To Prove They 'Look Forward' to 'Defending (Net Neutrality)...in Court,' the FCC Files to Dismiss Lawsuit

Politico’s Morning Tech daily email Thursday has a brief blurb about the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) filing to get dismissed Verizon’s lawsuit to overturn the Commission’s illegal Net Neutrality power grab.

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Said blurb in its relevant entirety follows:

FCC KNOCKS VZ NET NEUTRALITY APPEAL — “Verizon’s legal challenge is not only misguided; it threatens to destabilize an important and growing part of our economy at a critical time,” an FCC spox told MT after it filed a motion to dismiss Verizon’s lawsuit. “We look forward to defending our open Internet framework in court. This strong and balanced framework has brought certainty and predictability, stimulating investment across the broadband economy.” Verizon declined to comment.

This FCC assertion is one gi-normous intellectual mess.

Please, allow me to translate.

“Verizon’s move to maintain the Internet exactly as it is – a glorious, free speech-free market Xanadu – is incredibly destabilizing.  As keeping things as they currently are always is.

“Our obnoxious, illegal Net Neutrality power grab hasn’t yet slammed down on the industry – but it has somehow magically ‘brought certainty and predictability’ without ever having been put into terrible effect.

“‘Certainty’ like the D.C. Circuit Court unanimously throwing out our last illegal attempt to impose Net Neutrality – and our going ahead and again ramming it through anyway. 

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“‘Certainly’ like Verizons lawsuitand Metro PCSs lawsuitand Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli’s lawsuit.  All of which we forced them to file – to undo our second attempt at this same obnoxious, illegal Net Neutrality power grab.  

“‘Certainty’ like the Congress being forced to work to overturn via the Congressional Review Act our second obnoxious, illegal Net Neutrality power grab.

“The certainty that always comes from a rogue, out-of-control federal bureaucracy commandeering vast new powers we don’t legally have.  

“Which leaves everyone wondering what new powers we’ll illegally grab next.  That ‘certainty.’

“We look forward to defending our obnoxious, illegal Net Neutrality power grab in court.  And to prove it, we are moving to dismiss Verizon’s lawsuit – so we don’t have to defend our obnoxious, illegal Net Neutrality power grab in court.”

Makes much more sense now, does it not?

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