Barack’s Saudi Travel Log (Cont’d):

“Got goosebumps…heard the prettiest sound on earth again, the call to prayer. Reminded me of the good ol’ days in Jakarta.”

“Michelle tried on her hijab with matching niqab. She looks great in black….very slimming. Her eyes look great…it’s the ultimate in modesty, but also kinda kinky, a woman covered in black like that. Hehehehe. I can’t wait for Sasha & Malia to get their first niqab…it will keep all those nasty boys away. At first at least.”

“Had a “coming out” talk with Michelle. She said time is not right yet. The American ummah are not strong enough yet. Michelle….she knows how to call it!”

“Looking forward to amputation ceremony tomorrow in the public square. Some idiot is getting his hand chopped off for stealing a pair of blue jeans. Wonder if they’ll chop off his foot on the opposite side too. I think that’s encouraged for maximum shame. Didn’t know they can wear blue jeans in Mecca…the guys I guess, not the gals.”

“Also hear there might be a beheading. That would be cool! Imagine all that blood spurting from the jugular. Always wondered if the guys head was still conscious when it hit the ground. Allahu akbar!”