Because I profile, duh. I’m kind of an equal opportunity racist. I profile everyone.

But just to put the icing on the cake, someone I don’t know called me a “racist” on Twitter yesterday. “You must be a racist,” he said, thankfully omitting the requisite exclamation points. This was in reaction to my appearance on NPR to discuss an article I had written on the Zimmerman trial, the same article a columnist at the Washington Post called “deranged” because I likened that sorry, hypocritical event to a Stalinist show trial.

Silly me.

So it’s settled. I must be a racist.

But don’t be smug, dear reader. You’re a racist, too. Even if you comment seventeen times a day on The Huffington Post, cursing Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum, you’re still a racist.

That’s just the way things go these days.

Tough luck.

UPDATE: I wrote the above Tuesday morning. Obviously, I was having some fun. But since then I have heard the latest turn in the Zimmerman/Martin saga and I have lost my sense of humor. Our Department of Justice, in its “wisdom,” has just decided to establish an email address through which George Zimmerman’s fellow citizens can report on putative examples of his racism, although a full investigation of the same had been conducted over a year ago by the FBI, yielding a result of no racism. What DOJ is doing now constitutes a witch hunt employing the methodology of a police state, citizen spying on citizen, with Attorney General Eric Holder and his henchman Tom Perez assuming the role of Markus Wolf. If you don’t remember who he was, you can click on the link. Or perhaps have a look at this film. The U.S. Department of Justice channels the Stasi. Did you ever think it could happen here?