OPM: No disrespect is intended in the following.

The questions you ask and the points you raise are typical of those that are not familiar with Objectivism in any meaningful way. So, I don’t think it is out of line for me to conclude that you have, if any at all, but a shallow understanding of Objectivism and in particular, Objectivist ethics.

Now, I’m aware that reading Rand can be difficult and her style may be off putting to some. So, if you sincerely wish to understand the Objectivist ethics without reading Rand, I highly recommend the following three books:

“Loving Life: The Morality of Self-Interest and the Facts that Support It” by Craig Biddle
“Viable Values: A Study of Life as the Root and Reward of Morality” by Tara Smith
“Ayn Rand’s Normative Ethics: The Virtuous Egoist” by Tara Smith

Smith’s books are scholarly but accessible while Biddle’s book is written for wider audience and is a great introduction.

Here’s a scholarly review of Smith’s “Ayn Rand’s Normative Ethics”: http://ndpr.nd.edu/review.cfm?id=8123

A quote:

“Those who think of Ayn Rand as the icon of callow youths rather than a serious moral philosopher are unlikely to recognize the Rand whom Smith presents to us. Drawing on Rand’s novels, lectures, essays, and letters, Smith shows that her ethical theory is a form of naturalistic eudaimonism, which shares some features with the Aristotelian virtue ethics of Hursthouse and Foot, but differs from them in its unapologetic ethical egoism. This egoism is, however, as Smith argues, non-predatory and can accommodate helping others, genuine friendship, and even in certain circumstances risking one’s life for another.”