Well, in refraining from pig meat for at least the time being (eight months cold turkey so far), just say I’m hedging my bets on the outcome of the Jihadis vs. Sons of Apes and Pigs war: either way I win.

In my case, it’s not the fear of divine retribution that motivates me (although one never know, do one?); its the patently addictive qualities of charcuterie, broadly defined. And I’d guess those qualities were apparent enough to Founding Fathers, as it were, that they thought the master script should cover that angle from the outset.

As for the gourmand (in the French sense) issue, jeesh! Even vegetarian cuisine can more than suffice.