Talking to another human being always helps. Dunno why, but there it is. This part of being a social animal is very much hardwired into our genes, I think.

I think this is one reason why 12-step groups help so many people. What follows is for Delia, too. I think there is a lot of pressure in contemporary society to be self-sufficient; therefore, asking for help appears to many people like asking for trouble, even if “trouble” is just a snarky verbal put-down rather than the kind of office politicking that can lead to losing your job (or tenure). It took a lot of courage for Delia to post her comment about her present struggles. Been there myself– I struggled for several years in grad school with an eating disorder, only in my case it was bulimia. What helped me were three things– Church; music (buddy may be amused to know it was Bach for me rather than country); and going to Al-Anon.

Now the funny thing about that last was that I did not go to Al-Anon meetings to deal with the eating disorder; I went to learn how to cope with an alcoholic stepfather and a mother who denied that he had a drinking problem. But in the process of learning to cope with the family alcoholic, I found that the bulimia slowly began to resolve. There was something about the human contact in those 12-step meetings– particularly seeing people change over the course of time and move in positive directions– that was tremendously encouraging. The group also helped people to recognize that they could contribute to one another, that they weren’t helpless or worthless. So many of us had been beaten down by years of criticism (usually from the alcoholics we were dealing with) that we had come to discount our various good qualities and talents. Delia, if you are still online and reading BC– please don’t ever forget that you have much to offer the rest of us. Your courage in posting here is a gift. I will keep you in my prayers.