Thank GOD the phony hero John Kerry with his faked war wounds and the Manchurian candidacy of his lengthy and successful public service was kept out of the White House! I think we can all agree that the country – nay, the world! – is far better off with an over-privileged serial business failure, recovering alcoholic and drug addict who believes the Lord speaks to him leading the way for the past eight years. I mean, the results speak for themselves!

I don’t think there is any question that our priorities as a nation were spot-on back in 2000, and that the right man was appointed by the Supreme Court. Let’s make sure we get it right again and focus on whether or not Obama cranked as much blow as W did, investigating if he is a secret agent for – what was it? Indonesia? – and determining once and for all the details of his final solution for all of America’s non-Muslims. (The last of which he apparently worked out while spending several decades in Christian church.)