I’m puzzled by the omissions from Nick’s List. The necessary supplement:

The GOP VP pick,

was seen on the Grassy knoll in Dallas,
uses live kittens as bait,
tortures Moslems,
wears size 12 shoes,
has an even large carbon footprint,
secretly sacrifices small children to the God Mars by the light of the blood red moon,
shot Dangerous Dan McGrew,
caused the fall of the Roman Empire.

There. That should boost him from hyperventilation to euphoria.