Eusebius, who wrote that, was a total gossip-hound. Theodora had converted to Christianity, and was living in poverty, spinning wool for a living. She was still remarkably beautiful. She had been the companion of several high- ranking military officers. She had been involved in politics. Justinian met her at wheel, in her little one room apartment, and fell enchanted, proposed marriage, and was accepted.

Most historians consider the best part of Justinian’s reign the parts where she was advising him.

In the Nike Riots- people would riot for grain and entertainment ( bread and circuses) the rioters had deposed several emperors in very short order ( I don’t know anybody occupying any riot-ish anything right now, do you?) Justinian had decided to flee the city. Theodora said ” The Purple makes a fine winding sheet”- in other words- be willing to die an emperor- and she encouraged him to herd the rioters into the coliseum, which his troops did. Then the troops massacred the rioters. The riots stopped. The nation was stable for the first time in a century. Justinian restored peace and order. Later, with the peace, he was able to task scholars with regularizing the law code- the Codex Justinianis. It’s still the basis of Roman law, French Law, and Louisiana law.

He’d be just another military officer, and, at best, dead emperor without Saint Theodora at his side.

(besides- cracked magazine, or mad, sent a reporter to the major porn convention during an election year. they were trying to make fun of porn stars by asking them serious policy questions. and the women answered, with really great, serious proposals. the writer ended up writing- why can’t we elect porn stars? they’re better than the clowns who are running) ( friend told me. haven’t been able to find it)