Buzz Ballad: Valerie

—apologies to Richard Thompson, and “Valerie”

Oh Valerie! You got Obama’s ear
Oh Valerie! You control what he hears
Born in Iran with a Communist past
If the public knew about you they’d be aghast
The way you control the President and First Lady
Well they’re wait, wait, waiting on Valerie

Hey Valerie! She was part of a ring
Valerie! That built public housing
Collected immense subsidy sums
For shoddy buildings, instant slums
Lots of poor tenants now living in misery
After en-, en-, enriching Valerie

If you’re in the West Wing, better genuflect
To all of her whims, wherever she directs
If you don’t, never you fear
In a twinkling you’ll find yourself out on your ear
Yes, she’ll have you thrown out on your ear
Oh Valerie! Oh Valerie! Oh Valerie!

Well Valerie! When bin Laden was found
Valerie! You turned the mission down
Three different times you nixed the “gutsy call”
Now Obama runs around spiking that football
Oblivious that he risked popularity
By wait, wait, waiting for Valerie

She is unvetted and uncontrolled
Wields massive power through a personal hold
Isn’t it disturbing that such as she
Can determine the President’s policy?
Foreign and domestic policy?

Oh Valerie! No-one knows what she do
Valerie! She’s paid by me and you
She quietly pulls strings behind the scenes
Nobody knows what’s behind the screen
Except that she’s Obama’s number one crony
We don’t need, need, need any more Valerie
Don’t need, need, need any more Valerie
We don’t need, need, need any more Valerie

Valerie! Oh Valerie! Well! Whooo!