And you thought it referred to carrying your lunch in a small brown bag, didn’t you? If that is your response, you clearly are a racist. Well, it seems somebody better tell gourmand Brooke Newberry at The Savory. Yes, last week she provided a new recipe for “a brown-bag baguette sandwich.” The shame! Moreover, it calls for the use of goat cheese and fennel, clearly two ingredients used only by white elitists who are members of the corporate rich, all of whom by nature are racist. We all know these folks would never carry their lunch in a brown bag unless Gucci made it. So to use this in the recipe’s title is to use a hidden code word that is meant to let her audience know she is writing for fellow racists. I think all readers should immediately phone the NAACP and demand a campaign against her.
As for New York, pity those poor youngsters who are at the age when they want to rush down to the Museum of Natural History to go see the dinosaur skeletons. Suddenly, New York City is concerned with the rights of religious fundamentalists, for whom the word “dinosaur” conjures up thoughts about evolution, and hence might offend them. As for Halloween, religious Jews do not celebrate it, and to Jehovah’s Witnesses, it “suggests an affiliation to Paganism.”
So New York City officials say that in prohibiting these terms in schools, they are not guilty of censorship, since they are only carrying out “normal procedure.” And birthdays, it seems, create “unpleasant emotions” for those students whose birthday is not the same day as the fellow student whose parents brought in cookies to first grade for students to share as they sing Happy Birthday at lunchtime.
I hope, God forbid, that the mother did not put those cookies in a brown bag! Then her little darling will be guilty of double jeopardy, or three sins, if her or his birthday falls on Halloween.
I’m only happy that in my childhood we didn’t have civil rights divisions in education departments and at City Hall in New York City.