Some of the news readers on local public radio (WBEZ) approach the standard set by Kurt Vonnegut in “Harrison Bergeron”.

The television program was suddenly interrupted for a news bulletin. It wasn’t clear at first as to what the bulletin was about, since the announcer, like all announcers, had a serious speech impediment. For about half a minute, and in a state of high excitement, the announcer tried to say, “Ladies and gentlemen – ”

http://instruct.westvalley.edu/lafave/hb.html