Mr. Bother is a usually-cheerful 350lb and when I married him I reconciled myself to sitting in the center seat for the rest of my life. Fortunately for me his shoulder is in just the right place to rest my head, but if the seat on my other side also contains a man with cliffs-for-shoulders, I’m in a world of hurt.

I say usually-cheerful because by the time we get past TSA and into the plane he’s so grumpy I don’t know what he’ll say so some innocent airline employee (I don’t believe there are any innocent TSA employees). I think Reloader 449 has the right idea.