To make a decision to forgo marriage and give oneself to others – to care for an ailing parent, become a nun or priest, or a missionary – carries with it an inherent nobility that can sustain the giver in later years. You end your days knowing that you have attempted to live a hero’s existence, a life worth living, a life worth remembering, a life of good memories. Yes, it is sad and unfair in some sense, like Ilyusha’s death in the Brother’s Karamazov, but it is also inspiring to everyone touched by such a life. That is why Alyosha’s Speech at the Stone reverberates across all time.

But to forgo marriage and childrearing simply because they might negatively impact your lifestyle of consumption – well, it shouldn’t be a surprise that their story ends in lamentation and woe. We should be kind and generous to those who made this terrible choice, but there is little we can do to stop their pain. Narcissism, alas, is its own punishment.

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