The problem is we tell God “provide for me (answer my prayer the way i want), so I can trust you”. His response: “Trust Me. I will provide”. That is why knowing God loves you is vital. If you don’t know He loves you, trust is difficult at best.

What i have found is best expressed in words I heard as I prayed one day. I would walk half a mile to a local cemetery, a quiet place where you could read and pray out loud and not disturb anyone.

At the end of my prayers, I added a request. Clouds had come up, and it looked like it might rain. So I said: “It would be nice if you could hold off the rain, I forgot to bring an umbrella.” I wasn’t expecting a direct answer, but one came. I heard a voice (it wasn’t me), say. “Are you following Me, because I made the rain stop? What are you going to do, when I allow it to rain?”

It didn’t rain. The rest of the story: in less than a month my youngest brother was diagnosed with cancer that would kill him within a year. That was also when i first started writing poetry. I had never written a poem in my life, and would have told you I never would, yet it seems a gift from God. I had asked for a gift of the spirit, never expecting poetry.

So I learned a few lessons about God. One, He speaks to us. Two, He cares about the simplest request. Three, He asks some hard questions. Four, I know He is real. Five, practice taking dictation.

That is why I do not fear the future. I know the one who holds the world in His hand. He doesn’t promise it will be easy, but He promises He will never forsake us. In our suffering, we find joy.