To: Mr. W. Briggs:

I personally like – and have profited – from “diversity”. I like it because it automatically lowers standards across the board.

For me, this means that I don’t have to exert myself nearly as much as I would, should only merit count. In other words, my ivy league university education, sterling grades, full scholarships, first few jobs and so on were largely the result of the ineptness and bumpkin backgrounds of others. Frankly, it was like taking candy from a baby.

And I have ridden roughshod on the back of the cornucopia of diversity well into adulthood.

On my resume, for example, I make it very plain that one of my “strong” points is that I can not only READ but can also actually WRITE a clear sentence without spelling or other errors. Not only that, I can structure a coherent PARAGRAPH with ease! To many employers, this is quite an accomplishment worthy of praise and raises.

Victimhood, the latest allomorph of the philosophy of disenchantment and marginalization, came a little late for me to benefit fully from. But I’m working on it.

They say that you can’t squeeze blood from a turnip. But given the right circumstances (and frame of mind), you actually can.