The answer is half a cow.

The question comes from a conference with an attorney who was representing me in a real estate closing. The discussion was about tax consequences of the purchase and potential later sale, and my attorney told a tale of a “Belgian farmer” (why do you think Favre was so immensely popular in Green Bay. A Mississippi Cajun whom all the locals of Walloon-Belgian heritage thought had to be one of them). This man was being represented in an IRS audit.

The auditor asked, “How many cows did you butcher for your own table, because you are going to have to pay tax on them as ‘income’?” The farmer gave a look of puzzlement over to his lawyer, not knowing how to answer the question or not knowing if he should answer the question. So then the auditor decides to “split the difference” and offers to “put you down for half a cow.”

My own attorney had to explain that the joke is funny — cows come in whole number units. Half-a-cow is a kind of government-approved negotiation to “split the difference.”