This guide was clearly written by people who have never actually raised children. I listened to the “yuk” response whenever I served asparagus for YEARS. I never crossed my mind that my black children were racist because I could not get them to like asparagus. It has never crossed my mind that I am racist for not liking chicken vindaloo; rather, I always thought of it as a reflection of my vegetarian dietary preference. Then again, I don’t like lychee nuts! Does that mean I have unconscious anti-Asian sentiments? Should I seek counselling? Will the National Health Service provide me with private psychiatry sessions to uproot this horrible “problem’ of mine?

I find cricket BORING in the extreme. Am I guilty of anti-British cultural hegemony? I’ve never thought about it before…

WAIT! I can’t tolerate watching films with subtitles! I MUST BE A HORRIBLE PERSON! Call the poe-leeeeeece!

And here I thought CARTOONS were just products of the imagination! I must take up reading British legislation in my spare time. Clearly, the British parliament is bent on giving hilarious author Tom Robbins a run for his money!