Buzz Ballad: Barry the Choomer

—apologies to Cab Calloway and “Minnie the Moocher”

Folks, now, here’s a story ’bout Barry the Choomer
He is a tail-end Baby Boomer
He slacked off on his schooling everywhere he went
But he rode his race to the office of President

High-de-high-de-high
Blow-de-blow-de-blow
Sleazy sleazy sleazy sleazy
Chi-ca-go

He hung out with all of the Marxist academics
Used a Teleprompter to make populist polemics
His economic policies made misery everywhere
So he tried class war on “millionaires and billionaires”

Lie-de-lie-de-lie
No-no-no-de-grow
Squeezy squeezy squeezy squeezy
Lots of show

The process of governing was way beyond his talents
So he ignored the Constitution’s check and balance
Instead of passing a budget for every year
He ran the national debt up to the stratosphere

Buy-de-buy-de-buy
Who cares where it goes?
Just show me another rathole
Where cash I can throw

Now he’s spending madly so he can win re-election
Wants four more years to bring his policies to perfection
Even if the damage he’s done only makes you squirm
Just imagine what he’ll wreak if there’s a second term

Cry-cry-cry-de-cry
No-no-no-de-no
Vote-de-vote-de-vote-de-votey
Out he goes