero. That goes to Deborah and Jael. The name Barak is complete irony in the story because he DOESN’T match up with his name.
I didn’t even see it. So I’m adding:
The Kraken Waketh
Anti-Christ Batteries Not Included
The Rainmaker Maketh Not the Rain
Las Vegas Over/under 666
Nimrod is a Nimrod
There Will Cometh Unflinching Stupidity
Bend Over sayeth the Oracle
The Sage Mystic of the NCAA Brackets
Open the Window; A Mighty Wind Cometh
Prophecy Schmophecy
What’s My Line of Coke?
It Is Written A Clever Alchemist Will Turn Success Into Failure
The Many Smells of Nostradamus
The bible prophesy speaks of the Anti-Christ portraying himself as the savior. I guess it is true when people from around the world call us Satan.
My studies and prayers and gifts from god tell me that all human misery did not begin but was later manifested with the advent of moses leading his tribes out of Egypt. He took people who had been enslaved by Egyptians for three milenia and brought with them the ancient writings of the Hebrews. He was faced with un imaginable logistic problems, in “how do I feed thousands of people and keep them formed as a group.”
He eventually wrote the five books of Hewbrew laws that basically said I am the messenger of god and What I say is God’s laws. Break the laws or just not follow them and you are a sinner. The wages of sin is death.As they traveled for decades they came into contact with City states and other cultures and I am sure many just wanted to stop and become part of the places. While the Bible does not come out and say Moses had these places destroyed, the facts and the statements in the bible does support the notion that Moses Destroyed sodom and Gomorrah himself and compares them to Babylon.
Today we see a person in Obama that says he supports Same sex marriage one day and the next, he is worshiping with Muslims. The two things are so ultimately different to say they are 180 degrees in reality is a kind statement. We all know that there is only one kind of Muslim and that is extreme fundamentalist who would gladly murder all the homosexuals of the world today.
to me that sounds like the description of the Anti-christ or in the very least his servent.
Jesus is the only historical example of a spiritual figure that embodies the altruistic principles of a savior or Messiah. Jesus rebelled as history shows us, against the Hebrew Police state. He was killed for his lessons of change by the brutal people he was trying to save from the very institution he was a part of.
To claim this person, Obama, is Mesiah is Heresy, and an Abomination of lies.
Very respectfully,
maybe i can get in on thi$.
anybody want to buy some official ‘obiwon walking on water’ shoes? good prices.
how about an attachable barackie halo. wires almost invisible. only worn at a couple holloween parties.
how about a husseini hat? expandable. presidential look-alike watch? the guy has big ears just like and in honor of our grape leader. bubbly blessed water in bottles. it is said to be able even heal economies (no warranty).
call me. i got all the original stuff. computer generated birth certificates from the 50′s and 60′s. back-dated selective service registrations (on sale). we have SS#’s from ages gone by. cheap. hardly used.
we have a train car full of barely used voting machines, just like the ones worked on by seiu union members; however, we cannot guarantee the results.
left over guns from a gov screwup. yeah, we got ‘em.
Just got my BFD t-shirt at 20% off.
There’s room for everyone, so don’t fret.
I just found this… Aw. Thanks, Myra and PJM! I’d also like to thank…. Um, where’s my swag?
Epic Fail, Fail Burton! Thank goodness you were LATE! (Those were all hilarious.)
Your conclusion, “A man of worldly power/position accepting direction from a prophet/ prophetess is ‘wimpy’ deserves challenge”
I’m sorry, but according to my interpretation of biblical prophecy, yea, a large mauve gnu will come from the land of Rishikesh and give unto the people free jai alai tickets, yo, then bits of antique Naugahyde will become the new universal currency, verily, and then the world will end – not with a bang, but with a cute little tinkling sound, amen. Lightning don’t enter into it. It’s all there, plain as day for him who hath eyes wherewith to seeeth.